Author Topic: Experiences of depression and anxiety  (Read 154242 times)

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Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2800 on: Sunday 11 October 2020, 04:59:33 PM »
Wey, here's a thread I never thought I'd end up posting about myself in. :lol:

The usual feelings, emptiness, pointlessness, can't think straight, can't make decisions, can't eat, can't sleep, don't enjoy anything, just not interested in anything, so I'm f***ing up at work. Only realised Friday night those are classic symptoms of depression. I'm gonna call my GP tomorrow and hope they'll see me.

Can they sack me for this? They're utter c***s and would if they could.

Probably depends, where do you work and what do you do? If they are a decent employer and value you they’d show some support or make some adjustments to help for a period. If their not which you seem to suggest then they’ll probably try to be seen to tick a few boxes and go through whatever their disciplinary procedure is. Maybe a change of job could be the answer to your problems anyway?



Thanks, mate, change of job ain't an option given my age. Work in financial services, pensions admin and stuff like that now. Yeah, disciplinary is gonna be the way it goes I think. This is completely debilitating and if I can't do my job any more they're gonna eat me alive. :thup:

Change of career might be hard but not impossible when older. Simple change of job far more achievable though I understand if it’s the possible working from home element that you are struggling with it wouldn’t make as much of a change as a different career.

Hope things get better for you. I’m finding with living alone that home working is tough, especially with further restrictions possibly incoming and the dark nights drawing closer. Hang in :thup:

PS I guess RUSH coming to an end didn’t help you either :lol:

Yeah. :lol: Thanks for reminding me of Rush. I'll tough it out if I can. :thup:
:) As you were.

Offline Consortium of one

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2801 on: Wednesday 14 October 2020, 06:53:40 PM »
Where do I start my head is spinning.

My mom is in assisted living and Covid has taken a toll on her.  She's reclusive and just getting her to assisted living was difficult.  We did, about a year ago, and she was actually making progress, making friends to chat with at meals before she went back into her self imposed bubble.  Covid meant no visitors, no more community meals so like so many seniors in care she declined mentally.  Twice my wife and I tried to move in with her to help her and she made it so difficult we never tried again.  Now, she cant care for herself, shes been found on the floor, spent 10 days in the hospital and now has hospice care with her back at the assisted living facility.  We're even paying for 12 hour home aide.  It's all on me as my 3 sisters are all far away. One in France asks a lot of questions but cant step in to help.  One in SanFrancisco cant communicate because her phone and computer has been hacked and the one in North Carolina admittedly gets overstressed.  I've constantly on the phone trying to get her care worked out with 4 different agencies, all of whom tell me different things Then there's my wife  whos only function is to stir the pot.  To top it off, before this all happened my wife and I moved out of the  city where my mom was to a quiet town about an hour away which leads to my next issue...

We downsized selling the home we owned jointly with my cousin.  His daughter and her drunk boyfriend lived below.  The only way we got him out was that he assaulted her for the dozenth time over the last 10 years and the only way we got her out was to threaten her to leave.  Our  old house needs a lot of work but thanks to covid we got offered far more than expected.  Buuuuuuttttt ive had to go through a bunch of inspections, there are title issues that have to be resolved and for the third time the closing is delayed.  I borrowed money to make improvements, borrowed from my IRA which I cannot yet pay back so I'll be penalized. Have bought furniture and other essentials.  My credit is maxed out, my savings is just about gone and I have a new mortgage and other fees due on the 1st.  Again, just like with my mom I'm dealing with people who don't have answers so I sit and wait.

I picked the wrong time to cut down on my Lexapro and there are no AA meetings to go to.  The online meetings suck but I do have a sponsor.  I've had my last meeting with my therapist before the s*** hit the fan and I haven't gotten a new one yet. I'm keeping my cool but I know myself...if I see someone go bat s*** crazy (for whatever) I feel it entitles me to go bat s*** crazy and I leave smoking wreckage in my wake.  Hopefully if I do go nuclear it wont be at work, heh.

Anyways thanks for listening even if its tl;dr

Offline Jill

  • Don't really care what.
  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2802 on: Wednesday 14 October 2020, 07:22:49 PM »
Ah sorry to hear you've been struggling. I really like the online AA meetings to be honest. Haven't felt any desire to go to any physical ones since they reopened as I go to far more and varied meetings online. Keep close to your sponsor and support network and feel free to chat to me if you want an AA perspective. Sometimes I struggle to differentiate between my alcoholism and other mental health issues which frustrates me as if it's alcoholism I can get to the bottom of it via the steps but if it's bog standard depression and anxiety there isn't a cause.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2803 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:14:56 PM »
:lol: I've completely lost the motivation to do anything at all. I feel like I'm regressing big time. Currently in my gym gear splayed out on my bed bullshitting on N-O. Just like old times. f***'s sake. Can't even enjoy films.

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2804 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:19:16 PM »
:lol: I've completely lost the motivation to do anything at all. I feel like I'm regressing big time. Currently in my gym gear splayed out on my bed bullshitting on N-O. Just like old times. f***'s sake. Can't even enjoy films.

Feel you, man. f*** football, f*** comedy, f*** everything.
:) As you were.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2805 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:23:17 PM »
:lol: Room on the bed, sted. f***ing world.

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2806 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:26:06 PM »
Fuckin weirdo :lol: Got my own bed, thanks.
:) As you were.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2807 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:41:24 PM »
[emoji38]

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2808 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:44:07 PM »
Hey, man, if I didn't know you were a predator I'd be right there. Human interaction helps.

:rose:
:) As you were.

Online Tomato Deuce

  • Book Wanker
  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2809 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:44:32 PM »
:lol:

Online Tomato Deuce

  • Book Wanker
  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2810 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:48:13 PM »
Where do I start my head is spinning.

My mom is in assisted living and Covid has taken a toll on her.  She's reclusive and just getting her to assisted living was difficult.  We did, about a year ago, and she was actually making progress, making friends to chat with at meals before she went back into her self imposed bubble.  Covid meant no visitors, no more community meals so like so many seniors in care she declined mentally.  Twice my wife and I tried to move in with her to help her and she made it so difficult we never tried again.  Now, she cant care for herself, shes been found on the floor, spent 10 days in the hospital and now has hospice care with her back at the assisted living facility.  We're even paying for 12 hour home aide.  It's all on me as my 3 sisters are all far away. One in France asks a lot of questions but cant step in to help.  One in SanFrancisco cant communicate because her phone and computer has been hacked and the one in North Carolina admittedly gets overstressed.  I've constantly on the phone trying to get her care worked out with 4 different agencies, all of whom tell me different things Then there's my wife  whos only function is to stir the pot.  To top it off, before this all happened my wife and I moved out of the  city where my mom was to a quiet town about an hour away which leads to my next issue...

We downsized selling the home we owned jointly with my cousin.  His daughter and her drunk boyfriend lived below.  The only way we got him out was that he assaulted her for the dozenth time over the last 10 years and the only way we got her out was to threaten her to leave.  Our  old house needs a lot of work but thanks to covid we got offered far more than expected.  Buuuuuuttttt ive had to go through a bunch of inspections, there are title issues that have to be resolved and for the third time the closing is delayed.  I borrowed money to make improvements, borrowed from my IRA which I cannot yet pay back so I'll be penalized. Have bought furniture and other essentials.  My credit is maxed out, my savings is just about gone and I have a new mortgage and other fees due on the 1st.  Again, just like with my mom I'm dealing with people who don't have answers so I sit and wait.

I picked the wrong time to cut down on my Lexapro and there are no AA meetings to go to.  The online meetings suck but I do have a sponsor.  I've had my last meeting with my therapist before the s*** hit the fan and I haven't gotten a new one yet. I'm keeping my cool but I know myself...if I see someone go bat s*** crazy (for whatever) I feel it entitles me to go bat s*** crazy and I leave smoking wreckage in my wake.  Hopefully if I do go nuclvear it wont be at work, heh.

Anyways thanks for listening even if its tl;dr

This thread is a tl;dr-free zone. I’m sorry that you’ve had to shoulder such a heavy burden mostly by yourself. Reminds me of my ma and her dad, my grandad. 2/3 of her brothers are completely out the picture and her other brother will pop in once in a blue moon. It’s emotionally exhausting. Add financial worries on top and I can only imagine how you feel.

Online Interpolic

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  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2811 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:50:24 PM »
[emoji38] I've completely lost the motivation to do anything at all. I feel like I'm regressing big time. Currently in my gym gear splayed out on my bed bullshitting on N-O. Just like old times. f***'s sake. Can't even enjoy films.
How long for? You not being a bit harsh on yourself? Peaks and troughs, man.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2812 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:55:29 PM »
Hey, man, if I didn't know you were a predator I'd be right there. Human interaction helps.

:rose:
[emoji38] iirc earlier in the thread I pulled. Guess the voucher expired.

IP: couple weeks. Since august, iyam.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2813 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 04:56:42 PM »
FWIW, I've made it to the gym and currently want to die for far more relatable reasons. :thup:

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2814 on: Thursday 15 October 2020, 08:22:36 PM »
Hey, man, if I didn't know you were a predator I'd be right there. Human interaction helps.

:rose:
[emoji38] iirc earlier in the thread I pulled. Guess the voucher expired.

IP: couple weeks. Since august, iyam.

:lol: When I was vulnerable? Must be how I know, you absolute monster.

You know how you said a bit back it's been since you were 9? Too much time on my hands these days, think that's about when it started for me too. Off and on ever since, years in between sometimes. Mrs n didn't have a clue and I've been with her 35 years, she said "f*** off you lazy prick, you just don't want to go to work." Guessing they'll have the same reaction at work, we can be so good at hiding it. Oh well. :(
:) As you were.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2815 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 02:35:44 PM »
:lol: It's 9 am and I've been awake seven hours already. I'm absolutely f***ed. Iron therapy because I had four f***ing cannolis last night.

Online Shay's Given Tim Flowers

  • General Member
  • Stephen f***ing Hawkinson
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2816 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 02:40:08 PM »
Did the fourth still actually taste good?

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2817 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 02:43:51 PM »
:lol: Nothing tastes good atm, tbf. I don't even know why I was doing it.

Online Shay's Given Tim Flowers

  • General Member
  • Stephen f***ing Hawkinson
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2818 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 02:44:52 PM »
 :lol:

If you're not enjoying Cannoli things must be bad.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2819 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 02:46:55 PM »
:lol: Right? Cannoli's are f***ing awesome and it was like ashes in my mouth. f***'s sake.

Offline reefatoon

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2820 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 02:51:21 PM »
:lol: It's 9 am and I've been awake seven hours already. I'm absolutely f***ed. Iron therapy because I had four f***ing cannolis last night.

You need to blame @Si and that hideous picture for that.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2821 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 02:53:11 PM »
[emoji38] Checks out.

Offline Si

  • General Member
  • I dont handle change well.
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2822 on: Friday 16 October 2020, 03:14:55 PM »
[emoji38] Checks out.



Seriously though hope you're ok man.
Bearings Straight!

Online Optimistic Nut

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2823 on: Sunday 18 October 2020, 11:50:06 PM »
Struggling tonight and can’t put my finger on it. Just feel flat and like I’m going to cry for no reason.
?s=21

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2824 on: Sunday 18 October 2020, 11:58:44 PM »
Let it out, tbh. Crying is the s***.