Author Topic: Daft Confessions Thread  (Read 121465 times)

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Offline Tomato Deuce

  • Book Wanker
  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2775 on: Wednesday 18 March 2020, 11:37:47 PM »
All this TP stockpiling talk has dredged up the memory of the time I s*** my underwear while sleeping in the bed of this girl I had unsuccessfully tried to get with, and who had only like two wraps of toilet paper left around the roll and no fresh rolls under the sink or anywhere else I could find in the bathroom. But she did have cotton balls under the sink, so...like half to three-quarters of a bag of cotton balls later, I'm trying to quit freaking out long enough to fall asleep on the couch, and she's like "you can come back to bed," thinking I'm being gentlemanly or something. It was an uncomfortable 15 block or so walk home. I assumed she found out because...where did they all go? And you can't flush them, so the trash was the only choice, and there was barely anything in there to cover them up with. We were in the same group of friends at school, so I saw her...every...f***ing...day...but never a word said. She was class.

:lol: she’s not your wife now?

Offline Kimbo

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2776 on: Wednesday 18 March 2020, 11:40:30 PM »
Unfortunate use of the phrase “dredged up”.  f***ing hell though, I’m not sure I would ever recover from that.

Offline B-more Mag

  • General Member
  • Sleestak 2020
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2777 on: Wednesday 18 March 2020, 11:48:42 PM »
All this TP stockpiling talk has dredged up the memory of the time I s*** my underwear while sleeping in the bed of this girl I had unsuccessfully tried to get with, and who had only like two wraps of toilet paper left around the roll and no fresh rolls under the sink or anywhere else I could find in the bathroom. But she did have cotton balls under the sink, so...like half to three-quarters of a bag of cotton balls later, I'm trying to quit freaking out long enough to fall asleep on the couch, and she's like "you can come back to bed," thinking I'm being gentlemanly or something. It was an uncomfortable 15 block or so walk home. I assumed she found out because...where did they all go? And you can't flush them, so the trash was the only choice, and there was barely anything in there to cover them up with. We were in the same group of friends at school, so I saw her...every...f***ing...day...but never a word said. She was class.

:lol: she’s not your wife now?

Hard to marry someone you can't even look in the eyes. :lol:

Offline BlufPurdi

  • Administrator
  • Speaking truth to stupid since 2005.
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2778 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 12:17:55 AM »
That's great, B-more. :lol: :thup:

Reminds me of a time I had to use my boxers to wipe my arse when I was on LSD at a pub. Had to be commando for the rest of the night though. :undecided:

But what a relief. Stuffed them down the back of the toilet... :snod:
Making mistakes is how you learn.
Every generation must fight the same battles again and again and again. There is no final victory, and there is no final defeat, and so a little bit of history may help.
“What power have you got? Where did you get it from? In whose interests do you exercise it? To whom are you accountable? And how can we get rid of you?” If you cannot get rid of the people who govern you, you do not live in a democratic system.
That is why no one with power likes democracy and that is why every generation must struggle to win it and keep it – including you and me, here and now.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2779 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 12:28:09 AM »
:lol: Where the guy working a job he already f***ing hates found them. This f***ing guy.

Offline BlufPurdi

  • Administrator
  • Speaking truth to stupid since 2005.
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2780 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 12:29:07 AM »
:lol:

I can confirm they were gone a week later. :whistle:
Making mistakes is how you learn.
Every generation must fight the same battles again and again and again. There is no final victory, and there is no final defeat, and so a little bit of history may help.
“What power have you got? Where did you get it from? In whose interests do you exercise it? To whom are you accountable? And how can we get rid of you?” If you cannot get rid of the people who govern you, you do not live in a democratic system.
That is why no one with power likes democracy and that is why every generation must struggle to win it and keep it – including you and me, here and now.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2781 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 01:06:43 AM »
:lol: I can confirm the custodian sighs every night before he opens that door.

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2782 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 02:13:31 AM »
One of the nice things about being old is that I’ve been around long enough to know I have had to wipe my arse with my boxers, but I’ve also been around long enough to not remember the details. I think it was while I was in Scotland, but I do know I at least put them in the trash.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline BlufPurdi

  • Administrator
  • Speaking truth to stupid since 2005.
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2783 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 08:11:44 AM »
:lol:

The sheer terror when I realised there was no bog roll. Then the sublime relief when the boxers idea entered the mind. :aww:
Making mistakes is how you learn.
Every generation must fight the same battles again and again and again. There is no final victory, and there is no final defeat, and so a little bit of history may help.
“What power have you got? Where did you get it from? In whose interests do you exercise it? To whom are you accountable? And how can we get rid of you?” If you cannot get rid of the people who govern you, you do not live in a democratic system.
That is why no one with power likes democracy and that is why every generation must struggle to win it and keep it – including you and me, here and now.

Offline Si

  • General Member
  • I dont handle change well.
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2784 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 08:49:49 AM »
[emoji38]

The sheer terror when I realised there was no bog roll. Then the sublime relief when the boxers idea entered the mind. :aww:

You still talking about this? Can tell it was boxers not briefs.

:smugdog:
Bearings Straight!

Offline Shak

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2785 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 09:21:05 AM »
Howay Mike, give those swingers hell! :lol:

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2786 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 03:46:25 PM »
All this TP stockpiling talk has dredged up the memory of the time I s*** my underwear while sleeping in the bed of this girl I had unsuccessfully tried to get with, and who had only like two wraps of toilet paper left around the roll and no fresh rolls under the sink or anywhere else I could find in the bathroom. But she did have cotton balls under the sink, so...like half to three-quarters of a bag of cotton balls later, I'm trying to quit freaking out long enough to fall asleep on the couch, and she's like "you can come back to bed," thinking I'm being gentlemanly or something. It was an uncomfortable 15 block or so walk home. I assumed she found out because...where did they all go? And you can't flush them, so the trash was the only choice, and there was barely anything in there to cover them up with. We were in the same group of friends at school, so I saw her...every...f***ing...day...but never a word said. She was class.

:lol: she’s not your wife now?

:lol:

Introduce iz, B.