Author Topic: Ace posts  (Read 198072 times)

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Offline MW

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #50 on: Friday 16 March 2012, 01:04:23 am »
AS9

Offline Pilko

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #51 on: Friday 16 March 2012, 01:05:10 am »
I can't find my stonecutters post :(
"Does a struggling salesman start turning up on a bicycle? No, he turns up in a newer car. Perception." - David Brent

Online Anderson

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #52 on: Friday 16 March 2012, 03:11:17 am »
Has Semtex's Steve Wraith photo been posted in here yet? If not, that.
Newcastle 4-4 Arsenal: "From impending tragedy to near-triumph via the most improbable route possible - 95 minutes that neatly encapsulate 130 years of football on this particular piece of grass. Newcastle, United, will never be defeated."

Sir Bobby Robson - What is a club in any case? Not the buildings or the directors or the people who are paid to represent it. It’s not the television contracts, get-out clauses or the marketing departments or executive boxes. It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #53 on: Saturday 17 March 2012, 12:43:04 pm »


Any time I drink tennants I get a bitching hangover. Rank rotten that stuff.

Is that Barack? :lol:

Offline Cajun

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #54 on: Sunday 18 March 2012, 01:41:16 pm »
Though that too :lol:

Offline leffe186

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #55 on: Tuesday 20 March 2012, 05:29:50 pm »
and why is it always (I stress always) assumed that people with experience are good at what they do?

Answer those please.  This will form part of a new series of threads where I aim to attack the very fabric of contemporary British life.

f***ing kneel before Zod !!!
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline Si

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #56 on: Tuesday 20 March 2012, 05:37:26 pm »
and why is it always (I stress always) assumed that people with experience are good at what they do?

Answer those please.  This will form part of a new series of threads where I aim to attack the very fabric of contemporary British life.

f***ing kneel before Zod !!!

 :lol:
Bearings Straight!

Offline leffe186

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #57 on: Tuesday 20 March 2012, 05:40:05 pm »
I'm still laughing.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #58 on: Tuesday 20 March 2012, 07:32:46 pm »
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V2l0aCBob3cgdGhlIHRhYmxlJ3Mgc2hhcGVkIHVwLCBJJ2QgY mUgdmVyeSBkaXNhcHBvaW50ZWQgdG8gZHJvcCBiZWxvdyA3dG gsIHNlZWluZyBhcyB3ZSdyZSBjdXJyZW50bHkgMTAgY2xlYXI gb2YgU3VuZGVybGFuZCB0b28u

Bang out of order you prick.

Online joeyt

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Offline Nobody

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Offline Beren

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #61 on: Monday 2 April 2012, 01:53:05 am »
Currently only makes sense to about 20 people on the board probably, and I reckon half of those will forget in a week, but for now:

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,51442.msg3613405.html#msg3613405

Hilarious!

Offline leffe186

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #62 on: Wednesday 4 April 2012, 04:11:59 pm »

Remember walking into a clothes shop and getting pounced on within a foot of stepping into the place. Did a 360 and walked out in a huff.

Did you walk out backwards?
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline TaylorJ_01

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #63 on: Wednesday 4 April 2012, 05:41:14 pm »
:lol: :lol:
I am currently happy. Its weekend. Time to unwind after a stressful work days.

Offline Jaqen H'ghar

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #64 on: Thursday 5 April 2012, 05:32:56 am »

Online POOT

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #65 on: Friday 6 April 2012, 09:48:11 pm »
I just love this :aww:

This has just been posted in the F365 match thread

 :lol:


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Online Anderson

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #66 on: Friday 6 April 2012, 10:18:56 pm »
Was just about to post that. :lol:
Newcastle 4-4 Arsenal: "From impending tragedy to near-triumph via the most improbable route possible - 95 minutes that neatly encapsulate 130 years of football on this particular piece of grass. Newcastle, United, will never be defeated."

Sir Bobby Robson - What is a club in any case? Not the buildings or the directors or the people who are paid to represent it. It’s not the television contracts, get-out clauses or the marketing departments or executive boxes. It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city.

Offline JH

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #67 on: Friday 6 April 2012, 11:24:19 pm »
It's funny but for some bizarre reason it's annoying me because it's actually "Can you tell what it is yet?" :lol:

I'm weird :laugh:

Offline S.S.R.

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #68 on: Saturday 7 April 2012, 12:29:54 am »

Remember walking into a clothes shop and getting pounced on within a foot of stepping into the place. Did a 360 and walked out in a huff.

Did you walk out backwards?

Thanks for appreciating that. Me and Spark were up all night writing that sketch.

Offline Hanshithispantz

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #69 on: Saturday 7 April 2012, 12:32:54 pm »
Amazing :lol:



:D

Absolutely loved that. Brushing Taylor aside like he wasn't even f***ing there :smitten:

Offline cfcmagpies

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #70 on: Sunday 8 April 2012, 03:45:25 pm »
Villa is run by very weak individuals, who let the club go into slide, and it was their own faults.

Are you for real?

Villa put too much trust in O'Neill. O'Neill's idea of a transfer policy is that you have no scouting network (genuinely, that's not an exaggeration, we didn't have any), and that you buy only from the home market.

He bought 30 odd players at Villa. The number who weren't playing already in the UK? Two. And one of those only happened because Lyon got on the blower and offered him to us.

MON will only work somewhere where he's the undisputed power - on and off the pitch. That's why Quinn has been shunted away. At Villa, MON worked with three chief executives - Richard FitzGerald, Michael Cunnah and Paul Faulkner.

The first two left because they found MON impossible to work with. the final one was the one who told him he had to do something about the wage bill. He refused, hoping he'd win again, only not to, as he was up against one of Lerner's closest advisors.

So what did he do? He threw his toys out of the pram and left, *five days* before the start of the season. That screwed up last season for us, and if you want an indicator of where his f***ing shameful transfer policy left us, look at the logic in buying an enitre defence in 2008-09 (Friedel. Shorey. Curtis Davies, Cuellar, Luke Young - who he could have had for 2m the year before, but waited and paid 5m for) then, deciding he didn't rate them almost immediately, going out the next season and buying ANOTHER entire defence (Beye, Warnock, Collins, Dunne).

You can point at Ashley Young and say he was a good signing (he was), and Milner was superb for us, but as he'd already spent a year with us before, that one was hardly earth shattering in terms of him scouting out a gem.

When he left, he left us with a wage bill that was 88% of our turnover, and at that point I think we had the sixth or seventh highest turnover in the league - so go figure that one out.

That's why we've had Habib Beye here for three whole years, now aged 35, picking up 40k a week. Thats why we bought Curtis Davies for 10 million pounds - think about it, ten million pounds - only to see him fail and be moved on to Blues for a pittance.

That's also why we're paying Emile f***ing Heskey 65,000 a week until he's 35, too.

You can kid yourself about "oh, it'l be different this time" but it will not be. When he left Celtic, they had the same problems. They were paying Bobo Balde the best part of 40k a week. In the SPL. Think about it.

I note also that you're needing to buy strikers this summer. Well, good luck for that. I remember us clamouring for a reliable scorer to get us into the top four. Martin went out and bought Harewood, then Heskey. At the time Darren Bent went to Sunderland for a measley £10m.

He'll almost certainly sign Kevin Doyle for you, and you'll have misgivings and convince yourself it's about what he does in a Sunderland shirt that matters, but good f***ing luck with that, because O'Neill couldn't pick a striker to save his life.

Don't get me wrong, MON had us finishing sixth (as, however, did O'Leary, which puts it in context), he's not a bad manager at all. But I'll tell you this for nothing, he'll never get you finishing about 8th or so (which these days is the new sixth, as it's harder up the top than it used to be), for two reasons. Those reasons are that to make that extra jump, you need two things - you need to play the transfer market effectively, and you need to be tactically sound.

Those, by coincidence, are MON's two major weaknesses. I've already covered transfers, but about now you should be getting the general sense that although it's ace when his Plan A works (soak up pressure, counter attack, like an away team), he genuinely does not have a clue about where to start iwth having a Plan B.

In four years with us, I also genuinely can not remember one single instance when he made a substitution which changed a match, or changed the way we were set out to play. I suspect he's probably not changed much.

I bet, for example, if i look at your last fixture, he'll have made a change at around 75 minutes. I bet he's done that in almost all your games. Over the course of time, it'll be one player more than any he brings on (for us it was Sidwell, another execrable waste of money). For you, no idea who it'l be, but it'll happen, believe me.


"Whenever I have a nightmare it isn't in colour.  It's always black and white, the colours of the meanest, toughest  club ever to run on to a football field.  Collingwood.  I've laboured the point of my hatred of Collingwood and it isn't a friendly dislike - as a club they rankle me.  You couldn't like them, they think they are God's gift to football, they shun all outsiders and the only time I like to think of Collingwood is when they lose, because it hurts them so much. I've always been a bad loser, but I'm a good sport compared to Collingwood.  If they win they gloat, if they lose they hide themselves away and sulk.  When they lose they never visit your rooms or congratulate you and they'll send you round hot beer to have a drink.  I wouldn't drink anything they offered, you wouldn't know what they had done to it." Jack 'Captain Blood' Dyer.

Offline Atticus

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #71 on: Sunday 8 April 2012, 06:26:03 pm »
Would be interesting to see how he goes in Ba's position on the left of a front three...

In the same way it would be interesting to discover what it feels like to have your toenails ripped out with a pair of pliers.

From the Obertan thread. Can't beat a bit of classic Wullie.

Offline Aphrodite

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #72 on: Sunday 8 April 2012, 07:08:17 pm »
Would be interesting to see how he goes in Ba's position on the left of a front three...

In the same way it would be interesting to discover what it feels like to have your toenails ripped out with a pair of pliers.

From the Obertan thread. Can't beat a bit of classic Wullie.

:lol: Can we get the 'comedy faces' post in here. So old-mannish.
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Offline Tooj

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #73 on: Sunday 8 April 2012, 07:09:05 pm »
Obviously I have no idea what passes for a good night out in your city, so I'm open to anything venue wise. Just don't take me to Chinatown(:lol:)

Maybe a meal at Brough Park?
"Elsewhere, at worst, modern commercial football could be seen as the mall rather than the circus; insidiously bland, decaffeinated and pre-packed, its relentless formulaic repetition an instrument for disabling consciousness rather than manipulating it."

David Goldblatt

Offline Hanshithispantz

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Re: Ace posts
« Reply #74 on: Monday 9 April 2012, 12:52:04 pm »
Is there a beginner's guide to betting anywhere?  :yao:

It's pretty simple stuff really - very intuitive.


1. Make sure your parents haven't named you Neil or Wormy.
2. After you have placed a bet that should not come off, come to this thread and write 'Do it.'
3. Wait until the 87th minute and the ball will bounce into the net off some player's arse, at which point you must come back here and write 'Decent :thup:'

That's all there is to it. If you have any questions after that, which I highly doubt, well maybe this just isn't your game.