Author Topic: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread  (Read 200011 times)

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Offline madras

  • Philosoraptor
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #900 on: Tuesday 3 January 2012, 09:51:35 PM »
All the stupid things my lass has said to me and she only told me the other day she's got an uncle called Andy Cole. Couldn't get over it.
i work with an andy cole.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #901 on: Friday 13 January 2012, 08:14:24 PM »
As usual it's not really stupid, more her being funny again.  New actress taking over the role of Lucy in Eastenders:

"Oh that's Lucy, look.  Lucy's got a new face".

Offline newsted

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  • Everything Louder Than Everything Else. RIP Lemmy.
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #902 on: Friday 13 January 2012, 08:34:45 PM »
As usual it's not really stupid, more her being funny again.  New actress taking over the role of Lucy in Eastenders:

"Oh that's Lucy, look.  Lucy's got a new face".

 :lol: Does she do this deadpan, like, and keep the act up, or smirking afterwards? It's all about the delivery.
:) As you were.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #903 on: Friday 13 January 2012, 08:40:57 PM »
As usual it's not really stupid, more her being funny again.  New actress taking over the role of Lucy in Eastenders:

"Oh that's Lucy, look.  Lucy's got a new face".

 :lol: Does she do this deadpan, like, and keep the act up, or smirking afterwards? It's all about the delivery.

It's all delivered in the same high-pitched innocent manner tbh. :lol: Works though.

Offline newsted

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  • Everything Louder Than Everything Else. RIP Lemmy.
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #904 on: Friday 13 January 2012, 09:06:36 PM »
As usual it's not really stupid, more her being funny again.  New actress taking over the role of Lucy in Eastenders:

"Oh that's Lucy, look.  Lucy's got a new face".

 :lol: Does she do this deadpan, like, and keep the act up, or smirking afterwards? It's all about the delivery.

It's all delivered in the same high-pitched innocent manner tbh. :lol: Works though.

:thup: A comedy genius, obviously. You must record it for posterity.
:) As you were.

VegasToon

  • Guest
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #905 on: Sunday 15 January 2012, 04:54:32 AM »
My wife got really mad at me for telling her she is smarter when she doesn't say anything.

Offline kirkwdavis2001

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #906 on: Sunday 15 January 2012, 02:18:15 PM »
Missus, "Who went off on a stretcher?"
Me, "Cabaye"
Missus, "Is he a QPR player?"

:lol:

Offline The Quiché

  • aka LincsToon
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #907 on: Monday 16 January 2012, 08:48:09 PM »
Not my Missus but a lass Ive started seeing:

Having a conversation about Yorkshire

Her: "So is York in Yorkshire?"

Me:  :facepalm:

Offline JH

  • Administrator
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #908 on: Thursday 19 January 2012, 12:32:40 AM »
Girl I worked with:

"How do you get whiskey out of a grouse?"

Offline Theregulars

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #909 on: Thursday 19 January 2012, 01:54:08 AM »
The chica lived in Pakistan for 7 years. She claimed that Pakistan had no law, so I asked for an example. She said the driving age was 12 and under. When I gave her the chance to correct herself, she stuck with it. So when I put it to her that this meant a toddler could drive but a man my age could not, she still stuck with it. She even rang her mum; who confirmed it as verbatim. 12 and under. Looked it up it was 16 and over, she said the law has changed since she lived there.
You're going to pay. In fear dollars.

Offline SEMTEX

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #910 on: Thursday 19 January 2012, 01:58:20 AM »
:spit: Fantastic. Sounds not dissimilar to the crap I have to work with in the homestead.

Offline Theregulars

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #911 on: Thursday 19 January 2012, 02:02:55 AM »
I love the chica but she's thick as mince to be fair. She has also claimed that orange peel is covered in arsenic, shaving gives you cancer and that girls don't have colons. It's just a litany of misinformed dribble.
You're going to pay. In fear dollars.

Offline SEMTEX

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #912 on: Thursday 19 January 2012, 02:05:47 AM »
:lol: Okay, not sure I have it to that extent... she's stubborn more than stupid, so if she did declare something, she certainly won't be changing her mind any time soon, no matter how far fetched.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #913 on: Thursday 19 January 2012, 09:53:39 AM »
:lol: Some great stuff from Theregulars.

Offline madras

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #914 on: Thursday 19 January 2012, 10:05:23 AM »
I love the chica but she's thick as mince to be fair. She has also claimed that orange peel is covered in arsenic, shaving gives you cancer and that girls don't have colons. It's just a litany of misinformed dribble.
isn't that the way their minds work though ? weather forecast says it'll rain, next prog is about frogs......................an hour later they'll say it's going to rain frogs.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline madras

  • Philosoraptor
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #915 on: Friday 20 January 2012, 02:31:35 PM »
i've just been corrected by my mother in law after calling her daughter a hypchondriac... "act"...."eh ?"... it's hypochondriACT, cos they are acting"
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline Lush Vlad

  • General Member
  • Vlad The Impaler (Nath)
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #916 on: Friday 20 January 2012, 03:18:16 PM »
Too many too remember, it annoys me that I forget the pearlers.  One that comes to mind straight away is:

Me: Do you know what the medical term for your skull is?

Missus: Erm, your brain?

Offline TRC

  • WASRKOOK
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #917 on: Saturday 21 January 2012, 08:46:18 AM »
The bird bought some crisps she didn't like and came out with.

"I'm going to buy these more often, because I don't like them, so I wont eat them and get fat"

She fully believed this was good logic and seemed quite proud with her statement.

Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #918 on: Monday 23 January 2012, 12:27:57 AM »
Not something she said, rather something she did...

She did this space themed film night at the little cinema she works at. She was making loads of decorations for the lobby and so had gone out to get loads of stuff: Card, stars, foil, spray paint etc.
She was sitting down with all the stuff around her and went to get the tin foil out the bag to cover some stuff she'd made. The look on her face as she opened the long thin box and realised she'd bought 3 rolls of clingfilm.

:lol: Hilarious.
And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make

Offline Ryan_Taylor

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #919 on: Monday 23 January 2012, 10:51:03 AM »
:spit:
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Offline Ian W

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  • ex NUFC fan
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #920 on: Monday 23 January 2012, 11:16:33 AM »
The bird bought some crisps she didn't like and came out with.

"I'm going to buy these more often, because I don't like them, so I wont eat them and get fat"

She fully believed this was good logic and seemed quite proud with her statement.

My girlfriend buys snacks that are just about nice enough to eat when hungry but not good enough to smash loads. I thought that logic was pretty sensible TBH!

Offline Dave

  • Administrator
Re: Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #921 on: Monday 23 January 2012, 02:48:18 PM »
I love the chica but she's thick as mince to be fair. She has also claimed that orange peel is covered in arsenic, shaving gives you cancer and that girls don't have colons. It's just a litany of misinformed dribble.

:lol: :lol:

Craig-NUFC

  • Guest
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #922 on: Wednesday 25 January 2012, 09:57:49 PM »
Talking about wor penis:
"It's like a little mouse is a sleeping bag"

:okay:

Offline Rocker

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #923 on: Wednesday 25 January 2012, 10:04:09 PM »
Talking about wor penis:
"It's like a little mouse is a sleeping bag"

:okay:

 :lol:

Offline cfcmagpies

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #924 on: Thursday 26 January 2012, 10:30:25 AM »
Talking about wor penis:
"It's like a little mouse is a sleeping bag"

 :okay:

 :spit:
"Whenever I have a nightmare it isn't in colour.  It's always black and white, the colours of the meanest, toughest  club ever to run on to a football field.  Collingwood.  I've laboured the point of my hatred of Collingwood and it isn't a friendly dislike - as a club they rankle me.  You couldn't like them, they think they are God's gift to football, they shun all outsiders and the only time I like to think of Collingwood is when they lose, because it hurts them so much. I've always been a bad loser, but I'm a good sport compared to Collingwood.  If they win they gloat, if they lose they hide themselves away and sulk.  When they lose they never visit your rooms or congratulate you and they'll send you round hot beer to have a drink.  I wouldn't drink anything they offered, you wouldn't know what they had done to it." Jack 'Captain Blood' Dyer.