Author Topic: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread  (Read 200006 times)

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Online Conjo

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #200 on: Monday 23 November 2009, 07:32:49 PM »
Sure that wasn't just a joke?

Who's the stupid one now? haha!
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Offline cp40

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #201 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 05:38:27 PM »
Shes just said about her Pitta bread  'what the f***s up with this' ...she didnt know that sometimes you have to cut the side to open them yourself, she thought hey came ready split.

 ;D

Offline S.S.R.

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #202 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 05:43:38 PM »
The stupid things my lass has heard me say (well just the one actually).

When I was asleep a while back, my lass says I quite clearly said "LOVELY BOYS".  That's bad, isn't it?  I don't know why I'm admitting that on here but I tend to tell pretty much everyone about it because I think it's quite funny.

Could've been "Lovely, boys".

Offline indi

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #203 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 06:56:31 PM »
The stupid things my lass has heard me say (well just the one actually).

When I was asleep a while back, my lass says I quite clearly said "LOVELY BOYS".  That's bad, isn't it?  I don't know why I'm admitting that on here but I tend to tell pretty much everyone about it because I think it's quite funny.

Could've been "Lovely, boys".

Or perhaps he's been possessed by the ghost of Windsor Davies?



Even though he's not dead.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #204 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 07:01:36 PM »
The stupid things my lass has heard me say (well just the one actually).

When I was asleep a while back, my lass says I quite clearly said "LOVELY BOYS".  That's bad, isn't it?  I don't know why I'm admitting that on here but I tend to tell pretty much everyone about it because I think it's quite funny.

Could've been "Lovely, boys".

Or perhaps he's been possessed by the ghost of Windsor Davies?



Even though he's not dead.

I mentioned it to my lass the other day and she said it was said like "lovely boys" (no comma) and she interpreted it as blokes not kids.  Mint.

firetotheworks

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #205 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 07:13:12 PM »
Hahaha, thats mint!


Here's one for you's.

In the first flat I ever had there was loads that needed done to it. There were loads of wall plug in the wall that needed taken out in the living room. When I took one of them out loads of the wall fell out and left a massive hole. Later that day my dad came around to help me decorate the flat and my lass at the time, who hadn't met my dad yet said as the first thing in front of him 'Michael, have you shown your dad your hole?'

 :lol:

My dad just laughed and went 'Should I go out and come back in?'

Offline Cajun

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #206 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 09:00:09 PM »
My lass just said "why are you online, are you on the internet?"  :undecided:

Offline The Prophet

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #207 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 09:04:57 PM »
Not my lass but...

The other day I was in the main library building doing some reading for my course. Not sensing the irony the lass sat opposite me started jabbering on about people being too noisy. She than asked me what I was reading, so I showed her. It was an article about resulting trusts. She then says with a deadly serious face: "Why? Do you have problems trusting people like?"

It was a combined reaction of trying not to laugh too hard and being shocked at the stupidity.
It's basically what gives us the upper hand even in times of crisis. "Cannit wait man, we're gonna batter them, hope it's 4 or 5 nil, fancy such and such for a hat trick, we're going got Europe, they're a yo-yo team" Then five minutes into the game "s***, why haven't we scored? They've had a shot! Why aren't we all over them? How come there are two teams in the game? f***, what if we don't win? f***s SAKE CLEAR IT SHOOT TACKLE HIM BOO! What if we lose, PANIC PANIC BRUCE MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY DID HE MISS THAT SHOT, IS HE A MAG?! IT'S BECAUSE BRUCE IS A MAG! f*** OFF STEWARD ARE YOU A f***ing MAG? BET ALL THESE COPPERS ARE MAGS, AND THE MEDIA! THE REF'S A f***ing MAG! AM I A MAG?! Wait, blacked out for a second there. Ah, f***, we've lost again."

Offline Jimburst

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #208 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 09:13:56 PM »
Upon reading this:
Why are sunderland called the black cats when they play in red and white?  Would've been much better if they called themselves the barbers.
She said: "Because they've got a big f***ing black cat on the side of the stadium, idiot!"

:lol:
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Offline BlueStar

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #209 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 09:25:14 PM »
Was talking about Jim Carrey the other day with my lass and I said "I think he is Canadian actually" and she says "Most people are" 

Think what she was trying to say is that a lot of famous people who you presume to be American are actually Canadian.

Offline Cajun

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #210 on: Tuesday 24 November 2009, 09:26:10 PM »
Was talking about Jim Carrey the other day with my lass and I said "I think he is Canadian actually" and she says "Most people are" 

Think what she was trying to say is that a lot of famous people who you presume to be American are actually Canadian.

She isn't clever enough to know/assume that.

Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #211 on: Wednesday 25 November 2009, 04:37:27 PM »
Not my lass but a lass at my work.  Someone secretly filmed her dancing to the Ghostbusters tune while sitting at her desk and stuck it on YouTube.  Her whole personality centres around being incredulous about something or other, so when she was kicking off she said:

"They put it on YouTube.  That's on the internet".

It's been taken down now.

Offline Pilko

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #212 on: Wednesday 25 November 2009, 04:43:32 PM »
Some c*** once secretly filmed me singing at the frigging karaoke and sent it round.
"Does a struggling salesman start turning up on a bicycle? No, he turns up in a newer car. Perception." - David Brent

Offline LesPaul

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #213 on: Wednesday 25 November 2009, 04:52:41 PM »
Some c*** once secretly filmed me singing at the frigging karaoke and sent it round.

There was a video of me miming Supersonic (as Liam would do it) at a 21st birthday party. Now I had a fair few in me at the time. Apparently it was great but I haven't seen it.

Offline Southerner

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #214 on: Thursday 26 November 2009, 02:54:10 PM »
Was utterly baited into telling lass that Britney Spears is much better looking than her, whilst both p*ssed with friends round. Tears were involved.  :facepalm: Stupid bitch tried telling me that Britney wasn't 'real' and that she's a real woman after, I laughed,  :facepalm: All my bumsex tokens that i'd ben saving up all year, spent in one foul blow.

Sod it.

Offline Northerngimp

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #215 on: Thursday 26 November 2009, 03:01:29 PM »
Was utterly baited into telling lass that Britney Spears is much better looking than her, whilst both p*ssed with friends round. Tears were involved.  :facepalm: Stupid bitch tried telling me that Britney wasn't 'real' and that she's a real woman after, I laughed,  :facepalm: All my bumsex tokens that i'd ben saving up all year, spent in one foul blow.

Sod it.


You Knacker.

Offline Decky

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #216 on: Thursday 26 November 2009, 03:02:10 PM »
Bumsex tokens :lol:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Northerngimp

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #217 on: Thursday 26 November 2009, 03:04:24 PM »
Women are like plasticine, they need to be worked with delicate hands to bring out the final sculpture.  Not worked with monkey hands and forced together so you just end up with a big grey ball.


Offline AfroP

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #218 on: Thursday 26 November 2009, 03:18:22 PM »
Women are like plasticine, they need to be worked with delicate hands to bring out the final sculpture.  Not worked with monkey hands and forced together so you just end up with a big grey ball.



so wait, what your saying is that birds are like morf?

Offline Northerngimp

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #219 on: Thursday 26 November 2009, 03:32:24 PM »
Women are like plasticine, they need to be worked with delicate hands to bring out the final sculpture.  Not worked with monkey hands and forced together so you just end up with a big grey ball.



so wait, what your saying is that birds are like morf?


Yeah, basically.

Offline Southerner

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #220 on: Thursday 26 November 2009, 03:40:15 PM »
Women are like plasticine, they need to be worked with delicate hands to bring out the final sculpture.  Not worked with monkey hands and forced together so you just end up with a big grey ball.



so wait, what your saying is that birds are like morf?


Yeah, basically.

But with bruises..

Offline STM

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #221 on: Monday 30 November 2009, 01:23:08 PM »
(Watching Barca vs Real last night)

I pointed out Perez and Laporta sitting in the directors box, stating that they were the clubs presidents, to which she replied;

"Haven't they got more important things to do than watch football!"
Sir Bobby Robson: “What is a club in any case? Not the buildings or the directors or the people who are paid to represent it. It’s not the television contracts, get-out clauses, marketing departments or executive boxes. It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city. It’s a small boy clambering up stadium steps for the very first time, gripping his father’s hand, gawping at that hallowed stretch of turf beneath him and, without being able to do a thing about it, falling in love.”

Offline bulivye

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #222 on: Monday 30 November 2009, 03:01:01 PM »
Not my lass but a lass at my work.  Someone secretly filmed her dancing to the Ghostbusters tune while sitting at her desk and stuck it on YouTube.  Her whole personality centres around being incredulous about something or other, so when she was kicking off she said:

"They put it on YouTube.  That's on the internet".

It's been taken down now.

      :coolsmiley:
altogether elsewhere vast
herds of reindeer move across
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silently and very fast

Offline Steggy

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #223 on: Monday 30 November 2009, 05:39:09 PM »
"Do the players like know what team thy're playing against until the day of the game?"

Offline cp40

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #224 on: Monday 30 November 2009, 08:57:46 PM »
Just caught her watching im a Celeb.
I asked what the lass was doing.

she says.

' she has to move through the thingy wiithout thingying it'

that cleared that up then.