Poll

One a scale of 1-5, how excited are you for Michael Owen on TV every week?

1
29 (8.4%)
2
2 (0.6%)
3
4 (1.2%)
4
2 (0.6%)
5
38 (11%)
I envy the deaf.
269 (78.2%)

Total Members Voted: 344

Author Topic: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book  (Read 276260 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline LV

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4325 on: Tuesday 10 September 2019, 06:06:30 PM »
Unfortunately hippo heed and Brazil’s heads have entered into a symbiotic orbit and become a binary star rather than a singularity. Hopefully they’ll go supernova and annihilate themselves soon, taking Owen and his brochure with them. 

Offline Mike

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4326 on: Tuesday 10 September 2019, 06:12:37 PM »
Restart the N-O book club with Owens book?

Offline Kanji

  • PGA
  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4327 on: Tuesday 10 September 2019, 11:56:21 PM »
Wouldn’t pay a dime to read that garbage
"We are not a stepping stone, we are Newcastle United." - Rafa Benitez

Offline Disco

  • Moderator
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4328 on: Thursday 12 September 2019, 12:25:57 PM »


Not actually a real grown man.
« Last Edit: Thursday 12 September 2019, 12:43:10 PM by Disco »

Offline TBG

  • King of GIF. WHAT?
  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4329 on: Thursday 12 September 2019, 12:32:29 PM »
Bet she still wipes his arse

Offline TBG

  • King of GIF. WHAT?
  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4330 on: Thursday 12 September 2019, 12:32:46 PM »
The bitch

Offline bovineblue

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4331 on: Thursday 12 September 2019, 02:10:11 PM »
Bet she still wipes his arse

They did put it to a vote though. Michael did not get a vote.

Offline Interpolic

  • Drossbot 5000
  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4332 on: Thursday 12 September 2019, 02:11:25 PM »
The bank account thing man, Jesus Christ.  Imagine being snowed in with that c*** for 5 days.

Offline HawK

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4333 on: Thursday 12 September 2019, 02:31:20 PM »
At least with Owen I get the sense that you could at least try to open his eyes to stuff, his head is so empty there's lots of potential for adjustment.

Pardew though, he's got bullshit ejaculating from every orifice. The no violence caveat purely swings it to Owen for me.

Offline Ian W

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4334 on: Thursday 12 September 2019, 03:12:30 PM »
I'm not even sure Owen is a sentient being TBH.

Offline loki679

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4335 on: Saturday 14 September 2019, 01:47:16 AM »
I'm not even sure Owen is a sentient being TBH.

Reckon he's some form of plant.
Comfy chairs, beer, and doom. Humanity's future is an early 90s LAN party.

Offline Decky

  • General Member
  • ashleyout.com
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4336 on: Monday 16 September 2019, 05:57:24 AM »
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline LV

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4337 on: Thursday 26 September 2019, 11:15:21 AM »
Not only never watched a film, he’s now admitted to never having tried a cup of tea or coffee in his life.

Offline Interpolic

  • Drossbot 5000
  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4338 on: Thursday 26 September 2019, 11:38:34 AM »
To paraphrase Stewart Lee, if you were to lock Michael Owen for sixty years in an empty underground bunker which contained nothing but a woolly tea cosy, he would not even be curious enough to be tempted to see if the tea cosy would make a serviceable hat.

Offline LV

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4339 on: Thursday 26 September 2019, 11:58:37 AM »
To paraphrase Stewart Lee, if you were to lock Michael Owen for sixty years in an empty underground bunker which contained nothing but a woolly tea cosy, he would not even be curious enough to be tempted to see if the tea cosy would make a serviceable hat.

:lol:

I met Stewart Lee once in a hotel lift in Northampton. True story.

Offline beardsleymagic

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4340 on: Thursday 24 October 2019, 08:19:24 PM »
Michael Owen arranged for £200 worth of pennies to be left on Kevin Keegan's desk after losing a game of head tennis against the former Newcastle United manager.

Keegan and assistant Terry McDermott challenged Owen and Nicky Butt to a doubles match at the club's training ground back in 2008.

Owen believed it was 'impossible' that 'two old-age pensioners' could beat them so rather than playing for pride, he upped the stakes with a cash bet.

To Owen and Butt's horror, the Magpies' management team 'absolutely battered' them - and they had to pay Keegan and McDermott back.

"A couple of days later, they were chasing us for the money so we said, 'We've got to pay them but we can't just live with this. We've got to get them back somehow," Owen recalled on Back of the Net.

"So I phoned my Dad and said, 'Can you go round all the banks in Newcastle and try to get £200 worth of pennies?' That's 20,000 pennies.

"I got to the training ground and as soon as I got back in from training, I called my Dad. He was out in the car park and, now, the hard bit was getting all of this money into Kevin Keegan's office before he came in.

"We got a few people to help us - literally ripped all the bags as quick as we could - and stuck 20,000 pennies on to his table in a huge pile. It was brilliant.


"Anyway, we waited and waited. Kevin Keegan came in, opened his door, looked at his desk with a massive pile of pennies on it and knew straight away it was me and Butty. He turned round and we burst out of the changing rooms laughing our heads off.

"So even though we got beat, it was almost a victory for us and never again did he ask us to play head tennis. And that is a true story."

Totally oblivious to the fact he sounds like Partride’s “needless to say I had the last laugh”, only without the humour.
The blokes a parody on himself

Offline Mikky

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4341 on: Thursday 24 October 2019, 08:30:56 PM »
Keegan is awesome at head tennis tbh

Offline midds

  • Administrator
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4342 on: Thursday 24 October 2019, 08:46:06 PM »
He's such a f***ing dull and introverted little wankstain. Eeeeee let's pay up but in pennies, it'll be sooooo funny. Pernicious little c***, just f*** off you boring little parasite. Die in a f***ing fire.

Offline ElDiablo

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4343 on: Thursday 24 October 2019, 09:00:24 PM »
:lol: Can't wait for the day one of his horses kicks him in the temple.

Offline Raconteur

  • General Member
  • I don't see any method at all, sir
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4344 on: Thursday 24 October 2019, 09:26:36 PM »
Tells a lot about the man when he relates that story thinking it makes him look good. Completely disappeared up his own ass.
Steve Bruce: Ashley Enabler.

"I have heard lots of nonsense about tactics but the big thing is about showing pride and having a go." 29/09/19

Online Shay's Given Tim Flowers

  • General Member
  • Stephen f***ing Hawkinson
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4345 on: Thursday 24 October 2019, 09:34:32 PM »
 :lol: Shock, Owen suggests a bet, then is a c*** when he loses. I mean that’s the sort of s*** you do to an enemy or if someone tricked you. Weird little man.

Offline Kimbo

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4346 on: Thursday 24 October 2019, 10:15:03 PM »
I’d be fine with that if he got the pennies himself, but sending your dad all over town collecting pennies? A bit odd to me.

Online David Edgar

  • General Member
  • But it is what it is.
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4347 on: Friday 25 October 2019, 07:33:11 AM »
Don't mind the penny banter. Bet Keegan laughed.

Offline Optimistic Nut

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4348 on: Friday 25 October 2019, 07:37:06 AM »
Sort of off-topic but one of the things I was impressed with by Owen when he played was how good a header of the ball he was. Obviously wasn’t tall but he had a good leap and was the opposite to Carroll whereby he sniffed out where the ball would likely go and nip in front of the centre-back, rather than see where the ball was going, then react.
?s=21

Offline HawK

  • General Member
Re: Michael Owen is trying to sell a book
« Reply #4349 on: Friday 25 October 2019, 08:49:28 AM »
Sort of off-topic but one of the things I was impressed with by Owen when he played was how good a header of the ball he was. Obviously wasn’t tall but he had a good leap and was the opposite to Carroll whereby he sniffed out where the ball would likely go and nip in front of the centre-back, rather than see where the ball was going, then react.