Author Topic: The Job Thread  (Read 362317 times)

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Offline Varadi

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9425 on: Tuesday 15 September 2020, 04:18:19 PM »
Anyone have experience in going into Self-employment? I'm currently out of work and looking to get into driving, Applied for an  Vehicle Delivery Representative not realizing its a self employment role offering "£300 - £500 a week"

A lot of delivery driving roles expect you to be self employed so they don't take on any of the extra costs of employing you - sick pay, holidays etc.

Watch the Ken Loach film "Sorry We Missed You" for more info (warning: it's depressing as f***)

Online astraguy

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9426 on: Friday 18 September 2020, 06:25:49 PM »
me again  :lol:Anyone currently or has worked in the job agency field? Since being unemployed clearly i have applied for a lot of roles and signed up to two agencies in the same time as both stated the job i applied for as "urgent"

However 3 weeks down the line i've heard jack s*** and just been offered a full time position they want me to start monday.Do i need to give notice? The one agency told me you can sign up to as many as you like without giving notice if you haven't started work for them?

Offline relámpago blanco

  • Likes gambling
  • General Member
  • aka Gorilla
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9427 on: Yesterday at 03:59:02 PM »
NO you don't just inform them you have another job.

Offline kingkerouac

  • General Member
  • London, UK
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9428 on: Yesterday at 05:45:15 PM »
I have applied for just about everything going. Two months down the line, I've made 114 applications, redone my CV, taken my age off of my CV and apart from one 'Your CV is excellent', I've heard nothing.

Offline Doctor Zaius

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9429 on: Yesterday at 07:21:08 PM »
I have applied for just about everything going. Two months down the line, I've made 114 applications, redone my CV, taken my age off of my CV and apart from one 'Your CV is excellent', I've heard nothing.


It's brutal out there. I'm after some (any!) part time work and I feel like I've barely got a chance despite having worked in several fields. Not had a peep in a month and a half. Starting to think about flat out lying on my CV, making up roles I've had for specific jobs else I feel like you're just filtered out most of the time by an algorithm.

Online Lazarus

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9430 on: Yesterday at 07:54:55 PM »
If anyones looking for work and has a sales background there are loads energy brokers looking for staff in the north east.

The good points: you can genuinely make life changing sums of money in commission. Heres how:

Commission is worked out as follows: annual consumption times 'uplift' times term divided by 100 = £££.

So say for example you ring a local independent charity shop. they use 4000 units per year, want a 2 year deal and you put 0.3p in the deal as commission/uplift. This deal is worth £12.

Say you ring a local corner shop. they use 65000 units, want a 3 year term and you put 1.2p in it. this deal is worth £2340.

Say you get lucky and you ring a farmer who has a gas meter using 33m units per year, he wants a 5 year term and you put 0.6p in it. this deal is worth £996k

Largest commission ive ever heard of was £1.6m (of which the lad who did the deal got, i think, 10%). Biggest commission ive ever had is 56k (of which i got 100% as i run my own brokerage and did the deal myself).

The bad points: Its brutal. Seriously hard graft and if you dont/cant perform you WILL be binned immediately and without notice, with zero f***s given. Even if you are lucky enough to get  the million pound deal described above if you dont hit your other time and call targets, you will get £0. The reason why brokers are always looking to hire is because of the HUGE staff attrition rates. If you are in any way faint hearted, remotely sensitive or less than 100% driven you WILL be chewed up and spat out. Think wolf of wall street. But worse. If you think potentially putting SME's and charities out of business is something you can live with - this may be the career for you.


Offline Troll

  • Book Wanker
  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9431 on: Yesterday at 07:57:45 PM »
There's going to be a COVID testing lab opening in Gateshead soon.  If you've got a science degree or any kind of lab experience you should be in with a shot.

Offline ManDoon

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9432 on: Yesterday at 08:01:44 PM »
What if you have a degree not in science, and never been in a lab in your life?
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline Wullie

  • Administrator
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9433 on: Yesterday at 08:02:35 PM »
What if you have a degree not in science, and never been in a lab in your life?

They'll need cleaners.
Jeff's Garage - Cheaper than some other garages.

Offline ManDoon

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9434 on: Yesterday at 08:03:19 PM »
What if you have a degree not in science, and never been in a lab in your life?

They'll need cleaners.

 :lol: f*** thats cold
:lol: I dunno. I'm starting to think it was us.
Trump will do well man. Don't know why but I really feel this will be the case. Really hope it will come to be that way.

Steve Bruce "“We can’t compete with the bigs boys at the top end so the cup is our best bet - it’s a lovely day out”"

Offline kingkerouac

  • General Member
  • London, UK
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9435 on: Today at 12:06:59 PM »
I have applied for just about everything going. Two months down the line, I've made 114 applications, redone my CV, taken my age off of my CV and apart from one 'Your CV is excellent', I've heard nothing.


It's brutal out there. I'm after some (any!) part time work and I feel like I've barely got a chance despite having worked in several fields. Not had a peep in a month and a half. Starting to think about flat out lying on my CV, making up roles I've had for specific jobs else I feel like you're just filtered out most of the time by an algorithm.

My wife manages a theatre in London and she says that's what their HR dept uses to filter through a lot of applications.
I added the word 'Digital' in front of every role I've done. Still waiting...

Offline loki679

  • General Member
  • 中国
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9436 on: Today at 12:21:08 PM »
If anyones looking for work and has a sales background there are loads energy brokers looking for staff in the north east.

The good points: you can genuinely make life changing sums of money in commission. Heres how:

Commission is worked out as follows: annual consumption times 'uplift' times term divided by 100 = £££.

So say for example you ring a local independent charity shop. they use 4000 units per year, want a 2 year deal and you put 0.3p in the deal as commission/uplift. This deal is worth £12.

Say you ring a local corner shop. they use 65000 units, want a 3 year term and you put 1.2p in it. this deal is worth £2340.

Say you get lucky and you ring a farmer who has a gas meter using 33m units per year, he wants a 5 year term and you put 0.6p in it. this deal is worth £996k

Largest commission ive ever heard of was £1.6m (of which the lad who did the deal got, i think, 10%). Biggest commission ive ever had is 56k (of which i got 100% as i run my own brokerage and did the deal myself).

The bad points: Its brutal. Seriously hard graft and if you dont/cant perform you WILL be binned immediately and without notice, with zero f***s given. Even if you are lucky enough to get  the million pound deal described above if you dont hit your other time and call targets, you will get £0. The reason why brokers are always looking to hire is because of the HUGE staff attrition rates. If you are in any way faint hearted, remotely sensitive or less than 100% driven you WILL be chewed up and spat out. Think wolf of wall street. But worse. If you think potentially putting SME's and charities out of business is something you can live with - this may be the career for you.



That sounds f***ing s***.
Comfy chairs, beer, and doom. Humanity's future is an early 90s LAN party.

Offline SuperFlat

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9437 on: Today at 12:22:32 PM »
Aye, absolutely awful. :lol:

Offline newsted

  • General Member
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, EU
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9438 on: Today at 12:32:20 PM »
:lol: I could probably be a lying c*** for a little while for £1.6m, if I had to, but I'd hate myself forever. What a life this is.
:) As you were.

Offline Froggy

  • Ok at Rocket League
  • General Member
  • Faster than a cannonball
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9439 on: Today at 01:30:49 PM »
Sounds like a highly stressful, depressing and frantic job that'll pay bog standard money unless you hit the lottery.

Offline loki679

  • General Member
  • 中国
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9440 on: Today at 01:48:39 PM »
Sounds like a highly stressful, depressing and frantic job that'll pay bog standard money unless you hit the lottery.

You're on the phone to people all day trying to cheat them into paying more than they have to for gas.  On top of the that the money's s***, the hours are long and 'if you dont/cant perform you WILL be binned immediately'.

f***ing sign me up, lad, sounds grand.
Comfy chairs, beer, and doom. Humanity's future is an early 90s LAN party.

Offline Lush Vlad

  • General Member
  • Vlad The Impaler (Nath)
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9441 on: Today at 03:18:51 PM »
Yeah, I work in a sales based role now.  But it is more specification and long term stuff.  Hard selling like that sounds absolutely brutal and not something I'd fancy.

Online Lazarus

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9442 on: Today at 05:06:24 PM »
yeah its not for everyone  :lol:

But there are genuinely people out there who can sell sand to arabs and ice to eskimos. They are incredibly well rewarded, both in terms of basic and commission percentages.

As a general rule the more revenue/commission you can bring in the higher your basic salary will become.

I got my start in the industry at utilitywise (who went bust a couple of years ago ish) and one lad there did approx 6m in commission in his 4 or 5 years there. he was rumored to be on a 6figure basic and a higher than normal comms split. he used to take the p*ss out of the lad who did the 1.6m deal saying it was 'coppers'  :lol:

If your good you will be set for life. and all the other brokers will try and poach you. Ive known entire teams and the manager get up and walk out to join a competitor.

There are other ways to be a success at this though, such as the lead generator role. you get paid to chat all day and someone else 'closes' any leads you  find. good lead gens are absolutely priceless.

I myself dont excel at either the lead gen or closer roles but i seem to have a knack of finding larger consumers.

There are also amazing incentives for hitting call time and other targets depending on the broker. everything from holidays to a months annual leave, stuff you wouldnt believe.

But only if you are good.


Offline joeyt

  • Loves an Anthem
  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9443 on: Today at 05:09:51 PM »
Still sounds awful

Online Lazarus

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9444 on: Today at 05:10:53 PM »
Yeah, I work in a sales based role now.  But it is more specification and long term stuff.  Hard selling like that sounds absolutely brutal and not something I'd fancy.

Depends on how you approach it. Obviously people buy off people but some go down the technical/industry knowledge route, some go down the banter route. one bloke i worked with flirted. didnt matter if he was talking to man woman or beast, he would just flirt outrageously.


Online Lazarus

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9445 on: Today at 05:12:28 PM »
Still sounds awful

It can be. You can go from feeling like a god to being called worse than s*** by your manager. :lol:

Offline joeyt

  • Loves an Anthem
  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9446 on: Today at 05:19:10 PM »
Must be class feeling like a god putting charities out of business and lying to people

Offline Beren

  • Administrator
  • Administrator
  • Lung is the GOAT
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9447 on: Today at 05:22:59 PM »
The whole set up feels like an Always Sunny ep. Frank is the unscrupulous manager. Dee is dry heaving from guilt. Dennis is being flirtatious and getting off on it. Charlie is accidentally brilliant.

Online Lazarus

  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9448 on: Today at 05:23:11 PM »
Must be class feeling like a god putting charities out of business and lying to people

 :lol: Some people are genuinely ruthless and will not hesitate to risk that if it means hitting targets.

But most people dont and most managers wont pressure them to.  i certainly wouldnt hire anyone that did. ive got a blackbook for that very purpose. full of 'b******s' and 'cokeheads'.  :lol:

Offline Troll

  • Book Wanker
  • General Member
Re: The Job Thread
« Reply #9449 on: Today at 06:29:41 PM »
The whole set up feels like an Always Sunny ep. Frank is the unscrupulous manager. Dee is dry heaving from guilt. Dennis is being flirtatious and getting off on it. Charlie is accidentally brilliant.

Mac is ridiculously competitive but s***.