Author Topic: Experiences of depression and anxiety  (Read 141503 times)

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Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2675 on: Tuesday 9 June 2020, 03:38:03 PM »
Just had to send wife to a&e in an ambulance as she started hemorrhaging and they wouldnt let me go with her. Never ending this crap.

s***, man, hope she's OK. We're all with you, let us know.
:) As you were.

Offline Si

  • General Member
  • I dont handle change well.
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2676 on: Tuesday 9 June 2020, 04:11:29 PM »


Just had to send wife to a&e in an ambulance as she started hemorrhaging and they wouldnt let me go with her. Never ending this crap.

s***, man, hope she's OK. We're all with you, let us know.

Aye all thinking of you mate.
Bearings Straight!

Offline loki679

  • General Member
  • 中国
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2677 on: Tuesday 9 June 2020, 04:31:02 PM »
Bloody hell, hope she's alright.
Comfy chairs, beer, and doom. Humanity's future is an early 90s LAN party.

Offline Gorilla

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2678 on: Tuesday 9 June 2020, 05:19:05 PM »
Just waiting to hear, looks like its calming down but they are going to give her a blood transfusion.  My luck at the minute is f***ed.

Offline ElDiablo

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2679 on: Tuesday 9 June 2020, 05:47:57 PM »


Just had to send wife to a&e in an ambulance as she started hemorrhaging and they wouldnt let me go with her. Never ending this crap.

s***, man, hope she's OK. We're all with you, let us know.

Aye all thinking of you mate.

Offline Shay's Given Tim Flowers

  • General Member
  • Stephen f***ing Hawkinson
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2680 on: Tuesday 9 June 2020, 05:56:51 PM »
Jesus Gorilla, last thing you need. Hope all are ok.

Offline Gorilla

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2681 on: Tuesday 9 June 2020, 06:28:23 PM »
Thanks for the kinds words everyone.  It was bad enough when we found out but I don't think it could have gone any f***ing worse.  Hopefully this is the end of our bad luck over the last few months.

We do however have a beautiful baby who is awesome, she really is,  she is happy all of the time.  She literally never cries unless she hurts herself, she can entertain herself for a couple of hours in her playpen but prefers you to play with her.  She also laughs alot when you are playing with her.  We are very lucky for that as her sisters kid who is 3 months older just whinges all of the time.

Offline ManDoon

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2682 on: Saturday 13 June 2020, 06:18:32 PM »
Think me and my bird are done, so I' taking kratom, valium and beer to numb myself. Risky I know but not arsed
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline AyeDubbleYoo

  • General Member
  • Ian W
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2683 on: Saturday 13 June 2020, 06:21:56 PM »
What happened man?

Offline Dokko

  • TT
  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2684 on: Saturday 13 June 2020, 06:23:12 PM »
Think me and my bird are done, so I' taking kratom, valium and beer to numb myself. Risky I know but not arsed

Well i went to send you an IM, but looks like you've blocked me  :lol:

Offline ManDoon

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2685 on: Saturday 13 June 2020, 06:24:21 PM »
Just proper immature stuff, it's embarassing to type but it culminated in here lad on facecbook to p*ss me off (i know). Honestly i know I have my responsibilties here but Im so tempted to board a flight to ibiza a and nver look back. My brother and sister don't do s*** to look after mum its all on me, im crumbling with the stress. I drove my car into a tree the other week. Cost me like 500 to repair, money I don't have.
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline Skeletor

  • General Member
  • I joined Newcastle before they were mainstream
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2686 on: Saturday 13 June 2020, 06:27:40 PM »
I've found reducing the amount of news I'm watching/taking in has improved my mood a lot this week. Before lockdown I never used to watch much news, but I had got into the habit of always having it on, probably just to have another voice around the house. However there's no doubt it's a constant negative cycle, especially with the current tunnel vision trend of one topic and repeating it throughout the 24 hour cycle.

I just wish it wasn't so hard to quit social media. Ordinarily I think I could probably do it, but at the moment with COVID-19 and social distancing I'd start to feel really isolated without any real contact with people.
'Rock over London, Rock on Chicago! Wheaties: breakfast of champions.'

Offline Jill

  • Don't really care what.
  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2687 on: Sunday 28 June 2020, 11:14:44 AM »
I had really bad PMS yesterday and it resulted in me seriously considering suicide. I had a nap instead and thankfully I feel a bit better today but I haven't felt such anger and self-loathing in years, can't believe I used to feel like that most days for a long time.

Offline Dokko

  • TT
  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2688 on: Monday 29 June 2020, 09:12:09 AM »
I had really bad PMS yesterday and it resulted in me seriously considering suicide. I had a nap instead and thankfully I feel a bit better today but I haven't felt such anger and self-loathing in years, can't believe I used to feel like that most days for a long time.

Sorry to hear that, Jill. I think that’s a great way of looking at it mind, that you felt like that every day and now it’s just a one off. When it’s every day it feels like it’s never going to end, never going to change without drastic action and that in itself just makes it worse, but you got off the roundabout and I’m hoping still on the way back up. :)

Offline joeyt

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  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2689 on: Sunday 26 July 2020, 02:38:38 PM »
https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/healthy-at-home/mental-health/headspace-free-meditation-subscription-to-unemployed-or-furloughed-a4473316.html

Just an FYI for anyone unemployed or furloughed in the UK (and in the US too I think), Headspace are offering a year's free subscription

Offline Kaizero

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2690 on: Monday 27 July 2020, 08:19:18 AM »
How does one get over heartbreak and feeling like you'll never find that level of happiness with someone again? Or get rid of the feeling you've wasted two and a half years, the feeling you still love them even though they didn't even have the decency to properly say goodbye, just a message that they can't be arsed anymore and them essentially ghosting you from that point onward?

All of that on top of my general anxiety, depression and feeling of hopelessness for trying to do what I want to do in this life has sapped me of all motivation. On one hand I want to take the easy way out, on the other I want to go to a random town, get a dead end nine to five where I can have a day consisting of waking up, going to work, eating dinner, watching TV and going to bed all for it to repeat itself - no pressure to impress everyone who's had faith in you, no pressure to make anything of myself. I didn't even know I wanted to have a family until we had a scare earlier this year, but now I know that might be my main ambition in life after all, and that opportunity is gone as well. I've never had a proper relationship before this, and by god, I doubt this was a normal one for anyone outside looking in, but I was alive. I found motivation in her, she made me more creative, her belief and support in me kept me going even on my darkest days. Now that is gone, and I'm alone, and I'm struggling to remain motivated to do my projects - a lifetime in debt if I don't be damned. I know if we were still together, this week and the next would have been work 24/7 to ensure we could start filming on September 21st. I was i the process of sending offers to actors, scouting and locking locations, assembling crew. I can barely look at the computer or phone now without breaking.

I keep thinking it's all my fault as well. In the beginning, we had the most trust for each other I've ever experienced in my life. She had never trusted anyone as much as me, and she'd told me all about her bad experiences in the past. I knew I was better than that, and I wanted to be better than that. Yet I still ended up lying. I thought it wasn't really a lie, as I was going to sort it out and she'd never have to know there was a point in time the gig I said she had was a gig she actually hadn't. Naturally she found out just before I had made it a reality, and her world broke and her view of me never got repaired even though she gave it her all (as I thought at least). But in hindsight, I don't understand how it could be used to win every discussion/argument and us to still be healthy. Like, yes, she chose to spend time with me over her friends and she is no longer as close with them, as some have gotten relationships of their own, some are working full time jobs (she was 20 when we met), it's called life - yet the loss of contact was my fault, 'cause I lied to her that on time. Nothing I said after was true in her eyes either, she would constantly check up on every last thing I said, even if it objectively was a weird thing to do - you don't call the swimwear line that's booked you for a job to ask if the offer was real or not.

Either way, I know that no matter how wrongly she might have used what I had done against me for the better part of a year, we were good together. We lifted each other up and believed in each other. There's obviously two and half years of experiences not packed into the above paragraph, but still. I miss her. I miss my motivation. I miss the life I was working towards. I miss the belief that no matter how dark the night, with her, there was always a brighter day. I don't want to be a part of this earth anymore. She said sh could never belive I loved her because I had lied to her, so what if I was lying about this as well. I know this is hyperbole, and I've been trying to drink/worse than drink myself to death all weekend yet failed, but we'd both be better off if I was gone. I could find peace, and she could know I never lied about loving her and move on with her life.

I might delete this message later when I feel bad about talking about my life to "stranger"s. But if anyone wants to talk to me, please, PM me. I would really appreciate it. I've essentially nobody to talk to anymore.
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.

Offline leffe186

  • General Member
  • Akron, Ohio
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2691 on: Monday 27 July 2020, 10:09:33 AM »
PM’d you man. Stay safe.
Obviously, I'm speaking of a hypothetical world in which there is a greater club than Tottenham.

Offline Froggy

  • Ok at Rocket League
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  • Faster than a cannonball
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2692 on: Monday 27 July 2020, 05:43:03 PM »
As I have always said to you Tom in private messages, I am available 24/7 for you to talk unless I am asleep. I'm not entirely sure how much help I can be but I have experience of relationships both good and bad.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #2693 on: Monday 27 July 2020, 07:17:55 PM »
Got my number, man. Call whenever.