Wait, what? I thought I had Most Boring in the bag. I had my 73-page acceptance speech written out and everything. FFS. I'll have to adapt it for next year. My campaign starts tomorrow.
Smashing attention to detail, Kaizero, and laudable transparency. Lots of interesting numbers crunched, eliciting reactions from people. I believe that these things are interesting, I really do.

Nah, good work, man, that must have taken ages. As all worthwhile projects do, obviously. I think I'll start my campaign a couple of minutes ago, actually. Off to bed with me, ho-ho! Man, this is going to be a long year.