Author Topic: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011  (Read 124367 times)

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Offline pinkeye

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2100 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 04:37:05 PM »
Quote
It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.


It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:


I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to walk into a room, or in this case the garage, to find someone hanging by their neck dead!  Killing yourself like that is such a cruel thing to do because someone has to find you like that!  I can completely accept what his widow is saying there, he is at peace but, she has that gruesome and lasting image in her mind that will stay with her until the day she dies of her husband hanging....   there is no way that you could ever erase such a memory!

Offline ToonArmy1892

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2101 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 04:55:03 PM »
I still find the whole thing so strange to this day.

Offline Disco

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2102 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 05:22:36 PM »
7 years man. Time flies.

This bloke should have been my manager one day.

Are you a Wales youth international?

Offline Dinho lad

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2103 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 06:10:04 PM »
Quote
It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.


It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:


I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to walk into a room, or in this case the garage, to find someone hanging by their neck dead!  Killing yourself like that is such a cruel thing to do because someone has to find you like that!  I can completely accept what his widow is saying there, he is at peace but, she has that gruesome and lasting image in her mind that will stay with her until the day she dies of her husband hanging....   there is no way that you could ever erase such a memory!

Some suicides, or self-harm acts, just happen where the primitive part of the brain takes over your rational brain and then the next thing you know (or don't know), it happens - without you being able to make sense of it or control it.

Offline Dave

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2104 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 06:29:40 PM »
Just me who doesn't want to read these recent articles? I don't mean that in a heartless way towards his Mrs, I just don't think it's any of my business and I really don't want to know any more details of such a sad series of events. :undecided:

Offline Bimpy474

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2105 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 06:34:44 PM »
Maybe it might help someone else, might make someone who's had a similar letter spot something like what Gary had, must admit it's a hard read  :(

Offline Altamullan

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2106 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 06:37:47 PM »
Quote
It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.


It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:
Perfectly understandable, honest, natural and quite typical reaction. Suicide is an incredibly selfish act, even though people (who have been unsuccessful with potentially lethal attempts) usually report minimising the impact of their loss, prior to the attempt (and think differently after), it leaves a wake of devastation that lessens but never completely levels out. His boys will probably look at their own children and still feel a bitterness as well as crushing loss at his absence. Not to mention all the special occasions which are tainted and the difficult events they will face without his presence and support.
No se ganó Zamora en una hora y lo barato sale caro

Offline geordiedean

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2107 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 06:53:34 PM »
Quote
It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.


It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:
Perfectly understandable, honest, natural and quite typical reaction. Suicide is an incredibly selfish act, even though people (who have been unsuccessful with potentially lethal attempts) usually report minimising the impact of their loss, prior to the attempt (and think differently after), it leaves a wake of devastation that lessens but never completely levels out. His boys will probably look at their own children and still feel a bitterness as well as crushing loss at his absence. Not to mention all the special occasions which are tainted and the difficult events they will face without his presence and support.

Completely agree I had a friend commit suicide around 25 years ago and his MOther and sister have still not really forgiven him for his act as its them that have had to live with what he done even after all these years. It was them that had to pick up the pieces direct from the aftermath and it was them that are constantly wondering why

It is an extremely selfish act but to the people going through the hell and trauma that life throws at you its their only way out sadly
and now Tudor's gone down for Newcastle

Offline ManDoon

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2108 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 06:59:41 PM »
Selfish is not a fair word to use for it imo. Not that I particularly want an in depth discussion of it. 
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline Altamullan

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2109 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 07:00:38 PM »
It’s never the only way out. It can seem that way when people’s thinking is so narrowed by depression or they are disinhibited by alcohol/drugs. We all make bad decisions, on biased/dodgy information; some are unrecoverable.
« Last Edit: Monday 17 September 2018, 07:14:06 PM by Altamullan »
No se ganó Zamora en una hora y lo barato sale caro

Offline STM

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2110 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 07:16:05 PM »
Imagine being in those burning towers on 9/11 and jumping to your death was the only way to end the pain, you wouldn't call that act selfish, would you?

Physical pain and mental/emotional pain can do very similar things. Depression can hurt over many years though.
Sir Bobby Robson: “What is a club in any case? Not the buildings or the directors or the people who are paid to represent it. It’s not the television contracts, get-out clauses, marketing departments or executive boxes. It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city. It’s a small boy clambering up stadium steps for the very first time, gripping his father’s hand, gawping at that hallowed stretch of turf beneath him and, without being able to do a thing about it, falling in love.”

Offline Altamullan

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2111 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 07:28:04 PM »
Imagine being in those burning towers on 9/11 and jumping to your death was the only way to end the pain, you wouldn't call that act selfish, would you?

Physical pain and mental/emotional pain can do very similar things. Depression can hurt over many years though.
That is not the same, as in a planned deliberate action. Though take the point that ending ‘the pain’ can seem like the least worst alternative. It is never the only option though, and where your analogy falls down is the fact that people who are unsuccessful usually go on to put out their personal ‘inferno’ plus their loved ones do not have the same experience of loss as the victims of suicide who are left behind.
No se ganó Zamora en una hora y lo barato sale caro

Offline Jill

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2112 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 07:47:46 PM »
I still find the whole thing so terribly sad. :(

Online QuakesMag

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2113 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 07:54:58 PM »
Such a stigma around depression and mental illness still. Tend to forget how people are trapped in our own worlds. I can understand where the wife is coming from, but describing it as selfish doesn't take into account the massive hidden pain that won't leave.
Not one of the cool kids, and really insecure about it.

Offline wacko

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2114 on: Monday 17 September 2018, 08:20:03 PM »
Quote
It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.


It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:


I imagine a good part of that—and I believe it's not uncommon with depression—is that he kept his struggle so completely to himself for decades that it came entirely out of the blue even for the woman he'd spent almost his entire life with.
Just realized you aren't Dave, dick. Now I gotta actually do s***.

Offline NEEJ

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2115 on: Tuesday 18 September 2018, 09:04:08 PM »
Thinking about this still shocks me to the core like no other death of any person I've never met has. It still doesn't make any sense to us as the outsiders and it seems like the family feel the same. It must have been, and probably still is, absolutely horrific for them.
To call the act selfish is to completely disregard the state of mind someone in that position must be in to take their own life. People need to talk to each other more, man. :(

Offline HTT

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2116 on: Tuesday 18 September 2018, 09:17:36 PM »
Such a tragic loss and seemingly senseless and while I would find it extremely hard to forgive him if I was a member of his family and probably never would, if that’s the only option you feel you have to end whatever suffering or misery are suffering internally, externally or both, then what a tormented individual you must be. So sad for his family and a great loss to the game. I used to love Speed and thought he was underrated at times. We were often better with him in The side, even as he aged and he was great for the younger players. I think the game also lost a very very good manager.
Wee Hughie - the greatest centre-forward Newcastle United ever had

Offline Crumpy Gunt

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2117 on: Thursday 18 October 2018, 12:41:22 PM »
Talksport this hour talking about speed

New book co authored by his wife.

Offline Paully

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Re: RIP Gary Speed 1969-2011
« Reply #2118 on: Thursday 28 November 2019, 02:02:25 PM »
Eight years yesterday  :'( :'( :'(

Nice little story - met him a few times and he was a cracking lad

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