Author Topic: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread  (Read 209970 times)

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Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2850 on: Saturday 19 October 2019, 03:54:44 AM »
"Where's Jesse?"

15 minutes into Lost In Translation when it started dawning on her that we weren't watching El Camino.

Would have been a bit abstract starting the Breaking Bad sequel with scenes of Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson gazing at the streets of Tokyo like :lol:

Offline Yorkie

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2851 on: Saturday 19 October 2019, 07:56:09 AM »
:lol: Mint.

My lass hates Kevin Bacon but I'd been wanting to watch Mystic River on Netflix. She, meanwhile, had been wanting to see Zodiac for ages (which is fair enough). I put Mystic River on and told her it was Zodiac; we made it a good third of the way through before she realised she'd been duped by a famous Lishman hoodwinking.

Offline Beren

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2852 on: Saturday 19 October 2019, 08:28:12 AM »
"Where's Jesse?"

15 minutes into Lost In Translation when it started dawning on her that we weren't watching El Camino.

Would have been a bit abstract starting the Breaking Bad sequel with scenes of Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson gazing at the streets of Tokyo like :lol:

:lol:

Offline Jimburst

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2853 on: Saturday 19 October 2019, 08:07:51 PM »
:lol: Mint.

My lass hates Kevin Bacon but I'd been wanting to watch Mystic River on Netflix. She, meanwhile, had been wanting to see Zodiac for ages (which is fair enough). I put Mystic River on and told her it was Zodiac; we made it a good third of the way through before she realised she'd been duped by a famous Lishman hoodwinking.

:lol: very good.
A splatterhouse turd done in the manky toilets of a discotheque, brought on my the consumption of cowies or toot.

Offline Hhtoon

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2854 on: Saturday 19 October 2019, 09:58:38 PM »
Needed some tinfoil for a brisket (yum) but had run out

Me:" is there anything else I can use instead of tinfoil? "
Wife:" I think greasepaper works"
Me:"great, where is it?"
Wife:"I don't think we've got any"

 :anguish:

Offline madras

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2855 on: Sunday 20 October 2019, 12:44:19 AM »
Right, we have one of those USB plugs for charging our phones, easy enough to change the cable etc. My new Samsung cable was in and she tried it in hers, naturally didn't fit, so I handed her the right cable, she put it in her phone, leaving mine in the charger and said "Its still not charging".
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline Tomato Deuce

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2856 on: Sunday 20 October 2019, 02:25:29 AM »
:lol: Mint.

My lass hates Kevin Bacon but I'd been wanting to watch Mystic River on Netflix. She, meanwhile, had been wanting to see Zodiac for ages (which is fair enough). I put Mystic River on and told her it was Zodiac; we made it a good third of the way through before she realised she'd been duped by a famous Lishman hoodwinking.

:lol:

Online joeyt

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2857 on: Monday 18 November 2019, 07:38:30 PM »
Someone at work: "Did you watch that show on last night about the guy who invented the internet Tim Bernard Matthews?"

Offline madras

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2858 on: Tuesday 26 November 2019, 09:46:11 PM »
So, she's looking at possible christmas praises for the family, she's looking at a voucher type thing for a meal out taster type affair........

Her "..............unlimited horse duvet"

Me "Hors d'oeuvres?"
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline sadnesstan

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2859 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 11:25:31 AM »
Went shopping for a sofa yesterday.

The salesperson showed us one which came with free cushion covers. The missus asked "They're not inflammatory are they?"

He said "No ma'am, they're complimentary"

Offline Greg

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2860 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 02:26:08 PM »
Why are you out shopping for a sofa in the middle of a global pandemic?

Online neesy111

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2861 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 02:33:02 PM »
Why are you out shopping for a sofa in the middle of a global pandemic?

I was about to say the same. :lol:

Offline LFEE

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2862 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 02:41:30 PM »
Why are you out shopping for a sofa in the middle of a global pandemic?

I was about to say the same. :lol:

Well if you are going to be stuck in the house for several months you might as well be comfy :lol:

Offline madras

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2863 on: Thursday 19 March 2020, 02:44:17 PM »
Why are you out shopping for a sofa in the middle of a global pandemic?

I was about to say the same. :lol:

Well if you are going to be stuck in the house for several months you might as well be comfy :lol:
Bet he wasnt even really looking to buy, a cushion kicker.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline madras

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2864 on: Thursday 9 April 2020, 11:33:46 PM »
So, the wife and girl 2 have been whining on about their hair since last summer. Seems like every trip to the shop brings a different shampoo and conditioner, then yesterday she tells me about how she reckons she's solved it and its the pressure of water coming out the shower head. She hadn't realised you had to turn it all the way round like a normal frigging tap, she thought it was like an off/on thing. 8 months its been in.



8 funking months !
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline SheikhShearer

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2865 on: Friday 10 April 2020, 09:02:01 AM »
Got that coronavirus letter from the government through the post the other day. Gave it to wor lass when she came home from work.

"Eurgh"
"What's wrong?"
"Well he's got it hasn't he? He'll have licked that!"

She thought Boris Johnson was personally sealing each envelope.

Offline Haz

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2866 on: Friday 10 April 2020, 12:55:19 PM »
^ Outstanding.
Drinking alcohol never solves anything. But neither does drinking milk.

It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
- William Ernest Henley

Online 54

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2867 on: Tuesday 14 April 2020, 11:00:29 PM »
While watching a Sky Sports clip about the takeover. I explained to her how one of the new owners of the club is going to be a prince from Saudi Arabia. Keith Downie comes on screen, a white guy with an English accent in a British back garden.

"Is that the prince taking over".

Offline SheikhShearer

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2868 on: Wednesday 29 April 2020, 12:34:13 PM »
Found my Gazza and Friends CD the other day. Chucked a photo on twitter with a comment about how terrible it was.

She saw it on my desk and asked "What's that Gazza CD doing there? Isn't he a paedophile?"

:anguish: :anguish:

Offline HaydnNUFC

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2869 on: Friday 1 May 2020, 03:56:54 PM »
Said she thought the Battle of Trafalgar took place in Trafalgar Square and that she didn't know it was between 'boats'. This is a fellow university history student btw.
But...6 in a row. But...Calciopoli.

I reckon Haydn wears pure concentrated pheromones.

Offline SheikhShearer

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2870 on: Wednesday 13 May 2020, 04:48:09 PM »
Found my Gazza and Friends CD the other day. Chucked a photo on twitter with a comment about how terrible it was.

She saw it on my desk and asked "What's that Gazza CD doing there? Isn't he a paedophile?"

:anguish: :anguish:

Just now:

"Guess what I'm listening to?"

"Gary Glitter?"

"Why would I be listening to Gary Glitter?"

"Sorry I meant Gazza"

She's determined to think Gazza is a nonce for some reason :anguish:

Offline Lotus

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2871 on: Tuesday 19 May 2020, 08:58:55 PM »
Youngest is a good kid but it useless with a knife and fork. I joked if she carries on like this we'll have to send her to a Swiss finishing school. Mrs was sat at the table and looked shocked and surprised.
Turned out she thought I was referring to a Euthanasia Clinic......
The aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom, but to set a limit to infinite error.

Offline Jimburst

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2872 on: Tuesday 19 May 2020, 09:00:42 PM »
:lol: :lol:
A splatterhouse turd done in the manky toilets of a discotheque, brought on my the consumption of cowies or toot.

Offline Doc

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2873 on: Tuesday 19 May 2020, 09:22:14 PM »
Got that coronavirus letter from the government through the post the other day. Gave it to wor lass when she came home from work.

"Eurgh"
"What's wrong?"
"Well he's got it hasn't he? He'll have licked that!"

She thought Boris Johnson was personally sealing each envelope.

Kind of in the same vein but a long time ago,
Me, Iv'e got that Pamela Anderson sex tape for later on pet   :naughty:
Her, Eee, does she know you've got it.
Me....

Offline Interpolic

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2874 on: Wednesday 20 May 2020, 05:31:57 PM »
"How is the Michael Jackson documentary?"
":lol: You mean The Last Dance?"
"Yeah..."
"Yeah, it's been good :lol:"

:aww: