REAL NAME: Paul
AGE: 17
BIRTHPLACE: North Tyneside General Hospital (Rake Lane)
WHEREABOUTS: Hadrian Park (somewhere near Wallsend)
JOB: Student/referee/lazy b******
FAVOURITE BAND: Liking The Gorillaz atm
FAVOURITE FOOD: Chicken
FAVOURITE DRINK: Lemonade
FAVOURITE PLACE: St James' Park
FAVOURITE TV SHOW(S): MotD (s**** as it now is), Frank Skinner Show, News, Friends (oh dear I do sound sad)
FAVOURITE FILM: Mike Bassett (it's a football film)
FAVOURITE SHARK: Hate them all.
FOOTBALLING HEROES: Beardsley, Sir Les, Pav, Big Al, King Kev, Nobby, Sir Bobby
FOOTBALLING VILLAINS: Jenas, Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Gabriel Heinze
OTHER TEAMS: Newcastle Reserves and Juniors
OTHER SPORTS: F1, A1, GP2, WRC, Moto GP, Tennis, Cricket, Rugby (Union)
ROLE MODEL(S): Alan Shearer
PLANS FOR THE FUTURE: Be less lazy, do something with life
5 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: See Newcastle win the Premier League, see Newcastle win the Champions League, see Newcastle win the UEFA Super Cup, see Newcastle win the Club World Championship, and see the Monaco Grand Prix live in Monte Carlo.