Author Topic: What mood are you in?  (Read 582277 times)

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Offline Mike

  • General Member
  • Long Island, NY
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17075 on: Saturday 7 March 2020, 11:53:09 PM »
:aww:

Offline SEMTEX

  • General Member
  • Not you. Me.
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17076 on: Saturday 7 March 2020, 11:54:43 PM »
:lol: Mike IDK what you did to the new-page gods but f*** man. Goto confession or something.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
  • Long Island, NY
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17077 on: Saturday 7 March 2020, 11:55:04 PM »
:lol: Every god damn time.

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17078 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 04:02:59 AM »
f***ing turbulent mood today, like. Got a call from my wife in hysterics this morning, she was at the vet, a dog had killed our new(ish) puppy at the local doggy day care. Had to leave work, get there (40 minute drive) then we had to work out how we were going to tell the kids. One of whom has her tenth birthday on Sunday. Life, eh?

So sorry, man. Just say it was natural causes or something? You know what to do. It was f***ing horrible when some random dog gave one of our cats life-ending injuries AFTER said cat had jumped into the safety of mrs n's arms. I wasn't there otherwise that dog would have been booted over the horizon before it had the chance. She cares and panics, first one's good, second one's not. Pretty sure that he was euthanised the same day we got relegated as well. I had to clean up the blood and the s*** :lol: I was also cut out of the process because her bro had landed.

Think that's the worst one we've had. We don't speak about the incident, it was traumatic.

Sorry to hear that man. No, we told them the truth, or at least a more palatable version of it. My wife's probably the most upset of all of us, and the hardest thing for me was seeing her reaction, and that of the kids. On the plus side, they've lost a couple of close family members over here but this is arguably the first really close and shocking death they've had to deal with, and I'd rather it was Dog #2 than, say, Grandma. Which is going to be an absolute f***ing nightmare, but hopefully not for at least another ten years. Which, of course, was how long we thought it would take before we had to have that conversation about the dog and the whole point of waiting this long to get one FFS :lol:.

Wrote (I think) a very even-tempered and generous email to the "Business Relations Manager" of the Daycare (who was at the Vet and gave me his card). He's forwarded it upstairs so we'll see what happens next.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17079 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 06:24:58 AM »
f***ing turbulent mood today, like. Got a call from my wife in hysterics this morning, she was at the vet, a dog had killed our new(ish) puppy at the local doggy day care. Had to leave work, get there (40 minute drive) then we had to work out how we were going to tell the kids. One of whom has her tenth birthday on Sunday. Life, eh?

So sorry, man. Just say it was natural causes or something? You know what to do. It was f***ing horrible when some random dog gave one of our cats life-ending injuries AFTER said cat had jumped into the safety of mrs n's arms. I wasn't there otherwise that dog would have been booted over the horizon before it had the chance. She cares and panics, first one's good, second one's not. Pretty sure that he was euthanised the same day we got relegated as well. I had to clean up the blood and the s*** :lol: I was also cut out of the process because her bro had landed.

Think that's the worst one we've had. We don't speak about the incident, it was traumatic.

Sorry to hear that man. No, we told them the truth, or at least a more palatable version of it. My wife's probably the most upset of all of us, and the hardest thing for me was seeing her reaction, and that of the kids. On the plus side, they've lost a couple of close family members over here but this is arguably the first really close and shocking death they've had to deal with, and I'd rather it was Dog #2 than, say, Grandma. Which is going to be an absolute f***ing nightmare, but hopefully not for at least another ten years. Which, of course, was how long we thought it would take before we had to have that conversation about the dog and the whole point of waiting this long to get one FFS :lol:.

Wrote (I think) a very even-tempered and generous email to the "Business Relations Manager" of the Daycare (who was at the Vet and gave me his card). He's forwarded it upstairs so we'll see what happens next.

:thup: I knew you'd deal with it. I find kids are surprisingly resilient, they're just "oh, this is what happens". Shouldn't have done, though, that's not right.
:) As you were.

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17080 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 06:46:48 AM »
Sorry, @leffe186 you're a medic - how do you deal with the awful things you have to cope with at work? They only very occasionally crop up in my life and I stick them in a compartment in my mind and pick them apart at some later date, but it must be constant for you. Do you guys get counselling or are you just made of tougher stuff than we mere mortals?

Loads of my family are/were nurses and they are just "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can." That's pretty much what I run with.
:) As you were.

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17081 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 06:50:40 AM »
f***ing turbulent mood today, like. Got a call from my wife in hysterics this morning, she was at the vet, a dog had killed our new(ish) puppy at the local doggy day care. Had to leave work, get there (40 minute drive) then we had to work out how we were going to tell the kids. One of whom has her tenth birthday on Sunday. Life, eh?

So sorry, man. Just say it was natural causes or something? You know what to do. It was f***ing horrible when some random dog gave one of our cats life-ending injuries AFTER said cat had jumped into the safety of mrs n's arms. I wasn't there otherwise that dog would have been booted over the horizon before it had the chance. She cares and panics, first one's good, second one's not. Pretty sure that he was euthanised the same day we got relegated as well. I had to clean up the blood and the s*** :lol: I was also cut out of the process because her bro had landed.

Think that's the worst one we've had. We don't speak about the incident, it was traumatic.

Sorry to hear that man. No, we told them the truth, or at least a more palatable version of it. My wife's probably the most upset of all of us, and the hardest thing for me was seeing her reaction, and that of the kids. On the plus side, they've lost a couple of close family members over here but this is arguably the first really close and shocking death they've had to deal with, and I'd rather it was Dog #2 than, say, Grandma. Which is going to be an absolute f***ing nightmare, but hopefully not for at least another ten years. Which, of course, was how long we thought it would take before we had to have that conversation about the dog and the whole point of waiting this long to get one FFS :lol:.

Wrote (I think) a very even-tempered and generous email to the "Business Relations Manager" of the Daycare (who was at the Vet and gave me his card). He's forwarded it upstairs so we'll see what happens next.

:thup: I knew you'd deal with it. I find kids are surprisingly resilient, they're just "oh, this is what happens". Shouldn't have done, though, that's not right.

:lol: Some kids are resilient. We're hosting a sleepover for our (just this last hour) 10-year-old. One of the girls is - I think - unused to pop, cake, crisps etc. A couple of hours ago (it's currently 1:40 am) she called me into the bathroom for help. She was standing in the biggest puddle of vomit I have ever seen. My wife's sick, and so I didn't want her to have to come in, so I grabbed about half a dozen towels, wiped her feet and basically handed her to my wife saying "can you sort this". Then spent literally an hour cleaning the bathroom. It was f***ing insane - I mean, I'm 46 years old, I'm a nurse, have been to a million gigs and festivals and have - you know - been around and I have never seen so much vomit in one place in my life. And by in one place, I mean, in one room - it was abso-f***ing-lutely everywhere. I'd deliberately not told my wife how bad it was, and about 20 minutes later she asked me if it was done. I told her I'd nearly finished the floor, and was starting on the walls and cabinets. It was all over the skirting boards, all over the toilet - I mean, almost nothing actually in the toilet, just all over the toilet - in the sink, all over the cabinets. She'd bent it round f***ing corners. It was in the f***ing vents. All of this is completely true.  Never seen anything like it in my life, and I hope I never do again.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest, I mean, f*** this week :lol:.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17082 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 06:56:15 AM »
:lol: Jesus. Bent it round corners. :lol: Unfortunately I know exactly what you mean.
:) As you were.

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17083 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 07:49:30 AM »
Sorry, @leffe186 you're a medic - how do you deal with the awful things you have to cope with at work? They only very occasionally crop up in my life and I stick them in a compartment in my mind and pick them apart at some later date, but it must be constant for you. Do you guys get counselling or are you just made of tougher stuff than we mere mortals?

Loads of my family are/were nurses and they are just "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can." That's pretty much what I run with.

You think about that stuff a fair bit - as nurses you are very much encouraged to practice self-care and constantly reflect on and assess yourself. "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can" is kind of how it ends up, but I think there's a fair bit involved in getting to that stage.

People have different approaches. I've always been able to compartmentalize things somewhat, and I came to nursing pretty late in life which I think helps enormously. You have extensive training both in school and on-the-job which helps make many skills almost automatic, which I think helps in many situations (both serious and less so) where actually having to really think about what you're doing would cause problems. Empathy is incredibly valuable, but can also make certain situations very difficult to cope with. I work in a pediatric ICU which can be extremely tough, and recall one patient in particular (trying to be vague) where two experienced nurses left the room in tears in two separate instances, unable to care for that patient. In both cases, the patient was the same age as one of their children, and it was just too close to home.

Counselling is available, although I will say that I haven't actively taken it up. We all act as support for each other. One difficulty is that because of patient privacy we are unable to discuss specifics of cases with our emotional support groups outside of work (family, friends etc.) In addition, some of the things you see and do are things that those people outside work have very rarely if ever encountered. In addition addition, some of the things you see and do you wouldn't want them to know all that much about even if you could :lol:.

There's an element of just - you know - it's the job that we trained for and so it's what we do. I think it is a vocation, for most. Every once in a while something happens and you just think - f***ing hell, most people never ever get to see anything like this, what the absolute f*** am I doing? Was cleaning up that vomit just now easier because I am a nurse, or did it just have to get done because I'm a Dad, my wife's sick, s*** happens, and you do what you can? Pretty sure it was the latter in this instance. People really do say "you're amazing, I could never do that" and I always think "I bet you could if you had to. If it was your child, or your parent, or your wife." We see it every day, families who've been hit with a bolt from the blue, life-changing events that sometimes result in their child needing round-the-clock care for the rest of their life. Some fall by the wayside, but some find astonishing reserves from somewhere and achieve the most amazing things. To tell you the truth, I sometimes look at them and think - "you're amazing, I could never do that." And it might be true.

There's a book I read a while back - "The Language of Kindness: A Nurse's Story". Written by Christie Watson, an English nurse, now an author. The chapter on the PICU was so good I intend to type it out in full and post it on our wall at work. Somewhere in there is a quote about how nursing is a terrible gift - something like you see what your life could be, and it makes you thankful for what it is. In it she also quotes a doctor semi-jokingly saying that a difficult day in the PICU isn't when a child dies, but when you accidentally kill a child. If you've done everything you can, then that helps you cope.

People do burn out, and definitely in the PICU. I believe one of those two nurses is no longer practicing (decided it was getting too much emotionally), but the other is still working with me in the PICU. I was going to say that the first nurse has left the profession, but I'm not sure you ever so, and in fact I know they've considered coming back. I'm very lucky in that I now work PRN - "as needed" - and so can control my shifts. Because of my wife's work I can't work consecutive shifts during the week. It's only when that happened that I realized how emotionally (and physically, sure) demanding those consecutive shifts are. If you have a rough 12-hour assignment, you get home around 8 if you're lucky, get to bed around 10 if you're lucky, and know that you'll be back up at 5 to take the same patient again. That takes its toll. You could choose not to take that patient, but then you know somebody else would have to, and they are unlikely to know them and/or their family as well as you. It could be tougher for both patient and family, and you know that new nurse is likely to have a shitty shift because you just did. So you take them anyway.

Now I'm PRN. I figure you can do anything for 12 hours, particularly if you know you don't have to come back and do it all again the next day.

Jeez, that got all HTT there. sorry about the length of that. I really did need to unburden.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline Varadi

  • General Member
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17084 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 07:55:45 AM »
f***ing turbulent mood today, like. Got a call from my wife in hysterics this morning, she was at the vet, a dog had killed our new(ish) puppy at the local doggy day care. Had to leave work, get there (40 minute drive) then we had to work out how we were going to tell the kids. One of whom has her tenth birthday on Sunday. Life, eh?

So sorry, man. Just say it was natural causes or something? You know what to do. It was f***ing horrible when some random dog gave one of our cats life-ending injuries AFTER said cat had jumped into the safety of mrs n's arms. I wasn't there otherwise that dog would have been booted over the horizon before it had the chance. She cares and panics, first one's good, second one's not. Pretty sure that he was euthanised the same day we got relegated as well. I had to clean up the blood and the s*** :lol: I was also cut out of the process because her bro had landed.

Think that's the worst one we've had. We don't speak about the incident, it was traumatic.

Sorry to hear that man. No, we told them the truth, or at least a more palatable version of it. My wife's probably the most upset of all of us, and the hardest thing for me was seeing her reaction, and that of the kids. On the plus side, they've lost a couple of close family members over here but this is arguably the first really close and shocking death they've had to deal with, and I'd rather it was Dog #2 than, say, Grandma. Which is going to be an absolute f***ing nightmare, but hopefully not for at least another ten years. Which, of course, was how long we thought it would take before we had to have that conversation about the dog and the whole point of waiting this long to get one FFS :lol:.

Wrote (I think) a very even-tempered and generous email to the "Business Relations Manager" of the Daycare (who was at the Vet and gave me his card). He's forwarded it upstairs so we'll see what happens next.

:thup: I knew you'd deal with it. I find kids are surprisingly resilient, they're just "oh, this is what happens". Shouldn't have done, though, that's not right.

:lol: Some kids are resilient. We're hosting a sleepover for our (just this last hour) 10-year-old. One of the girls is - I think - unused to pop, cake, crisps etc. A couple of hours ago (it's currently 1:40 am) she called me into the bathroom for help. She was standing in the biggest puddle of vomit I have ever seen. My wife's sick, and so I didn't want her to have to come in, so I grabbed about half a dozen towels, wiped her feet and basically handed her to my wife saying "can you sort this". Then spent literally an hour cleaning the bathroom. It was f***ing insane - I mean, I'm 46 years old, I'm a nurse, have been to a million gigs and festivals and have - you know - been around and I have never seen so much vomit in one place in my life. And by in one place, I mean, in one room - it was abso-f***ing-lutely everywhere. I'd deliberately not told my wife how bad it was, and about 20 minutes later she asked me if it was done. I told her I'd nearly finished the floor, and was starting on the walls and cabinets. It was all over the skirting boards, all over the toilet - I mean, almost nothing actually in the toilet, just all over the toilet - in the sink, all over the cabinets. She'd bent it round f***ing corners. It was in the f***ing vents. All of this is completely true.  Never seen anything like it in my life, and I hope I never do again.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest, I mean, f*** this week :lol:.

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm sorry man, but f***ing hell

Offline loki679

  • General Member
  • 中国
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17085 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 08:01:40 AM »
Sorry, @leffe186 you're a medic - how do you deal with the awful things you have to cope with at work? They only very occasionally crop up in my life and I stick them in a compartment in my mind and pick them apart at some later date, but it must be constant for you. Do you guys get counselling or are you just made of tougher stuff than we mere mortals?

Loads of my family are/were nurses and they are just "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can." That's pretty much what I run with.

You think about that stuff a fair bit - as nurses you are very much encouraged to practice self-care and constantly reflect on and assess yourself. "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can" is kind of how it ends up, but I think there's a fair bit involved in getting to that stage.

People have different approaches. I've always been able to compartmentalize things somewhat, and I came to nursing pretty late in life which I think helps enormously. You have extensive training both in school and on-the-job which helps make many skills almost automatic, which I think helps in many situations (both serious and less so) where actually having to really think about what you're doing would cause problems. Empathy is incredibly valuable, but can also make certain situations very difficult to cope with. I work in a pediatric ICU which can be extremely tough, and recall one patient in particular (trying to be vague) where two experienced nurses left the room in tears in two separate instances, unable to care for that patient. In both cases, the patient was the same age as one of their children, and it was just too close to home.

Counselling is available, although I will say that I haven't actively taken it up. We all act as support for each other. One difficulty is that because of patient privacy we are unable to discuss specifics of cases with our emotional support groups outside of work (family, friends etc.) In addition, some of the things you see and do are things that those people outside work have very rarely if ever encountered. In addition addition, some of the things you see and do you wouldn't want them to know all that much about even if you could :lol:.

There's an element of just - you know - it's the job that we trained for and so it's what we do. I think it is a vocation, for most. Every once in a while something happens and you just think - f***ing hell, most people never ever get to see anything like this, what the absolute f*** am I doing? Was cleaning up that vomit just now easier because I am a nurse, or did it just have to get done because I'm a Dad, my wife's sick, s*** happens, and you do what you can? Pretty sure it was the latter in this instance. People really do say "you're amazing, I could never do that" and I always think "I bet you could if you had to. If it was your child, or your parent, or your wife." We see it every day, families who've been hit with a bolt from the blue, life-changing events that sometimes result in their child needing round-the-clock care for the rest of their life. Some fall by the wayside, but some find astonishing reserves from somewhere and achieve the most amazing things. To tell you the truth, I sometimes look at them and think - "you're amazing, I could never do that." And it might be true.

There's a book I read a while back - "The Language of Kindness: A Nurse's Story". Written by Christie Watson, an English nurse, now an author. The chapter on the PICU was so good I intend to type it out in full and post it on our wall at work. Somewhere in there is a quote about how nursing is a terrible gift - something like you see what your life could be, and it makes you thankful for what it is. In it she also quotes a doctor semi-jokingly saying that a difficult day in the PICU isn't when a child dies, but when you accidentally kill a child. If you've done everything you can, then that helps you cope.

People do burn out, and definitely in the PICU. I believe one of those two nurses is no longer practicing (decided it was getting too much emotionally), but the other is still working with me in the PICU. I was going to say that the first nurse has left the profession, but I'm not sure you ever so, and in fact I know they've considered coming back. I'm very lucky in that I now work PRN - "as needed" - and so can control my shifts. Because of my wife's work I can't work consecutive shifts during the week. It's only when that happened that I realized how emotionally (and physically, sure) demanding those consecutive shifts are. If you have a rough 12-hour assignment, you get home around 8 if you're lucky, get to bed around 10 if you're lucky, and know that you'll be back up at 5 to take the same patient again. That takes its toll. You could choose not to take that patient, but then you know somebody else would have to, and they are unlikely to know them and/or their family as well as you. It could be tougher for both patient and family, and you know that new nurse is likely to have a shitty shift because you just did. So you take them anyway.

Now I'm PRN. I figure you can do anything for 12 hours, particularly if you know you don't have to come back and do it all again the next day.

Jeez, that got all HTT there. sorry about the length of that. I really did need to unburden.

I don't really have anything to contribute except to say thanks for that, was a really interesting post and a good look at things from your perspective.  Cheers :thup:
Comfy chairs, beer, and doom. Humanity's future is an early 90s LAN party.

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17086 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 08:24:28 AM »

Jeez, that got all HTT there. sorry about the length of that. I really did need to unburden.

Mate, I thought you might need a vent. How did you end up on a Newcastle forum? I have relentless respect for the medical profession so I love you, but you're a Spurs fan. Is it because this is the best place in the world and we can't give you coronavirus? I touch my face all the f***ing time too btw. We all do.
:) As you were.

Offline Yorkie

  • General Member
  • C'mTA
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17087 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 08:38:14 AM »
f***ing turbulent mood today, like. Got a call from my wife in hysterics this morning, she was at the vet, a dog had killed our new(ish) puppy at the local doggy day care. Had to leave work, get there (40 minute drive) then we had to work out how we were going to tell the kids. One of whom has her tenth birthday on Sunday. Life, eh?

So sorry, man. Just say it was natural causes or something? You know what to do. It was f***ing horrible when some random dog gave one of our cats life-ending injuries AFTER said cat had jumped into the safety of mrs n's arms. I wasn't there otherwise that dog would have been booted over the horizon before it had the chance. She cares and panics, first one's good, second one's not. Pretty sure that he was euthanised the same day we got relegated as well. I had to clean up the blood and the s*** :lol: I was also cut out of the process because her bro had landed.

Think that's the worst one we've had. We don't speak about the incident, it was traumatic.

Sorry to hear that man. No, we told them the truth, or at least a more palatable version of it. My wife's probably the most upset of all of us, and the hardest thing for me was seeing her reaction, and that of the kids. On the plus side, they've lost a couple of close family members over here but this is arguably the first really close and shocking death they've had to deal with, and I'd rather it was Dog #2 than, say, Grandma. Which is going to be an absolute f***ing nightmare, but hopefully not for at least another ten years. Which, of course, was how long we thought it would take before we had to have that conversation about the dog and the whole point of waiting this long to get one FFS :lol:.

Wrote (I think) a very even-tempered and generous email to the "Business Relations Manager" of the Daycare (who was at the Vet and gave me his card). He's forwarded it upstairs so we'll see what happens next.

:thup: I knew you'd deal with it. I find kids are surprisingly resilient, they're just "oh, this is what happens". Shouldn't have done, though, that's not right.

:lol: Some kids are resilient. We're hosting a sleepover for our (just this last hour) 10-year-old. One of the girls is - I think - unused to pop, cake, crisps etc. A couple of hours ago (it's currently 1:40 am) she called me into the bathroom for help. She was standing in the biggest puddle of vomit I have ever seen. My wife's sick, and so I didn't want her to have to come in, so I grabbed about half a dozen towels, wiped her feet and basically handed her to my wife saying "can you sort this". Then spent literally an hour cleaning the bathroom. It was f***ing insane - I mean, I'm 46 years old, I'm a nurse, have been to a million gigs and festivals and have - you know - been around and I have never seen so much vomit in one place in my life. And by in one place, I mean, in one room - it was abso-f***ing-lutely everywhere. I'd deliberately not told my wife how bad it was, and about 20 minutes later she asked me if it was done. I told her I'd nearly finished the floor, and was starting on the walls and cabinets. It was all over the skirting boards, all over the toilet - I mean, almost nothing actually in the toilet, just all over the toilet - in the sink, all over the cabinets. She'd bent it round f***ing corners. It was in the f***ing vents. All of this is completely true.  Never seen anything like it in my life, and I hope I never do again.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest, I mean, f*** this week :lol:.


... :lol:

(sorry)

Online Si

  • General Member
  • I dont handle change well.
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17088 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 09:13:46 AM »
Sorry, @leffe186 you're a medic - how do you deal with the awful things you have to cope with at work? They only very occasionally crop up in my life and I stick them in a compartment in my mind and pick them apart at some later date, but it must be constant for you. Do you guys get counselling or are you just made of tougher stuff than we mere mortals?

Loads of my family are/were nurses and they are just "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can." That's pretty much what I run with.

You think about that stuff a fair bit - as nurses you are very much encouraged to practice self-care and constantly reflect on and assess yourself. "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can" is kind of how it ends up, but I think there's a fair bit involved in getting to that stage.

People have different approaches. I've always been able to compartmentalize things somewhat, and I came to nursing pretty late in life which I think helps enormously. You have extensive training both in school and on-the-job which helps make many skills almost automatic, which I think helps in many situations (both serious and less so) where actually having to really think about what you're doing would cause problems. Empathy is incredibly valuable, but can also make certain situations very difficult to cope with. I work in a pediatric ICU which can be extremely tough, and recall one patient in particular (trying to be vague) where two experienced nurses left the room in tears in two separate instances, unable to care for that patient. In both cases, the patient was the same age as one of their children, and it was just too close to home.

Counselling is available, although I will say that I haven't actively taken it up. We all act as support for each other. One difficulty is that because of patient privacy we are unable to discuss specifics of cases with our emotional support groups outside of work (family, friends etc.) In addition, some of the things you see and do are things that those people outside work have very rarely if ever encountered. In addition addition, some of the things you see and do you wouldn't want them to know all that much about even if you could [emoji38].

There's an element of just - you know - it's the job that we trained for and so it's what we do. I think it is a vocation, for most. Every once in a while something happens and you just think - f***ing hell, most people never ever get to see anything like this, what the absolute f*** am I doing? Was cleaning up that vomit just now easier because I am a nurse, or did it just have to get done because I'm a Dad, my wife's sick, s*** happens, and you do what you can? Pretty sure it was the latter in this instance. People really do say "you're amazing, I could never do that" and I always think "I bet you could if you had to. If it was your child, or your parent, or your wife." We see it every day, families who've been hit with a bolt from the blue, life-changing events that sometimes result in their child needing round-the-clock care for the rest of their life. Some fall by the wayside, but some find astonishing reserves from somewhere and achieve the most amazing things. To tell you the truth, I sometimes look at them and think - "you're amazing, I could never do that." And it might be true.

There's a book I read a while back - "The Language of Kindness: A Nurse's Story". Written by Christie Watson, an English nurse, now an author. The chapter on the PICU was so good I intend to type it out in full and post it on our wall at work. Somewhere in there is a quote about how nursing is a terrible gift - something like you see what your life could be, and it makes you thankful for what it is. In it she also quotes a doctor semi-jokingly saying that a difficult day in the PICU isn't when a child dies, but when you accidentally kill a child. If you've done everything you can, then that helps you cope.

People do burn out, and definitely in the PICU. I believe one of those two nurses is no longer practicing (decided it was getting too much emotionally), but the other is still working with me in the PICU. I was going to say that the first nurse has left the profession, but I'm not sure you ever so, and in fact I know they've considered coming back. I'm very lucky in that I now work PRN - "as needed" - and so can control my shifts. Because of my wife's work I can't work consecutive shifts during the week. It's only when that happened that I realized how emotionally (and physically, sure) demanding those consecutive shifts are. If you have a rough 12-hour assignment, you get home around 8 if you're lucky, get to bed around 10 if you're lucky, and know that you'll be back up at 5 to take the same patient again. That takes its toll. You could choose not to take that patient, but then you know somebody else would have to, and they are unlikely to know them and/or their family as well as you. It could be tougher for both patient and family, and you know that new nurse is likely to have a shitty shift because you just did. So you take them anyway.

Now I'm PRN. I figure you can do anything for 12 hours, particularly if you know you don't have to come back and do it all again the next day.

Jeez, that got all HTT there. sorry about the length of that. I really did need to unburden.

I don't really have anything to contribute except to say thanks for that, was a really interesting post and a good look at things from your perspective.  Cheers :thup:
Yeah that was a really interesting post, I couldn't do that job I'm not strong enough, I'd be in absolute bits. You're doing a special thing mate.


Also that kid absolutely went to town on your bathroom. You'll be finding carrot for days [emoji38] [emoji38]
Bearings Straight!

Offline Yorkie

  • General Member
  • C'mTA
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17089 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 09:26:20 AM »
Fascinating post, Leffe.

Offline Tomato Deuce

  • Book Wanker
  • General Member
  • Pennsylvania, USA
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17090 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 12:05:06 PM »
Leffe :thup:

Offline HTT

  • tl;dr
  • General Member
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17091 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 01:05:38 PM »
Good read that Leffe and that vomit, scoop it up, put it in a frozen Yorkshire pudding, put some cheese on top, bang it in the oven and have it for tea :thup:
Wee Hughie - the greatest centre-forward Newcastle United ever had

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17092 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 01:17:06 PM »
Good read that Leffe and that vomit, scoop it up, put it in a frozen Yorkshire pudding, put some cheese on top, bang it in the oven and have it for tea :thup:

The thing is, the most solid parts weren’t carroty but more like onions. Either that or pieces of her stomach lining.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline madras

  • Philosoraptor
  • General Member
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17093 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 03:55:28 PM »
Good read that Leffe and that vomit, scoop it up, put it in a frozen Yorkshire pudding, put some cheese on top, bang it in the oven and have it for tea :thup:

The thing is, the most solid parts weren’t carroty but more like onions. Either that or pieces of her stomach lining.
When my sis had kids I talked her In  to not giving them carrot for months and see if they still came out whole in vomit.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline HTT

  • tl;dr
  • General Member
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17094 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 03:59:51 PM »
:lol: at both yous
Wee Hughie - the greatest centre-forward Newcastle United ever had

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17095 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 11:15:54 PM »

Jeez, that got all HTT there. sorry about the length of that. I really did need to unburden.

Mate, I thought you might need a vent. How did you end up on a Newcastle forum? I have relentless respect for the medical profession so I love you, but you're a Spurs fan. Is it because this is the best place in the world and we can't give you coronavirus? I touch my face all the f***ing time too btw. We all do.

I can't fully remember what the initial reason was, it was so long ago :lol:. Got a couple of connections to Newcastle - had a Best Woman at my wedding who's from Stakeford, and worked with a friend in Glasgow who's from Newcastle. We used to go down to the Spurs-Newcastle games with a couple of mates for Jolly Boys' Outings. Also lived with a Toon fan in London for a few years who was canny, mad, but canny. I think I just probably stumbled upon the site, stuck up for Spurs (very respectfully, because I'm not an idiot!) a couple of times and got sucked into Chat. It just felt like a good community, I liked the format - I dunno, lost in the mists of time now.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17096 on: Sunday 8 March 2020, 11:17:40 PM »
Good read that Leffe and that vomit, scoop it up, put it in a frozen Yorkshire pudding, put some cheese on top, bang it in the oven and have it for tea :thup:

The thing is, the most solid parts weren’t carroty but more like onions. Either that or pieces of her stomach lining.

Asked her parents - apparently she had a breakfast burrito in the morning, hence the onions. I felt this was an important update - I'm sure you will all rest easy now  :mysterysolved:
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline Tyne81

  • General Member
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17097 on: Monday 16 March 2020, 11:51:07 PM »
Can happily say I'm buoyant. In this turbalant time of uncertainty a little lightness in a dark world of bleak outlook.

Secured a deal with a company which I'm so punching above for. More work but thankfully security for my family which I've been shitting myself about.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
  • Long Island, NY
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17098 on: Wednesday 25 March 2020, 08:21:05 PM »
:lol: Gonna be absolutely bonkers by the time the lockdowns end.

Offline QuakesMag

  • General Member
  • Carmel, California
Re: What mood are you in?
« Reply #17099 on: Wednesday 25 March 2020, 08:27:03 PM »
Sorry, @leffe186 you're a medic - how do you deal with the awful things you have to cope with at work? They only very occasionally crop up in my life and I stick them in a compartment in my mind and pick them apart at some later date, but it must be constant for you. Do you guys get counselling or are you just made of tougher stuff than we mere mortals?

Loads of my family are/were nurses and they are just "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can." That's pretty much what I run with.

You think about that stuff a fair bit - as nurses you are very much encouraged to practice self-care and constantly reflect on and assess yourself. "Ah, s*** happens and you do what you can" is kind of how it ends up, but I think there's a fair bit involved in getting to that stage.

People have different approaches. I've always been able to compartmentalize things somewhat, and I came to nursing pretty late in life which I think helps enormously. You have extensive training both in school and on-the-job which helps make many skills almost automatic, which I think helps in many situations (both serious and less so) where actually having to really think about what you're doing would cause problems. Empathy is incredibly valuable, but can also make certain situations very difficult to cope with. I work in a pediatric ICU which can be extremely tough, and recall one patient in particular (trying to be vague) where two experienced nurses left the room in tears in two separate instances, unable to care for that patient. In both cases, the patient was the same age as one of their children, and it was just too close to home.

Counselling is available, although I will say that I haven't actively taken it up. We all act as support for each other. One difficulty is that because of patient privacy we are unable to discuss specifics of cases with our emotional support groups outside of work (family, friends etc.) In addition, some of the things you see and do are things that those people outside work have very rarely if ever encountered. In addition addition, some of the things you see and do you wouldn't want them to know all that much about even if you could :lol:.

There's an element of just - you know - it's the job that we trained for and so it's what we do. I think it is a vocation, for most. Every once in a while something happens and you just think - f***ing hell, most people never ever get to see anything like this, what the absolute f*** am I doing? Was cleaning up that vomit just now easier because I am a nurse, or did it just have to get done because I'm a Dad, my wife's sick, s*** happens, and you do what you can? Pretty sure it was the latter in this instance. People really do say "you're amazing, I could never do that" and I always think "I bet you could if you had to. If it was your child, or your parent, or your wife." We see it every day, families who've been hit with a bolt from the blue, life-changing events that sometimes result in their child needing round-the-clock care for the rest of their life. Some fall by the wayside, but some find astonishing reserves from somewhere and achieve the most amazing things. To tell you the truth, I sometimes look at them and think - "you're amazing, I could never do that." And it might be true.

There's a book I read a while back - "The Language of Kindness: A Nurse's Story". Written by Christie Watson, an English nurse, now an author. The chapter on the PICU was so good I intend to type it out in full and post it on our wall at work. Somewhere in there is a quote about how nursing is a terrible gift - something like you see what your life could be, and it makes you thankful for what it is. In it she also quotes a doctor semi-jokingly saying that a difficult day in the PICU isn't when a child dies, but when you accidentally kill a child. If you've done everything you can, then that helps you cope.

People do burn out, and definitely in the PICU. I believe one of those two nurses is no longer practicing (decided it was getting too much emotionally), but the other is still working with me in the PICU. I was going to say that the first nurse has left the profession, but I'm not sure you ever so, and in fact I know they've considered coming back. I'm very lucky in that I now work PRN - "as needed" - and so can control my shifts. Because of my wife's work I can't work consecutive shifts during the week. It's only when that happened that I realized how emotionally (and physically, sure) demanding those consecutive shifts are. If you have a rough 12-hour assignment, you get home around 8 if you're lucky, get to bed around 10 if you're lucky, and know that you'll be back up at 5 to take the same patient again. That takes its toll. You could choose not to take that patient, but then you know somebody else would have to, and they are unlikely to know them and/or their family as well as you. It could be tougher for both patient and family, and you know that new nurse is likely to have a shitty shift because you just did. So you take them anyway.

Now I'm PRN. I figure you can do anything for 12 hours, particularly if you know you don't have to come back and do it all again the next day.

Jeez, that got all HTT there. sorry about the length of that. I really did need to unburden.

you guys are cut from a different cloth. Always had unending admiration for my ex because of how she coped with the horrible s*** she had to regularly deal with.
Not one of the cool kids, and really insecure about it.