Author Topic: Experiences of depression and anxiety  (Read 134593 times)

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Offline Froggy

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2650 on: Monday 1 June 2020, 07:03:30 AM »
@Mike Sounds like you're on a whole other level from where you were a few months ago. You'll be able to shut out the shitty stuff soon enough.

Years ago you were getting up early doors to go for a cycle. You back doing that?

Offline Tyne81

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2651 on: Monday 1 June 2020, 09:21:58 AM »
homophobic/racist s****

Bet you failed all your GCSEs.

Didn't do as well as predicted but I started to really enjoy drugs around this point. I also don't appreciate being called a racist from  a clear light hearted jokey comment of which I have seen much worse on here, that and the fact I've suffered racial abuse throughout my life.

Offline Jill

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2652 on: Monday 1 June 2020, 09:29:43 AM »
Here's a weird one. I'm in a good place, meds work (too well, tbh :shifty: ) and socially I'm on the upswing and all that.

Shifting the weight is proving difficult but I'm mostly doing ok? Got an appt with a nutritionist and being back at work and on the bike can only be a good thing. But like...despite all of that, right over there on the horizon, some of the blackest god damn clouds I've ever seen in my life. Like, the loooming self loathing headed my way is significant and I cannot for the life of me figure out what the f*** it's doing there. It's f***ing dead odd. Everything is pretty ok or just as s*** as it's always been and I can hear the self harm voice fading in from the background. :undecided:

:lol: Dunno. It's some s***. If it was just today I'd be like "Eh, f***ing Sunday." But those clouds have been there for more than a week. Anyone relate? The meds are working, ffs! :lol:

Totally relate. I've felt gloomy as hell this past week (think it's hormonal in my case) even though my meds work fine and it's difficult to shift out of the mindset. We can use depression as a sort of comfort blanket, which sounds daft but when it's something we've known for a long time it's kind of reassuring in a way. The awareness of these feelings is a massive step as in the past we'd have been feeling like this without really registering something is amiss. You can acknowledge they are there but don't have to let them overwhelm you by doing small things to help yourself like keeping clean, a bit of exercise etc and find that belief that in fact it's not an inevitability that you'll go back to that dark place. Sometimes it's exhausting feeling like you're constantly keeping gloom just out of arm's reach but it helps me stay vigilant with taking my meds and talking about stuff when it comes up rather than letting myself slide back into it.

You sound a world apart from some of your previous posts in here so you've made massive progress. Of course you'll still have bad weeks but as long as you're doing what you can to keep going you'll continue to get better.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2653 on: Monday 1 June 2020, 11:01:40 AM »
Here's a weird one. I'm in a good place, meds work (too well, tbh :shifty: ) and socially I'm on the upswing and all that.

Shifting the weight is proving difficult but I'm mostly doing ok? Got an appt with a nutritionist and being back at work and on the bike can only be a good thing. But like...despite all of that, right over there on the horizon, some of the blackest god damn clouds I've ever seen in my life. Like, the loooming self loathing headed my way is significant and I cannot for the life of me figure out what the f*** it's doing there. It's f***ing dead odd. Everything is pretty ok or just as s*** as it's always been and I can hear the self harm voice fading in from the background. :undecided:

:lol: Dunno. It's some s***. If it was just today I'd be like "Eh, f***ing Sunday." But those clouds have been there for more than a week. Anyone relate? The meds are working, ffs! :lol:

Totally relate. I've felt gloomy as hell this past week (think it's hormonal in my case) even though my meds work fine and it's difficult to shift out of the mindset. We can use depression as a sort of comfort blanket, which sounds daft but when it's something we've known for a long time it's kind of reassuring in a way. The awareness of these feelings is a massive step as in the past we'd have been feeling like this without really registering something is amiss. You can acknowledge they are there but don't have to let them overwhelm you by doing small things to help yourself like keeping clean, a bit of exercise etc and find that belief that in fact it's not an inevitability that you'll go back to that dark place. Sometimes it's exhausting feeling like you're constantly keeping gloom just out of arm's reach but it helps me stay vigilant with taking my meds and talking about stuff when it comes up rather than letting myself slide back into it.

You sound a world apart from some of your previous posts in here so you've made massive progress. Of course you'll still have bad weeks but as long as you're doing what you can to keep going you'll continue to get better.

:thup: Can totally relate to these 2 posts.  Which gives me mixed feelings as I wish the absolute best for you both but reassuring to read I'm not the only one.

Meds are working quite well for me now but that looming dread is there for me as well.  And having to be super pro-active about my mental health constantly is frustrating and exhausting if I let myself drift off into "poor me" mode.  I'm best off when I just do the stuff that's good for me, no questions asked.  And when less of my internal monologue begins with "I".  "I'm sick of this", "I can't be arsed with that" etc.  Easier said than done but that self awareness does help.

Goes without saying you've both made great strides the last few years, confronting things in a way many don't ever get around to because it's too painful.

Keep doing the right things and hoping for better, and always remember where you started :thup:

Offline ManDoon

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2654 on: Monday 1 June 2020, 11:10:31 AM »
Very stressful time. I've recovered a bit from my low point last week, really only lasted a day or two.

Still feel everything is unfair right now, so much of how lockdown affects you depends on where you live and whether you're in a relationship etc, but I know everyone has their problems and trying not to dwell on it.

Have you been catching up with mates in general like zoom/Skype ps4? Probably already are doing it but I find that helps when I’m feeling isolated or whatever
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline Froggy

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2655 on: Monday 1 June 2020, 12:58:07 PM »
See if any of you ever need to jump onto the PS4 for a chat or just to blow off some steam just message me as well. I'll always make myself free for some FIFA or whatever.

Met you in real life Ian so it's not weird.

Offline Mike

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2656 on: Monday 1 June 2020, 02:05:16 PM »
Ian get on the discord, man.

Offline Consortium of one

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2657 on: Tuesday 2 June 2020, 02:13:59 PM »
Here's a weird one. I'm in a good place, meds work (too well, tbh :shifty: ) and socially I'm on the upswing and all that.

Shifting the weight is proving difficult but I'm mostly doing ok? Got an appt with a nutritionist and being back at work and on the bike can only be a good thing. But like...despite all of that, right over there on the horizon, some of the blackest god damn clouds I've ever seen in my life. Like, the loooming self loathing headed my way is significant and I cannot for the life of me figure out what the f*** it's doing there. It's f***ing dead odd. Everything is pretty ok or just as s*** as it's always been and I can hear the self harm voice fading in from the background. :undecided:

:lol: Dunno. It's some s***. If it was just today I'd be like "Eh, f***ing Sunday." But those clouds have been there for more than a week. Anyone relate? The meds are working, ffs! :lol:

I can definitely relate.  Waiting for the other shoe to drop is a learned behavior.  You have to unlearn those thoughts.  What I did is look at those those black clouds, see them for what they are (feelings not facts) and let them go.  Those black clouds are not real and won't affect me unless I give them the power to affect me.

Offline Carrick18

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2658 on: Tuesday 2 June 2020, 02:20:21 PM »
I think like many people the uncertainty surrounding the future has really enhanced my anxiety. A mixture of work drying up and not knowing when I'll be able to see family back home has been weighing on my mind, and my usual release of football (be it watching or playing) is absent to boot.

That said, we got an exercise bike in the house a fortnight ago and hopping on that, even for half-an-hour has helped. It seems to clear the cobwebs a bit.

Wishing you all the best mate. Have been suffering myself recently so sending strength and power to you. Let us know how you’re getting on
Cheers mate, I'm very fortunate that the anxiety is at a low for me to begin with. I liken it more to waiting to board a plane than feeling totally lost or hopeless.