Author Topic: Experiences of depression and anxiety  (Read 113143 times)

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Offline cubaricho

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1900 on: Thursday 1 August 2019, 07:59:57 PM »
After years of talking about it, and not doing it, I finally have my first therapy session next week. Stoked doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling about it. Can't wait. I can throw a copy of the intake form up here if anyone is interested in the kinds of questions you get asked going into therapy. Might take some of the fear of making that single phone call away or maybe give you some questions to think about on your own and contemplate if you're wanting to go to get into therapy.
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Offline gbandit

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1901 on: Thursday 1 August 2019, 08:12:52 PM »
Really dunno if I can stick this out, for like four hours after every dose my muscles are spasming and I'm totally spinning out.
The first ten days are awful. People tend to get different side effects but they often revolve around feeling wired, highly anxious and extremely self-aware to uncomfortable physical sensations. Things should start evening out after a week but won’t properly taper off until another few weeks which is when you should see some positive impact. If you can stick it out to the two week mark it would be useful but if it’s really intolerable you can always speak to your GP and request a different antidepressant. It’s often the case that a different antidepressant has a different impact or less side effects

Offline Ian W

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1902 on: Thursday 1 August 2019, 11:05:26 PM »
After years of talking about it, and not doing it, I finally have my first therapy session next week. Stoked doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling about it. Can't wait. I can throw a copy of the intake form up here if anyone is interested in the kinds of questions you get asked going into therapy. Might take some of the fear of making that single phone call away or maybe give you some questions to think about on your own and contemplate if you're wanting to go to get into therapy.

Would definitely be interested in that.

Offline ElDiablo

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1903 on: Thursday 1 August 2019, 11:55:50 PM »
I might be going back to speak to someone after a decent amount of time just battling through a rut and sticking it out. Had counselling in various forms off and on since i was around 13 (just turned 29(!)) and been on meds for like 90% of that. Basically at this point I've worked out what's wrong and what I can do to keep it at bay, but sometimes it's a struggle to even be bothered to do it. That's the strange part. Sometimes it's easy to drop back into familiar patterns, just because that's where I've been most of the time - I've learned to live with it.

Hoping going over things with someone will help me kick back into a good cycle. I actually do miss the deep chats about things with a perceptive therapist. It's good just for that and having little rants. :lol:

Offline BlueStar

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1904 on: Friday 2 August 2019, 03:57:08 PM »
Really dunno if I can stick this out, for like four hours after every dose my muscles are spasming and I'm totally spinning out.
The first ten days are awful. People tend to get different side effects but they often revolve around feeling wired, highly anxious and extremely self-aware to uncomfortable physical sensations. Things should start evening out after a week but won’t properly taper off until another few weeks which is when you should see some positive impact. If you can stick it out to the two week mark it would be useful but if it’s really intolerable you can always speak to your GP and request a different antidepressant. It’s often the case that a different antidepressant has a different impact or less side effects

Yeah, they've said it doesn't sound like I can tolerate it and given me Sertraline for when it's out of my system.  Still not quite right, and still not convinced it's actually psychological.

Offline cubaricho

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1905 on: Wednesday 7 August 2019, 11:27:54 PM »
After years of talking about it, and not doing it, I finally have my first therapy session next week. Stoked doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling about it. Can't wait. I can throw a copy of the intake form up here if anyone is interested in the kinds of questions you get asked going into therapy. Might take some of the fear of making that single phone call away or maybe give you some questions to think about on your own and contemplate if you're wanting to go to get into therapy.

Would definitely be interested in that.

I'll send you the PDF over on Facebook dude!


Went to my first session yesterday and damn if it wasn't amazing. I'm so excited to really get into it. It feels like a huge weight is off my shoulders and I'm excited to see where it takes me. Highly recommended for anyone who's been thinking about it for years. Make that one phone call, or send that one email, and make it happen. It's a game changer in such a positive way.
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Offline ElDiablo

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1906 on: Wednesday 7 August 2019, 11:49:35 PM »
:thup: Glad to hear it. Also had my first session in years today, good to get a few things off my chest.

Offline Skeletor

  • General Member
  • I joined Newcastle before they were mainstream
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1907 on: Thursday 8 August 2019, 08:00:52 PM »
I've had a difficult time explaining how I've been feeling to people lately. I got back from holiday in Denver about a month ago and at first I was just going through the usual post-holiday blues but it appears to have developed into something else. I've come back and realised how lonely I feel here in the South East of England. I have friends and family but I've been feeling cold to it all. Usually I just work and don't do a lot else. I have my regular job and I'm also a Special Constable. On the days I do have to myself I just kinda sit around and can't be arsed to do anything, even just play video games. Mostly I just listen to music for most of the day.

I'm mostly attracted to American men and most of the guys I've dated in any serious way have all been Americans. When I was in Denver I was way more social and yet I didn't know anyone who lived there. I haven't been to a gay bar in years here in the UK but when I was out there I was there on my first weekend mingling with people. I also did loads of things whilst I was out there: Hiking, white water rafting, the zoo, Broncos stadium tour, ride-a-long with the Denver PD and we got on so well that one of them took me out to a members only shooting range to shoot some guns (first time I've ever done that). As soon as I was back it was back to feeling lethargic and isolating myself away again.

I've been feeling very detached from everything. I've touched on it before in other threads but I don't really feel very European. I feel more affinity with Americans. I look at how Europe is developing and essentially merging and I don't identify with it at all. It definitely doesn't help when I log on Facebook and all I see are Trump and Brexit posts. Constantly bombarded with friends posting about how people like me who voted for Brexit are scum, racist, stupid lowest form of life etc. Now more than ever I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I often wish I could just move across the pond. I'm pretty sure I'd settle into a relationship with someone and a lot of my loneliness and anxiety with everything would just disappear.

Everyone has been telling me it's just a post-holiday thing and I'll get over it soon. Actually it's all been very condescending. Just like all the "man up" rubbish. To be honest for about 6 years now I've started to feel very differently about life and I'm a very different person. I think this detachment is only going to continue to get worse and don't really know what to do. I know that I've started feeling way more depressed and anxious since I stopped going to counselling a year ago.

This is all very muddled I guess but I haven't really been able to map my thoughts into a coherent structure yet. Probably because I don't fully understand what it is I'm feeling or longing for.
'Rock over London, Rock on Chicago! Wheaties: breakfast of champions.'

Offline Ian W

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1908 on: Thursday 8 August 2019, 08:13:37 PM »
Totally identify with the not feeling you belong in the UK right now, I definitely don’t. But then again America has very similar problems politically.

The US definitely seems a more confident culture though, more outgoing and stuff. British culture is to cripple yourself with self doubt and shy away. Definitely feel the difference when you spend any time over there.
« Last Edit: Thursday 8 August 2019, 08:23:38 PM by Ian W »

Offline Skeletor

  • General Member
  • I joined Newcastle before they were mainstream
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1909 on: Thursday 8 August 2019, 08:16:44 PM »
Totally identify with the not feeling you belong in the UK right now, I definitely don’t. But then again America has very similar problems politically.

The US definitely seems a more confident culture though, more outgoing and stuff. British culture is to cripple yourself with self doubt and shy away. Definitely feel the difference when you spend any time over there.

That's a very good way of putting it. I feel more at ease there and this probably is a big factor for that.
'Rock over London, Rock on Chicago! Wheaties: breakfast of champions.'

Offline Ian W

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1910 on: Thursday 8 August 2019, 08:25:07 PM »
That’s what I’ve noticed about how people behave out on nights out etc, and also day to day around town. More positive, more self confident, even though not completely justified it’s nice to see :lol:

Where do you live in the south east?

Offline Skeletor

  • General Member
  • I joined Newcastle before they were mainstream
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1911 on: Thursday 8 August 2019, 08:26:21 PM »
That’s what I’ve noticed about how people behave out on nights out etc, and also day to day around town. More positive, more self confident, even though not completely justified it’s nice to see :lol:

Where do you live in the south east?

Hemel Hempstead. Home of the magic roundabout.
'Rock over London, Rock on Chicago! Wheaties: breakfast of champions.'

Offline samptime29

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1912 on: Saturday 24 August 2019, 02:58:03 PM »
I've never really been an anxious person or depressed in my life (I'm 34) but been feeling horrendous last few weeks.

Feels like it's come from nowhere. Anxious, jittery, mind racing. Struggling to be motivated at work.

Finding it difficult to be calm or relaxed. I'm constantly "on" ATM.

Offline Mike

  • General Member
  • *cocaine scream*
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1913 on: Saturday 24 August 2019, 05:43:50 PM »
After years of talking about it, and not doing it, I finally have my first therapy session next week. Stoked doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling about it. Can't wait. I can throw a copy of the intake form up here if anyone is interested in the kinds of questions you get asked going into therapy. Might take some of the fear of making that single phone call away or maybe give you some questions to think about on your own and contemplate if you're wanting to go to get into therapy.

:lol: Had my first sesh today. Was alright. Revealed far more than I ever expected to. She saw immediately I was hiding s*** and then we just chopped it up for an hour.

Offline Yorkie

  • General Member
  • C'mTA
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1914 on: Saturday 24 August 2019, 06:12:52 PM »
I've never really been an anxious person or depressed in my life (I'm 34) but been feeling horrendous last few weeks.

Feels like it's come from nowhere. Anxious, jittery, mind racing. Struggling to be motivated at work.

Finding it difficult to be calm or relaxed. I'm constantly "on" ATM.


Might be absolutely useless advice but, if you consume it a lot, cut out caffeine for a bit. That's made a difference to me when I've had the jitters.

Offline samptime29

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1915 on: Sunday 25 August 2019, 10:42:37 AM »
I've never really been an anxious person or depressed in my life (I'm 34) but been feeling horrendous last few weeks.

Feels like it's come from nowhere. Anxious, jittery, mind racing. Struggling to be motivated at work.

Finding it difficult to be calm or relaxed. I'm constantly "on" ATM.


Might be absolutely useless advice but, if you consume it a lot, cut out caffeine for a bit. That's made a difference to me when I've had the jitters.

Will give it a shot mate thanks.

Offline mrmojorisin75

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1916 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 08:13:49 AM »
I've had a difficult time explaining how I've been feeling to people lately. I got back from holiday in Denver about a month ago and at first I was just going through the usual post-holiday blues but it appears to have developed into something else. I've come back and realised how lonely I feel here in the South East of England. I have friends and family but I've been feeling cold to it all. Usually I just work and don't do a lot else. I have my regular job and I'm also a Special Constable. On the days I do have to myself I just kinda sit around and can't be arsed to do anything, even just play video games. Mostly I just listen to music for most of the day.

I'm mostly attracted to American men and most of the guys I've dated in any serious way have all been Americans. When I was in Denver I was way more social and yet I didn't know anyone who lived there. I haven't been to a gay bar in years here in the UK but when I was out there I was there on my first weekend mingling with people. I also did loads of things whilst I was out there: Hiking, white water rafting, the zoo, Broncos stadium tour, ride-a-long with the Denver PD and we got on so well that one of them took me out to a members only shooting range to shoot some guns (first time I've ever done that). As soon as I was back it was back to feeling lethargic and isolating myself away again.

I've been feeling very detached from everything. I've touched on it before in other threads but I don't really feel very European. I feel more affinity with Americans. I look at how Europe is developing and essentially merging and I don't identify with it at all. It definitely doesn't help when I log on Facebook and all I see are Trump and Brexit posts. Constantly bombarded with friends posting about how people like me who voted for Brexit are scum, racist, stupid lowest form of life etc. Now more than ever I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I often wish I could just move across the pond. I'm pretty sure I'd settle into a relationship with someone and a lot of my loneliness and anxiety with everything would just disappear.

Everyone has been telling me it's just a post-holiday thing and I'll get over it soon. Actually it's all been very condescending. Just like all the "man up" rubbish. To be honest for about 6 years now I've started to feel very differently about life and I'm a very different person. I think this detachment is only going to continue to get worse and don't really know what to do. I know that I've started feeling way more depressed and anxious since I stopped going to counselling a year ago.

This is all very muddled I guess but I haven't really been able to map my thoughts into a coherent structure yet. Probably because I don't fully understand what it is I'm feeling or longing for.

what's stopping you just f***ing off and going there, or somewhere else?
So raise your fists and march around
Dont dare take what you need
I'll jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed
Crawl with me into tomorrow
Or i'll drag you to your grave
I'm deep inside your children
They'll betray you in my name

Sleep now in the fire

Offline YankeeToon

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1917 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 03:14:39 PM »
Rough patch right now. About 2 weeks ago I had the worst depressive episode I've had since going on meds, and it feels like since then the antidepressants just stopped being effective, which apparently sometimes happens. Like having one of those lead vests they put on you for x-rays on all the time, except on my brain, if that makes any sense at all. Earliest doctors' appointment is Sept. 10 (Yay US Healthcare system) so I'm trying to ride it out and hoping I don't start getting active suicidal urges again. Right now I'm just going to bed hoping that I die in my sleep and waking up disappointed that I didn't. Sleeping all the time, having trouble concentrating on work, fun times.

Online newsted

  • General Member
  • Everything Louder Than Everything Else. RIP Lemmy.
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1918 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 03:20:52 PM »
Rough patch right now. About 2 weeks ago I had the worst depressive episode I've had since going on meds, and it feels like since then the antidepressants just stopped being effective, which apparently sometimes happens. Like having one of those lead vests they put on you for x-rays on all the time, except on my brain, if that makes any sense at all. Earliest doctors' appointment is Sept. 10 (Yay US Healthcare system) so I'm trying to ride it out and hoping I don't start getting active suicidal urges again. Right now I'm just going to bed hoping that I die in my sleep and waking up disappointed that I didn't. Sleeping all the time, having trouble concentrating on work, fun times.

Man, we're all here for you, stay strong, tell us what's going on.
:) As you were.

Offline mrmojorisin75

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1919 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 03:23:58 PM »
aye hope you've got someone you can talk to dude
So raise your fists and march around
Dont dare take what you need
I'll jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed
Crawl with me into tomorrow
Or i'll drag you to your grave
I'm deep inside your children
They'll betray you in my name

Sleep now in the fire

Offline YankeeToon

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1920 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 03:31:03 PM »
Thanks, it's fine. I mean, it's clearly not fine, but I dealt with wanting to die for years before I got on meds. I can get through until we try a new dosage or a new drug. Just sucks to be back in it after rediscovering what emotions other than sadness were like.

Offline samptime29

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1921 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 03:35:53 PM »
Rough patch right now. About 2 weeks ago I had the worst depressive episode I've had since going on meds, and it feels like since then the antidepressants just stopped being effective, which apparently sometimes happens. Like having one of those lead vests they put on you for x-rays on all the time, except on my brain, if that makes any sense at all. Earliest doctors' appointment is Sept. 10 (Yay US Healthcare system) so I'm trying to ride it out and hoping I don't start getting active suicidal urges again. Right now I'm just going to bed hoping that I die in my sleep and waking up disappointed that I didn't. Sleeping all the time, having trouble concentrating on work, fun times.

We're all here for you brother.

Offline Jill

  • Don't really care what.
  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1922 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 09:22:17 PM »
Just get through a day at a time, YT. I've been there too many times to remember but it's better now and it'll get better for you too.

Offline Si

  • General Member
  • I dont handle change well.
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1923 on: Monday 26 August 2019, 09:25:35 PM »
Hang in there mate, keep posting in here as you need to. We're all here for you.
Bearings Straight!

Offline Bowie

  • General Member
Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #1924 on: Wednesday 28 August 2019, 08:27:13 AM »
After years of talking about it, and not doing it, I finally have my first therapy session next week. Stoked doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling about it. Can't wait. I can throw a copy of the intake form up here if anyone is interested in the kinds of questions you get asked going into therapy. Might take some of the fear of making that single phone call away or maybe give you some questions to think about on your own and contemplate if you're wanting to go to get into therapy.

:lol: Had my first sesh today. Was alright. Revealed far more than I ever expected to. She saw immediately I was hiding s*** and then we just chopped it up for an hour.

:thup: Good stuff.

They've got a skill in letting people ramble until it comes out, like. The last time I went to my GP for mental health related stuff, I just wanted to be prescribed Sertralene again but came out 15 minutes later about a a pint shorter of tears. :lol: