Author Topic: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread  (Read 184796 times)

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Online sadnesstan

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2800 on: Saturday 4 August 2018, 10:46:37 am »
I wasn't referring to Crumpy, actually. All the same, good effort.

Offline loki679

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2801 on: Saturday 4 August 2018, 10:48:13 am »
Thanks, stan, means a lot coming from you.
Comfy chairs, beer, and doom. Humanity's future is an early 90s LAN party.

Offline UncleBingo

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2802 on: Saturday 4 August 2018, 11:13:34 am »
Not my lass but many years ago we were on a lads holiday in Crete, and there was a group from Stevenage there.....one lass Tracey (obviously) was a bit of a stunner, but  a nightmare whenever she spoke.

A mate of mine got off with her and did the business and she clamped onto him like a leech. A couple of nights later and a group arrived from Skeggy and we got chatting to them  .....'Ere Skegness, is that where the Skegness Monster is fwom?'

Offline newsted

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2803 on: Saturday 4 August 2018, 03:36:21 pm »
"How do you spell 'archery'?"

Told her.

"That's that thing in my neck, right?"

"ARTERY!"

At least she accepts she's not very good with words and asked the follow-up question. :lol: Bless her. Couldn't figure out how archery had entered her life.
:) As you were.

Offline Shay's Given Tim Flowers

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2804 on: Wednesday 29 August 2018, 09:34:53 am »
"Those blueberries are massive."


They were damsons.

Online TBG

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2805 on: Wednesday 29 August 2018, 09:38:42 am »
Check out this posh c***

Online Jimburst

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2806 on: Wednesday 29 August 2018, 10:05:39 am »
:lol: :lol:
A splatterhouse turd done in the manky toilets of a discotheque, brought on my the consumption of cowies or toot.

Offline Shay's Given Tim Flowers

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2807 on: Wednesday 29 August 2018, 10:09:43 am »
They were on the f***ing pavement.  :lol:

Offline Si

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2808 on: Wednesday 29 August 2018, 12:10:18 pm »
Damn son.
Bearings Straight!

Online TheHoob

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2809 on: Wednesday 29 August 2018, 12:51:19 pm »

Online Kid Icarus

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2810 on: Friday 31 August 2018, 10:06:37 am »
I told her that our dog had set up his own charity called Paws For Thought and she started crying. She's honestly that lass that cried because giraffes can be gay, she cries at everything.
{o,o}
|)__)
-“-“-

Online Jill

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2811 on: Friday 31 August 2018, 12:48:55 pm »
Wait. I thought it was swans that can be gay. If it's giraffes then I need to know.

Online Yorkie

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2812 on: Tuesday 25 September 2018, 09:49:52 pm »
This would definitely be mean to call it stupid, but it cracked me up how adamant she was... the current Freeview TV advert uses David Brent's 'Free Love Freeway' as backing music. She's never watched The Office but goes "oh I love this song, who sings it again?" She tells me to stop f***ing around and just tell her the truth, after I tell her it's Brent. :lol:

Foregone Conclusion, man. :aww:

Offline Chase

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2813 on: Wednesday 26 September 2018, 01:45:37 pm »
"Whats that worm called that lives in wood"

I had to give her a long look to gauge if she was taking the p*ss out of me but yeah, the correct answer was wood worm which she was happy with.

Offline Wullie

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2814 on: Tuesday 27 November 2018, 07:53:43 pm »
Putting a load of baby stuff on eBay:

"This one's 9-12 months, is that UK or US size?"
Jeff's Garage - Cheaper than some other garages.

Offline madras

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2815 on: Tuesday 27 November 2018, 08:55:28 pm »
Only watched the first half last night due to being up at 3am for work so tonight she asked why I wasn't watching the rest. I told her I recorded the second half and watched it on fast forward( still see every touch but it looks like 1910 O'vision) this morning before work with a cuppa.

Her "Well why didn't you do that last night ?"
Me " You mean fast forward live tele ?"
Her "Well why not you can pause it"

You know when you push the balls of your hands into eyes in frustration?

Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline KaKa

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2816 on: Tuesday 27 November 2018, 10:41:24 pm »
Putting a load of baby stuff on eBay:

"This one's 9-12 months, is that UK or US size?"

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline triggs

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2817 on: Tuesday 27 November 2018, 10:44:07 pm »
Only watched the first half last night due to being up at 3am for work so tonight she asked why I wasn't watching the rest. I told her I recorded the second half and watched it on fast forward( still see every touch but it looks like 1910 O'vision) this morning before work with a cuppa.

Her "Well why didn't you do that last night ?"
Me " You mean fast forward live tele ?"
Her "Well why not you can pause it"

You know when you push the balls of your hands into eyes in frustration?
:lol:
"Lots of young fellas runnin' around in shorts, that's the kind of think you like looking at, and I bet you like that too, only you're probably imagining what they'd look like without shorts, you're sitting there imagining that with a big smile on your face, ya dirty fecker"

Online samptime29

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2818 on: Wednesday 28 November 2018, 01:49:04 pm »
Putting a load of baby stuff on eBay:

"This one's 9-12 months, is that UK or US size?"

 :lol: Wat?

Online Kid Icarus

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2819 on: Wednesday 28 November 2018, 02:26:31 pm »
We were planning to go out for a meal for my mam's birthday and just putting it on the credit card with it being just before pay day. So my girlfriend goes "nee wine mind because I need it for other essentials too"

Cut to the following morning and I get a confirmation email from Amazon telling me when my item's arriving. Knowing that I hadn't ordered anything I realise it'll be Laura ordering essentials.

Essentials

Spoiler
[close]
{o,o}
|)__)
-“-“-

Offline triggs

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2820 on: Wednesday 28 November 2018, 02:51:38 pm »
Putting a load of baby stuff on eBay:

"This one's 9-12 months, is that UK or US size?"
Tbf the average 9 month old in America is probably about 8 stone
"Lots of young fellas runnin' around in shorts, that's the kind of think you like looking at, and I bet you like that too, only you're probably imagining what they'd look like without shorts, you're sitting there imagining that with a big smile on your face, ya dirty fecker"

Offline madras

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2821 on: Wednesday 28 November 2018, 02:55:12 pm »
Putting a load of baby stuff on eBay:

"This one's 9-12 months, is that UK or US size?"
Tbf the average 9 month old in America is probably about 8 stone

I did actually check if the sizes were the same  :embarrassed: I mean I thought it was quite possible that there may be some difference.





There's  not.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline Tomato Deuce

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2822 on: Wednesday 28 November 2018, 03:28:53 pm »
Putting a load of baby stuff on eBay:

"This one's 9-12 months, is that UK or US size?"
Tbf the average 9 month old in America is probably about 8 stone


HAHA

Offline La Parka

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2823 on: Wednesday 28 November 2018, 03:58:38 pm »
Murican baby clothes are a bit smaller from my experience. Oshkosh carter's etc are about 3 months smaller in general compared to UK :milner:

Offline Lotus

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Re: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread
« Reply #2824 on: Wednesday 5 December 2018, 11:48:47 am »
Me: What did you learn at school today?

Daughter: We've been learning about Greek myths, like Harpys.

Me: So, tell me what you know about Harpys?

Daughter: Well, they have the face of a woman but they fly and have talons and they live in a cave in Crete.

Wife: What, like a mermaid?

Me:............................wtf?
The aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom, but to set a limit to infinite error.