Author Topic: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread  (Read 184760 times)

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Offline GeordieMessiah

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #50 on: Friday 26 June 2009, 11:10:32 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

:lol:
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

Offline catmag

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #51 on: Friday 26 June 2009, 11:18:55 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...


Offline GeordieMessiah

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #52 on: Friday 26 June 2009, 11:20:21 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



Bloody amateurs. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

Offline Liam Liam Liam O

  • supports his local club.
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #53 on: Friday 26 June 2009, 11:23:10 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Offline midds

  • Administrator
  • In omnia Paratus
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #54 on: Friday 26 June 2009, 11:27:19 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Exactly.  :celb:
The club comes first.

Offline catmag

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  • Cat Lady
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #55 on: Friday 26 June 2009, 11:29:49 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

Offline Liam Liam Liam O

  • supports his local club.
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #56 on: Friday 26 June 2009, 11:30:34 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Exactly.  :celb:

Let them think they're in charge :pow: is what you said, I definately didn't say it

Offline madras

  • Philosoraptor
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #57 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 01:39:13 am »
despite being born and bred in newcastle the wife thought the high level bridge was actually called the eye level bridge as it's about eye level when you approach it.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline cp40

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #58 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 07:28:50 am »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



Bloody amateurs. :lol: :lol: :lol:


reads like an episode of the likely lads,

Offline Cajun

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #59 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 09:10:03 am »
Cath doesn't say stupid things. :hmm:

However, I managed to convince a couple of retards at work that you could buy 'diet chickens' rather than normal ones.  ???

Where from?

Offline Leazes1986

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #60 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 04:48:54 pm »
Came out with another today.

Her: "I thought Shields town hall was above Shields library"

Me: "Are you joking you nutter? You've passed it millions of times"

Her: "You mean the one with the big clock on it?"

Me: "Aye"

Her: "I thought that was a big church"

Me : "Oh for f*** sake"


Alan Shearer:

404 games for Newcastle - 206 goals
63 Caps for England - 30 goals
733 career games - 379 goals
Newcastle's all time leading goalscorer
Ended his career by scoring against the scum in a 4-1 win
Turned Man United down, but lived the dream Alan Shearer=TRUE LEGEND

Offline Northerngimp

  • Brexit W*nker
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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #61 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 06:15:10 pm »
The Man U Barcelona Champs league final

"who is that really good player for bacelona, Ronaldo Jessi?"

"You mean Lionel Messi?"

"yeah him"

 :kinnear:

Offline Tooj

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #62 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 07:22:55 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

I never needed permission to go.  :buck2:
"Elsewhere, at worst, modern commercial football could be seen as the mall rather than the circus; insidiously bland, decaffeinated and pre-packed, its relentless formulaic repetition an instrument for disabling consciousness rather than manipulating it."

David Goldblatt

Offline catmag

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  • Cat Lady
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #63 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 07:52:19 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

I never needed permission to go.  :buck2:

Funny thing is - neither did midds! They concocted this whole elaborate explanation/plan and I actually suggested he should go before he got a chance to use it :lol:

Plus, I'm off out for beer with an old mate of mine in a couple of weeks when he visits Newcastle so it works both ways :)

Offline LBW

  • TPFKA lankybellwipe
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #64 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 07:55:14 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

I never needed permission to go.  :buck2:

Funny thing is - neither did midds! They concocted this whole elaborate explanation/plan and I actually suggested he should go before he got a chance to use it :lol:

Plus, I'm off out for beer with an old mate of mine in a couple of weeks when he visits Newcastle so it works both ways :)

Thats a lush av Cat....   or Catav, sister of Satnav........ffs

Anyhoo, who is it?
"You're giving ME the 'it's naat you it's me' routine? If it's anybaady, it's ME!!"
"Ok George, it's YOU!"
"You're DAMN RIGHT IT'S ME!"

Offline McCormick

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #65 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 08:38:27 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

I never needed permission to go.  :buck2:

Funny thing is - neither did midds! They concocted this whole elaborate explanation/plan and I actually suggested he should go before he got a chance to use it :lol:

Plus, I'm off out for beer with an old mate of mine in a couple of weeks when he visits Newcastle so it works both ways :)

Thats a lush av Cat....   or Catav, sister of Satnav........ffs

Anyhoo, who is it?

:lol: You're not serious?
Please, don't hurt me.....ok, yeah, let's wrestle naked on the floor....what do you mean I'm not a man? I f***ing 18 years old......let's get our cocks out........f***ing right on....i've got a hair on my cock area. Where's your's you f***er?  I'm gonna f***ing split your f***ing skinny butt in two boy.  Ok chap, lets do some man-on-man....cum in me gob.....f***ing come on.......f***ing another deranged sunday jack daniels fuelled night.......yeah....started so well......did it? No............you deranged f***ing idiot JJ.......WHERE'S YA LASS jj? Under the floor boards chap.....get tHE coppaz.  He's been on a killin spree. No I've not.....hope the pigs are tapping into this site......i ate her.....proper cut her up......so if I were your woman and you were my man I'd never stop loving you.......

Offline LBW

  • TPFKA lankybellwipe
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #66 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 08:40:36 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

I never needed permission to go.  :buck2:

Funny thing is - neither did midds! They concocted this whole elaborate explanation/plan and I actually suggested he should go before he got a chance to use it :lol:

Plus, I'm off out for beer with an old mate of mine in a couple of weeks when he visits Newcastle so it works both ways :)

Thats a lush av Cat....   or Catav, sister of Satnav........ffs

Anyhoo, who is it?

:lol: You're not serious?

Have I ever been? :razz:
"You're giving ME the 'it's naat you it's me' routine? If it's anybaady, it's ME!!"
"Ok George, it's YOU!"
"You're DAMN RIGHT IT'S ME!"

Offline Haz

  • formerly known as Haswell
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #67 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 09:00:11 pm »
My missus has just been watching Glastonbury on BBC 4. Neil Young's on.  She says, look at the old man having to sit down to play the guitar - he must be a canny age?

This is about the Peddle steel guitarist. FFS.
Drinking alcohol never solves anything. But neither does drinking milk.

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
- William Ernest Henley

Offline catmag

  • General Member
  • Cat Lady
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #68 on: Saturday 27 June 2009, 09:06:35 pm »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

I never needed permission to go.  :buck2:

Funny thing is - neither did midds! They concocted this whole elaborate explanation/plan and I actually suggested he should go before he got a chance to use it :lol:

Plus, I'm off out for beer with an old mate of mine in a couple of weeks when he visits Newcastle so it works both ways :)

Thats a lush av Cat....   or Catav, sister of Satnav........ffs

Anyhoo, who is it?

Dunno. Found him in a cabbage patch and brought him home...


Offline madras

  • Philosoraptor
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #69 on: Sunday 28 June 2009, 12:23:02 am »
You lot are all so wrong.  Midds is in charge in that house. :nods:

He absolutely is. He is as much in charge in this house as LLLO is in his.

Which is why they recently had to hatch an elaborate plan in order to go and see a band, both hoping that neither myself nor LLLO's lovely wife would speak to each other and figure out what they had done...



But are we going? :snod:

Of course you're going! You're going because we're lovely, wonderful, perfect women and we said you were allowed! :lol:

I never needed permission to go.  :buck2:

Funny thing is - neither did midds! They concocted this whole elaborate explanation/plan and I actually suggested he should go before he got a chance to use it :lol:

Plus, I'm off out for beer with an old mate of mine in a couple of weeks when he visits Newcastle so it works both ways :)

Thats a lush av Cat....   or Catav, sister of Satnav........ffs

Anyhoo, who is it?

Dunno. Found him in a cabbage patch and brought him home...


aye we done that once. drunk on the way back from the pub. it leaked something rotten so we tried to take it back but they wouldn't exchange without a receipt.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline Newcastle Fan

  • General Member
  • NUFC forever
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #70 on: Sunday 28 June 2009, 12:38:04 am »
"What the hell is Newcastle, is that even a real team?

Offline madras

  • Philosoraptor
  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #71 on: Sunday 28 June 2009, 12:56:47 am »
"What the hell is Newcastle, is that even a real team?
i trust your reply was "tell me when i'm in,it's like a wellie top"
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline Theregulars

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #72 on: Sunday 28 June 2009, 01:59:42 pm »
"The bombing of Konichiwa"
You're going to pay. In fear dollars.

Offline cp40

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #73 on: Wednesday 9 September 2009, 07:39:29 pm »
My lass has just said we should get Fabio capello to manage the Toon.

I explained he was to up market for us, that he would only manage a national side , or a Champions leagu side.

so she says... I thought we were in the champions league now. ;D


championship Pet, .. sounds similar,  2 divisions Below ( sort of)

Offline ZeRoE

  • General Member
Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.
« Reply #74 on: Wednesday 9 September 2009, 10:31:50 pm »
The lass ringing me on the house phone...

"Where Are You?"

 :facepalm: