Author Topic: Experiences of depression and anxiety  (Read 118673 times)

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Offline Jill

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2250 on: Thursday 9 January 2020, 08:20:12 AM »
Please don't ever think that the feelings you described are insignificant and shouldn't be shared in here! Particularly if there's been a noticeable change that others can see. I've always had a job, house and family/friends so on the face of it things have been fine and yet I've spent a large portion of my life feeling miserable to the point of being suicidal and I'm sure if I had killed myself it would look very much like I had a lot to live for.

Have you spoken to a doctor or are you on any medication?

Online Ketsbaia

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2251 on: Thursday 9 January 2020, 08:44:23 AM »
Thanks, Jill.

Haven't seen a doctor, I wouldnt know what to say really.

Offline Froggy

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2252 on: Thursday 9 January 2020, 08:55:53 AM »
Thanks, Jill.

Haven't seen a doctor, I wouldnt know what to say really.

Exactly what you've just said on here.

Online neesy111

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2253 on: Thursday 9 January 2020, 08:56:57 AM »
Thanks, Jill.

Haven't seen a doctor, I wouldnt know what to say really.

Exactly what you've just said on here.

This.

Offline Jill

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2254 on: Thursday 9 January 2020, 09:05:30 AM »
Honestly, if you think you'll struggle to talk about it just write it down or screenshot what you wrote and show the doctor, then answer any follow up questions to the best of your ability.

Offline Mike

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2255 on: Thursday 9 January 2020, 03:55:26 PM »
[emoji38] Yeah most of these meds have loads of potential side effects like, canny s****.

What I mean is did you stick with them, have they kicked in and/or levelled out yet etc?

Aye I'm still on them but I've no idea how I'm supposed to feel. I've been a mess upstairs my entire life so I don't really have anything to compare it with. :lol:

Offline Interpolic

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2256 on: Thursday 9 January 2020, 04:16:37 PM »
[emoji38] Yeah most of these meds have loads of potential side effects like, canny s****.

What I mean is did you stick with them, have they kicked in and/or levelled out yet etc?

Aye I'm still on them but I've no idea how I'm supposed to feel. I've been a mess upstairs my entire life so I don't really have anything to compare it with. :lol:

:lol: Fair comment tbh, I know what you mean.  My main measuring stick is how "loud" my head is.  Quieter the better.

I've been on fluoxetine about 5 weeks and they apparently take 4-6 weeks to kick in.  Definitely feeling better lately but hard to say if due to improved circumstances.  Just needs monitoring I suppose, and like I said to you before it's pretty trial and error unfortunately.  I was on 2 different meds before this and didn't end up liking or sticking with either, so it might be you end up having to try something else.

Offline ManDoon

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2257 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 01:11:28 PM »
Can’t stop f***ing things up. Got spiked with Spice from a second hand vape, reported the guy, he’s threatening me with my address, then my fiancé found I’d liked some birds pic on insta that I can’t even remember doing, (valium and beer). Drove up to causey park bridge the other week, honestly just want to end everything. I can’t take the constant stress and f*** ups, my mums ill and no one is helping me care for her. I just want to off myself tbh.
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline Mike

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2258 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 01:15:26 PM »
Honestly it sounds like the majority of your stress is coming from your vices? We've got a few people here who know how to help you work on that. :thup:

Offline ManDoon

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2259 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 01:19:31 PM »
Yeah it is, I have zero impulse control I just self destruct everything, I dunno man, I’m not seeing the point in life atm, I have easy ways out and it’s hard not to take them. I mean I don’t want to live really
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline Mike

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2260 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 01:23:36 PM »
[emoji38] I've been there, man. You owe it to yourself to try and deal with the things you can conquer before you take permanent measures. Again, @Interpolic and @Jill are incredible examples of turning everything around and you can talk to them anytime you like. They're here like everyday. :) .

Offline Jill

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2261 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 02:17:42 PM »
Fired you a PM, ManDoon. Keep reaching out and talking about how you feel either with one of us or in this thread. Can't put into words my gratitude for the folk here helping drag me through some dark times.

Offline samptime29

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2262 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 02:26:37 PM »
Sorry to hear that ManDoon, hope things improve for you.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2263 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 04:08:35 PM »
[emoji38] I've been there, man. You owe it to yourself to try and deal with the things you can conquer before you take permanent measures. Again, @Interpolic and @Jill are incredible examples of turning everything around and you can talk to them anytime you like. They're here like everyday. :) .

Apologies but I find this quite comical Mike, as I've spent much of the last few years wishing I was drunk or dead :lol: Feel like I'm coming out the other side a bit now though.  Persistence and trying an absolute ton of different things to improve matters, hopefully coming to fruition a bit now.

@ManDoon - it's not up to me or Jill or any other alchie to diagnose or assess or judge or whatever.  But it does sound like your relationship with alcohol etc is worth looking into at least.  If you're leaning on it constantly to modulate how you feel it'll only go one way.  If it's beginning to cause more problems than it solves then similar.  I used to drink to forget how much I hated myself and it worked, but eventually ended up suicidal every time I was drunk.

Jill's a far better example than me these days as she actually goes to AA meetings :lol: I'd suggest checking a meeting out personally, even if you're not sure about it.  I did that for about a year before I stopped and it was important for my understanding, for acceptance and for planting the seed.

And goes without saying you're a smashing chap so don't do anything stupid.  Try a few things first, to improve your chances of a bit of happiness.  It's scary at this stage for sure but it's do-able and will get better if you make a few changes.

Offline Mike

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2264 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 04:16:27 PM »
But you're not dead. You're a new man and a massive inspiration. [emoji38]

Offline Jill

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2265 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 04:53:51 PM »
I never would've even worked up the courage to go to a meeting if it wasn't for Polic so I refuse to accept that I'm any better at being in recovery.

Offline Mike

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2266 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 04:56:15 PM »
:lol: I was certain that was how I remembered the timeline, but wasn't sure enough.

Howay Polic you inspirational motherfucker.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2267 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 05:51:06 PM »
[emoji38] Pfffft whatevs.

Offline Yorkie

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2268 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 06:24:17 PM »
Would never have thought you were going through that sort of trouble, ManDoon. You're class, please don't do owt daft.

Offline ManDoon

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2269 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 06:27:12 PM »
[emoji38] I've been there, man. You owe it to yourself to try and deal with the things you can conquer before you take permanent measures. Again, @Interpolic and @Jill are incredible examples of turning everything around and you can talk to them anytime you like. They're here like everyday. :) .

Apologies but I find this quite comical Mike, as I've spent much of the last few years wishing I was drunk or dead :lol: Feel like I'm coming out the other side a bit now though.  Persistence and trying an absolute ton of different things to improve matters, hopefully coming to fruition a bit now.

@ManDoon - it's not up to me or Jill or any other alchie to diagnose or assess or judge or whatever.  But it does sound like your relationship with alcohol etc is worth looking into at least.  If you're leaning on it constantly to modulate how you feel it'll only go one way.  If it's beginning to cause more problems than it solves then similar.  I used to drink to forget how much I hated myself and it worked, but eventually ended up suicidal every time I was drunk.

Jill's a far better example than me these days as she actually goes to AA meetings :lol: I'd suggest checking a meeting out personally, even if you're not sure about it.  I did that for about a year before I stopped and it was important for my understanding, for acceptance and for planting the seed.

And goes without saying you're a smashing chap so don't do anything stupid.  Try a few things first, to improve your chances of a bit of happiness.  It's scary at this stage for sure but it's do-able and will get better if you make a few changes.

Thanks man, I really appreciate it. You're right drink to feel better but then all I do is feel way worse about myself at the time, and the next day is torture. Need to get it in check asap.
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline ManDoon

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2270 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 06:27:50 PM »
Would never have thought you were going through that sort of trouble, ManDoon. You're class, please don't do owt daft.

Mastered the art of appearing fine on the outside  :lol: shouldn't laugh, but thanks man I appreciate it
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline Interpolic

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2271 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 07:03:10 PM »


[emoji38] I've been there, man. You owe it to yourself to try and deal with the things you can conquer before you take permanent measures. Again, @Interpolic and @Jill are incredible examples of turning everything around and you can talk to them anytime you like. They're here like everyday. :) .

Apologies but I find this quite comical Mike, as I've spent much of the last few years wishing I was drunk or dead [emoji38] Feel like I'm coming out the other side a bit now though.  Persistence and trying an absolute ton of different things to improve matters, hopefully coming to fruition a bit now.

@ManDoon - it's not up to me or Jill or any other alchie to diagnose or assess or judge or whatever.  But it does sound like your relationship with alcohol etc is worth looking into at least.  If you're leaning on it constantly to modulate how you feel it'll only go one way.  If it's beginning to cause more problems than it solves then similar.  I used to drink to forget how much I hated myself and it worked, but eventually ended up suicidal every time I was drunk.

Jill's a far better example than me these days as she actually goes to AA meetings [emoji38] I'd suggest checking a meeting out personally, even if you're not sure about it.  I did that for about a year before I stopped and it was important for my understanding, for acceptance and for planting the seed.

And goes without saying you're a smashing chap so don't do anything stupid.  Try a few things first, to improve your chances of a bit of happiness.  It's scary at this stage for sure but it's do-able and will get better if you make a few changes.

Thanks man, I really appreciate it. You're right drink to feel better but then all I do is feel way worse about myself at the time, and the next day is torture. Need to get it in check asap.

You'll not wanna hear this but that and a few other things you've said in the past sound very familiar to me tbh. Sounds like alcohol has been a solution for a long time and it's stopped working. Negatives massively outweigh the positives now. Always happens when doing it to excess unfortunately. I managed about 15 years hammering it almost hassle free then overnight it sent me mental and got scary.

If your drinking is heavy and regular then when you're ready you'll need to make sure if you stop then you stop safely. Really dangerous just stopping out of nowhere if that's the situation. It's so worth it though as there's nowt as bleak as being drunk or hungover once you've hit that wall.

Small steps first anyway though, check out a meeting and chat to Jill. Start doing some reading about it. Listen to AA speaker tapes. Don't put pressure on it, just start planting the seed in your mind and working out what the best way forward is for you.

All the best man and keep reaching out.

Offline morla84

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2272 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 07:11:23 PM »
Haven't smoked in more than three weeks and drank in over two weeks, so despite a very stressful period at work I haven't been feeling quite so anxious over the past couple of weeks. Hopefully can keep this going

Offline ManDoon

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2273 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 07:20:57 PM »


[emoji38] I've been there, man. You owe it to yourself to try and deal with the things you can conquer before you take permanent measures. Again, @Interpolic and @Jill are incredible examples of turning everything around and you can talk to them anytime you like. They're here like everyday. :) .

Apologies but I find this quite comical Mike, as I've spent much of the last few years wishing I was drunk or dead [emoji38] Feel like I'm coming out the other side a bit now though.  Persistence and trying an absolute ton of different things to improve matters, hopefully coming to fruition a bit now.

@ManDoon - it's not up to me or Jill or any other alchie to diagnose or assess or judge or whatever.  But it does sound like your relationship with alcohol etc is worth looking into at least.  If you're leaning on it constantly to modulate how you feel it'll only go one way.  If it's beginning to cause more problems than it solves then similar.  I used to drink to forget how much I hated myself and it worked, but eventually ended up suicidal every time I was drunk.

Jill's a far better example than me these days as she actually goes to AA meetings [emoji38] I'd suggest checking a meeting out personally, even if you're not sure about it.  I did that for about a year before I stopped and it was important for my understanding, for acceptance and for planting the seed.

And goes without saying you're a smashing chap so don't do anything stupid.  Try a few things first, to improve your chances of a bit of happiness.  It's scary at this stage for sure but it's do-able and will get better if you make a few changes.

Thanks man, I really appreciate it. You're right drink to feel better but then all I do is feel way worse about myself at the time, and the next day is torture. Need to get it in check asap.

You'll not wanna hear this but that and a few other things you've said in the past sound very familiar to me tbh. Sounds like alcohol has been a solution for a long time and it's stopped working. Negatives massively outweigh the positives now. Always happens when doing it to excess unfortunately. I managed about 15 years hammering it almost hassle free then overnight it sent me mental and got scary.

If your drinking is heavy and regular then when you're ready you'll need to make sure if you stop then you stop safely. Really dangerous just stopping out of nowhere if that's the situation. It's so worth it though as there's nowt as bleak as being drunk or hungover once you've hit that wall.

Small steps first anyway though, check out a meeting and chat to Jill. Start doing some reading about it. Listen to AA speaker tapes. Don't put pressure on it, just start planting the seed in your mind and working out what the best way forward is for you.

All the best man and keep reaching out.

It makes me feel better to know someone has come through the other side and feels the same as me. I used to be totally fine, and I never craved drink really, but now I crave it near enough every night, even though it makes me feel s*** and i do completely ridiculous stuff, recently being trying to fight everyone in the bigg market, for no reason, embarrassing and pathetic. Thanks for the advice man, gonna start laying foundations to get better
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline HTT

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2274 on: Thursday 16 January 2020, 09:01:36 PM »
Would never have thought you were going through that sort of trouble, ManDoon. You're class, please don't do owt daft.

This!
Wee Hughie - the greatest centre-forward Newcastle United ever had