Author Topic: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread  (Read 200115 times)

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Offline GeordieMessiah

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  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #425 on: Friday 25 June 2010, 07:32:58 PM »
Man, Lanky! I thought nobody was ever gonna pick up on that. Thank you! :smitten:


I aim to please, which is more than can be said for.................................... :facepalm:

:laugh:
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #426 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 01:29:50 AM »
She just full-on licked my face and went "FACE RAPE" in a proper six year old child's voice.  What the f***.

That's it, I'm documenting all this s*** now - there's no going back.  If she finds out I'm dead though.

Offline The Prophet

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #427 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 01:35:37 AM »
She just full-on licked my face and went "FACE RAPE" in a proper six year old child's voice.  What the f***.

That's it, I'm documenting all this s*** now - there's no going back.  If she finds out I'm dead though.

 :lol:

Sounds like a keeper.
It's basically what gives us the upper hand even in times of crisis. "Cannit wait man, we're gonna batter them, hope it's 4 or 5 nil, fancy such and such for a hat trick, we're going got Europe, they're a yo-yo team" Then five minutes into the game "s***, why haven't we scored? They've had a shot! Why aren't we all over them? How come there are two teams in the game? f***, what if we don't win? f***s SAKE CLEAR IT SHOOT TACKLE HIM BOO! What if we lose, PANIC PANIC BRUCE MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY DID HE MISS THAT SHOT, IS HE A MAG?! IT'S BECAUSE BRUCE IS A MAG! f*** OFF STEWARD ARE YOU A f***ing MAG? BET ALL THESE COPPERS ARE MAGS, AND THE MEDIA! THE REF'S A f***ing MAG! AM I A MAG?! Wait, blacked out for a second there. Ah, f***, we've lost again."

Offline Yorkie

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  • C'mTA
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #428 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 01:36:51 AM »
She sounds awesome. :(


Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #430 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 06:33:59 AM »
Watching a world cup game with the lass where a player blasts the ball over the bar.

Her: He must have pushed square too hard.  :lol:

Offline madras

  • Philosoraptor
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #431 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 09:50:13 AM »
Watching a world cup game with the lass where a player blasts the ball over the bar.

Her: He must have pushed square too hard.  :lol:
dunno, i actually think thats quite cleverly funny. "someone" instead of "he" maybe,but it still works.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #432 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 11:58:29 AM »
Watching a world cup game with the lass where a player blasts the ball over the bar.

Her: He must have pushed square too hard.  :lol:
dunno, i actually think thats quite cleverly funny. "someone" instead of "he" maybe,but it still works.

I meant it like that, it really cracked me up. I see this as more of a 'Funny thing's my lass has said' thread.
« Last Edit: Saturday 26 June 2010, 01:00:55 PM by dinotheprehistoricgeordie »

firetotheworks

  • Guest
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #433 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 12:07:12 PM »
Watching a world cup game with the lass where a player blasts the ball over the bar.

Her: He must have pushed square too hard.  :lol:

That's class man. I sometimes shout 'Square, not Circle!' while watching a match if someone blasts it over and I want a cheap laugh. It's a good stock joke.

Offline Dokko

  • TT
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #434 on: Saturday 26 June 2010, 12:07:25 PM »
I've just paid mine off for the World Cup, it's not even cost £20 so far, she thought she'd have been quids in but I stipulated no England games and her sweepstake teams. Full WC peace and quiet.


Offline Northerngimp

  • Brexit W*nker
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #435 on: Tuesday 29 June 2010, 01:09:52 PM »
She just full-on licked my face and went "FACE RAPE" in a proper six year old child's voice.  What the f***.

That's it, I'm documenting all this s*** now - there's no going back.  If she finds out I'm dead though.

GET HER BACK.

Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #436 on: Friday 16 July 2010, 05:57:10 PM »
Me

did you know that if you hold a mouthful of cola in your mouth for a full night

it will dissolve parts of your tongue
5:48pmRachael

i didnt
5:49pmMe

something to tell your mates
5:49pmRachael

hahaha shut up
5:51pmMe

ill tell u another

if you eat 50 pork pies in a day you actually lose half a stone because your bodys metabolism reverses because of the amount of calories
5:53pmRachael

so how are fat people fat?

lol
5:54pmMe

they dont eat that amount during a day
5:54pmRachael

some eat laodsssssssssssssssssssss
5:54pmMe

im just saying if you tried it

yes but pork pies have jelly in them

which activates the cells

more
5:55pmRachael

oooo

i see

Offline khay

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #437 on: Friday 16 July 2010, 06:01:54 PM »
I'm not sure who is daft you or your lass.

Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #438 on: Friday 16 July 2010, 06:03:04 PM »
I'm not sure who is daft you or your lass.
I am very daft, but still :lol:

Offline cp40

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #439 on: Wednesday 21 July 2010, 06:46:44 PM »
Well Ive looked right through this owners manual and I cant find anything about Towing weights for Caravans
It only mentions trailers. :suicide:

Heneage

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #440 on: Wednesday 28 July 2010, 11:09:16 PM »
"So Goal 2 isn't based on a true story? But David Beckham was in it? So that guy doesn't exist at all?"

Offline mrmojorisin75

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #441 on: Friday 30 July 2010, 06:55:04 PM »
"why are the birds angry?"

was the first question When being shown how to play angry birds, not how do you play or anything stupid like that.

:facepalm:
So raise your fists and march around
Dont dare take what you need
I'll jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed
Crawl with me into tomorrow
Or i'll drag you to your grave
I'm deep inside your children
They'll betray you in my name

Sleep now in the fire

Offline Cajun

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #442 on: Tuesday 10 August 2010, 08:20:16 PM »
Via text:

Her - "I wish I looked like Shakira"
Me - "So do I"

Then she gets the hump, not being funny but if she realises how hot Shakira is then she should realise how hot I think Shakira is  :doh:

Offline SEMTEX

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #443 on: Tuesday 10 August 2010, 08:26:40 PM »
"why are the birds angry?"

was the first question When being shown how to play angry birds, not how do you play or anything stupid like that.

:facepalm:

The pigs took their eggs man, their f***ing eggs

Offline cp40

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #444 on: Tuesday 10 August 2010, 08:26:59 PM »
she goes out for a fag, and comes back in, has a pee.

then comes into living room and asks why ive left back door open.



 :angry:

f*** off or I will chop your head OFF!!!

Offline Tooj

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #445 on: Tuesday 10 August 2010, 08:31:00 PM »
:lol:
"Elsewhere, at worst, modern commercial football could be seen as the mall rather than the circus; insidiously bland, decaffeinated and pre-packed, its relentless formulaic repetition an instrument for disabling consciousness rather than manipulating it."

David Goldblatt

icemanblue

  • Guest
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #446 on: Tuesday 10 August 2010, 08:40:22 PM »
"why are the birds angry?"

was the first question When being shown how to play angry birds, not how do you play or anything stupid like that.

:facepalm:

The pigs took their eggs man, their f***ing eggs

To be fair, they've fallen for the old 'wooden cut-out of a pig' routine a fair few times now. They could just be angry with themselves?

Offline Ameritoon

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #447 on: Tuesday 10 August 2010, 08:46:29 PM »
Me: "I think they're doing it out of jest."
Her: "Yeah, well maybe they're just joking."

Offline Dave

  • Administrator
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #448 on: Tuesday 10 August 2010, 08:47:50 PM »
"why are the birds angry?"

was the first question When being shown how to play angry birds, not how do you play or anything stupid like that.

:facepalm:

The pigs took their eggs man, their f***ing eggs

To be fair, they've fallen for the old 'wooden cut-out of a pig' routine a fair few times now. They could just be angry with themselves?

:lol:

Offline mrmojorisin75

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #449 on: Wednesday 11 August 2010, 06:34:02 AM »
"why are the birds angry?"

was the first question When being shown how to play angry birds, not how do you play or anything stupid like that.

:facepalm:

The pigs took their eggs man, their f***ing eggs

:lol:

cracks me with the stress on the second bit, THEIR f***ing EGGS!!!
So raise your fists and march around
Dont dare take what you need
I'll jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed
Crawl with me into tomorrow
Or i'll drag you to your grave
I'm deep inside your children
They'll betray you in my name

Sleep now in the fire