Not depression, but suffered with Health Anxiety and panic disorders since I was about 18, the year my Dad died.
Horrible and feel very lonely at times, even with everyone rallying around me.
On the right track now though, and only have the occasional lapse every now and then. Counselling helped. Never took the meds they gave me, always thought it was best to talk everything though.
weird, it's my first post on here. I am very similar. Lost my dad nearly 5 years ago. About 3 years after his death i started getting panic attacks. I had basiclly turned in on myself in terms of confidence etc since he died but I didnt realise it. Blocked off everything emotionally.
Panic attacks made me get help, and actually stopped me getting worse. I went to a councilor and they were great. I avoided the medicine but I only advise avoiding that if you think you can. THere is nothing wrong with using the crutch before you walk without one.
So Im much better these days. Still have negative thinking patterns but it's getting back to normall.
What was massive for me was being more in touch with my friends and family, dont be afraid to tell people you enjoy their company and appreciate being mates. I started benig more outgoing *emotionally* (i was always the outgoing type, and confident in appearance), but i would rarely let on when i was sad, and i didnt cry once when my dad died....that was a clear sign. I cry now when i think of him and it feels great to do it, nearly 5 years after I am only now letting my emotions have their way every so often.
Panic attacks scared the s*** out of me, before them I thought I was 100% sound mentally and could overcome any obstacle in my life. Then bang, cant controll this s***.... it's scary, like proper scary.
Anyway, it can be overcome, ultimately I feel I lost confidence in who I was, because I blocked out my emotions after the death of my dad (coupled with being screwed over straight after this by a girl i 'loved'), and began to put myself down for various reasons. I was too negative about myself. Strengthening relationships with my mam, and brothers, friends and importantly myself (all through the help of counseling) have made the world of difference. It's like I was becoming disconnected from the people around me, I had to purposely rebuild al that, but it worked.
One last thing, if you go to a counsellor do not be afraid to talk about *anything* that may be bothering you, no matter what it is - get it off your chest. Avoid s*** councellors, if they are being condescending or crappy to you, get a different one. THere are s*** ones out there, the right one makes a huge difference, it's all about trust and confidence in their advice.
If anyone is suffering from panic attacks, you can get over it and become a happy person again, it's tough, it takes time and effort, but completely and 100% possible :P
