Author Topic: Daft Confessions Thread  (Read 107541 times)

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Offline TheHoob

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2675 on: Wednesday 24 January 2018, 10:44:12 PM »
Viz Comics well worth a like on Facebook, they usually put a few readers letters up a week.

Quote
'A Barbie doll cut in two and stuffed into half a fish makes an ideal 'Little Mermaid' for a girls Christmas or birthday present.
Edna Boils, Loughborough'

Quote
'Raising the subject of oral intimacy can be a challenge in a new relationship. I'd like to advise your readers (and my ex-boyfriend Martin), that singing 'Scrotal fruits, made to make your mouth water',whilst jiggling your hips and grinning, may not always be the best approach to take.
 Ellen, Penge.'

firetotheworks

  • Guest
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2676 on: Wednesday 24 January 2018, 10:51:13 PM »
Why waste money on expensive binoculars? Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2677 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:47:50 AM »
I think the first time I read Roger's Profanisaurus was the hardest I have ever laughed in my life.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline Jimburst

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  • Yeah Buddy!
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2678 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 09:39:08 AM »
Why waste money on expensive binoculars? Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

:lol: A stone cold classic.

:lol: :lol: @ Kaiz telling Viz how to do a joke.
A splatterhouse turd done in the manky toilets of a discotheque, brought on my the consumption of cowies or toot.

Offline Kaizero

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2679 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 11:14:58 AM »
I can only surmise Brits have a rather simple form of humour, which is contrary to my previous belief.
If you're bored when you're alone, you're in bad company.

Offline Si

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  • I dont handle change well.
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2680 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 11:17:53 AM »
I can only surmise Brits have a rather simple form of humour, which is contrary to my previous belief.
 
Bearings Straight!

firetotheworks

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2681 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 11:36:41 AM »
I can only surmise Brits have a rather simple form of humour, which is contrary to my previous belief.

Don't you absolutely ram How I Met Your Mother? :lol:

And...
Nah, you just need to watch the (admittedly very few) good comedies. In 2016 that's basiclly just Swiss Army Man, The Nice Guys, Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates and Dirty Grandpa. Depending on if you like Key & Peele's style of comedy or not, Keanu can join the list as well. But it's quite divisive due to the aforementioned reason.


but apparently
less is more when it comes to jokes.
and
I can only surmise Brits have a rather simple form of humour, which is contrary to my previous belief.

I think our shores are safe, tbh. :lol:

firetotheworks

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2682 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 11:42:38 AM »
...and that's how you win most dis-likeable poster.

Offline TheHoob

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2683 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 11:59:40 AM »
 :lol:

Offline Kaizero

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  • Buttguy for prez
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2684 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:02:10 PM »
I can only surmise Brits have a rather simple form of humour, which is contrary to my previous belief.

Don't you absolutely ram How I Met Your Mother? :lol:

And...
Nah, you just need to watch the (admittedly very few) good comedies. In 2016 that's basiclly just Swiss Army Man, The Nice Guys, Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates and Dirty Grandpa. Depending on if you like Key & Peele's style of comedy or not, Keanu can join the list as well. But it's quite divisive due to the aforementioned reason.


but apparently
less is more when it comes to jokes.
and
I can only surmise Brits have a rather simple form of humour, which is contrary to my previous belief.

I think our shores are safe, tbh. :lol:


That's Mike.

And as mentioned in the thread where the discussion is taken from (out of context, nonetheless) someone asked which comedies that year had come out that were alright to watch. I never said Dirty Grandpa is a great comedy, but out of the ones that came out that year, it is one of the better ones. But that is an indication of how poor the selection of comedies were that year rather than an indication of how good Dirty Grandpa is, because in no way is it a "good" comedy.

In the context of the thread it makes sense. You're basically just calling someone up on English being their second language and thus explaining themselves poorly ;)
If you're bored when you're alone, you're in bad company.

firetotheworks

  • Guest
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2685 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:09:36 PM »
Well if I've done so it was unintentional. I'm convinced that you had Neil Patrick Harris as your avatar along with his catchphrase underneath it like. :lol:

Anyway, I think it's probably still fair to say that your assessment of British comedy and Viz is wide of the mark.

Offline Kaizero

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2686 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:12:22 PM »
I didn't hate the first season, so it's not impossible I did :lol: I change it far too often though.

And my issue was more how different Viz appears to be than all other British Comedy I've seen, in that I've thought of British comedy as more dry and layered than its American counterpart (for the better). Viz appears to be in your face "this is a gross thing which makes it funny". I'm not saying it's not funny, it just feels more American than British (if Americans could swear in their s***).

Admittedly, I've only ever seen what's posted on here from that magazine though. So I'm not judging the magazine itself. More the different feel of the jokes that make it on here compared to usual stuff.
If you're bored when you're alone, you're in bad company.

firetotheworks

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2687 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:20:36 PM »
Yeah, Viz has the Two Fat Slags and Sid the Sexist and all that which are in definitely in your face, but that's the same as only seeing the fart jokes in South Park and missing the layers. Top Tips, Letterbox, Profanasaurus, and the adverts are all absolute gold.

Online thomas

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2688 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:26:11 PM »
tbf the advert most often reposted on here is for Clag Gone, a bicycle with a brush wheel that you pedal to scrub away hard to reach s*** particles.

If he bases his opinion off that there's never going to be consensus :lol:

firetotheworks

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2689 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:33:26 PM »
The adverts are usually a play on the sort of adverts you get over here in TV magazines for commemorative plates and porcelain dolls etc.

e.g.

Offline Robster

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2690 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 12:39:40 PM »
:spit:
" Managers matter, but our manager is desperate for you, and his boss, to believe that they don’t. "
sackpardew.com

Offline Jimburst

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2691 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 01:26:39 PM »
I think you're impossibly wide of the mark here Kaiz, possibly because you haven't seen enough (as Tomas said) or because you don't get half the cultural references (It's full of pisstakes of 80's and 90's northern/UK culture).

It's about as un-american as you can get.
A splatterhouse turd done in the manky toilets of a discotheque, brought on my the consumption of cowies or toot.

Offline WarrenBartonCentrePartin

  • Boring James Milner
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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2692 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 01:34:39 PM »
Had a few dances off her when I've been in Blue velvet with friends. She's one of the ones who will push her fanny in your face, usually I like that but hers smells f***ing rotten. Only had dances off her because she agreed to take less money for the dances when me and my mate said we were skint.

I was a pure creep when I was a kid tbf. Used to spunk in deoderant can lids too

Online thomas

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2693 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 01:35:41 PM »
tbh I would never even have compared it to american humor, even in the bygone days where "all we know is fart jokes" was the prevailing, incorrect opinion.

it's its own thing.

Offline BottledDog

  • General Member
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2694 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 01:49:09 PM »
For all those grasping to get a handle on this, the most purile of shitrags. Here is a cracking documentary.

"Newcastle is a strange club and I don't know what else you can say about them" - Ferguson.

Offline Fugazi

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  • NE28
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2695 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 03:01:47 PM »
One of their best:

Consider winning

Offline BlueStar

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2696 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 03:04:36 PM »
Yeah, Viz has the Two Fat Slags and Sid the Sexist and all that which are in definitely in your face, but that's the same as only seeing the fart jokes in South Park and missing the layers. Top Tips, Letterbox, Profanasaurus, and the adverts are all absolute gold.

Even those comic strips though, and especially stuff like Black Bag and Mickey's Miniature Grandpa, are funnier if you grew up reading stuff like Beezer.

Offline Fugazi

  • General Member
  • NE28
Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2697 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 03:11:54 PM »
Was creased when I first read their "Kids say the funniest things about doors!" bit

Quote
"Mummy, why don't cars have numbers on their doors like houses?" my son asked me the other day, I wouldn't mind but he's 26

Quote
"Can you answer the door?" I asked my nephew the other day, "Why, what did it ask?" he cockily replied. I've never liked him, sarcastic little c***.
Consider winning

Offline sadnesstan

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Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2698 on: Thursday 25 January 2018, 03:52:39 PM »
Yeah, Viz has the Two Fat Slags and Sid the Sexist and all that which are in definitely in your face, but that's the same as only seeing the fart jokes in South Park and missing the layers. Top Tips, Letterbox, Profanasaurus, and the adverts are all absolute gold.

Even those comic strips though, and especially stuff like Black Bag and Mickey's Miniature Grandpa, are funnier if you grew up reading stuff like Beezer.

Absolutely! It's strength is definitely the one off p*ss-takes, it suffered from over-popularity of certain characters who would appear every issue with basically the same story, which is in itself a p*ss-take of comics, but it was not reflective of the inspirational genius at it's conception.

Re: Daft Confessions Thread
« Reply #2699 on: Friday 28 December 2018, 10:57:04 PM »
I have no idea what Terminator is about, beyond Arnie is a robot. Think I've seen one, maybe 2. Maybe I've only ever seen bits. Was so long ago I can't remember. And I have no particular desire to watch them.
And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make