Poll

Do you?

Yes
209 (91.7%)
No
3 (1.3%)
Urgh
16 (7%)

Total Members Voted: 214

Author Topic: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?  (Read 75976 times)

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Offline The Bonk

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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #50 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:28:24 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

Haha...  my mate is like that too, not sure how you lads do it.  I'm okay on hollies as long as I'm not in a public toilet. 

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #51 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:28:34 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

UUUUURRGGGHHHHH HAHAHA mackems.gif
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Rocker

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #52 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:35:28 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

My sisters husband went without a s*** for three months. He was twelve at the time, he didn't tell anyone. One day his mam asked him why he was pale and couldn't stop moving about, and was generally not himself.

They took him to the doctors and he was prescribed laxatives and stuff, and when he finally did pop, it was too tough to go down the toilet, so his mam and dad had to burn it in the back garden.

Remarkable, but true, story.  :lol:

Offline The Bonk

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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #53 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:35:44 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

UUUUURRGGGHHHHH HAHAHA mackems.gif

How'd it go, mate?  Clean exit?  Hate the splash back when you're dropping multi loafs into the pond.  Rather push the entire thing out in one log.

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #54 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:36:46 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

UUUUURRGGGHHHHH HAHAHA mackems.gif

How'd it go, mate?  Clean exit?  Hate the splash back when you're dropping multi loafs into the pond.  Rather push the entire thing out in one log.

I didnt have one, couldnt force the b****** out unfortunately, ill see it off to the coast in the morning :thup:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline The Bonk

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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #55 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:37:11 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

My sisters husband went without a s*** for three months. He was twelve at the time, he didn't tell anyone. One day his mam asked him why he was pale and couldn't stop moving about, and was generally not himself.

They took him to the doctors and he was prescribed laxatives and stuff, and when he finally did pop, it was too tough to go down the toilet, so his mam and dad had to burn it in the back garden.

Remarkable, but true, story.  :lol:

Words are escaping me right now.  Well, besides the ones that I've written.  ;)  Should have written Guiness World Records at the time.

Offline GeordieMessiah

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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #56 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:37:17 PM »
They took him to the doctors and he was prescribed laxatives and stuff, and when he finally did pop, it was too tough to go down the toilet, so his mam and dad had to burn it in the back garden.

As you would, PB! :lol:

Brilliant!  :laugh:

Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

Offline The Bonk

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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #57 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:38:02 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

UUUUURRGGGHHHHH HAHAHA mackems.gif

How'd it go, mate?  Clean exit?  Hate the splash back when you're dropping multi loafs into the pond.  Rather push the entire thing out in one log.

I didnt have one, couldnt force the b****** out unfortunately, ill see it off to the coast in the morning :thup:

Aye, the sea could be rough at night, wait for the morning calm.  Smart lad, Decklan. 

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #58 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:38:18 PM »
They took him to the doctors and he was prescribed laxatives and stuff, and when he finally did pop, it was too tough to go down the toilet, so his mam and dad had to burn it in the back garden.

That is class :lol:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #59 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:38:39 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

UUUUURRGGGHHHHH HAHAHA mackems.gif

How'd it go, mate?  Clean exit?  Hate the splash back when you're dropping multi loafs into the pond.  Rather push the entire thing out in one log.

I didnt have one, couldnt force the b****** out unfortunately, ill see it off to the coast in the morning :thup:

Aye, the sea could be rough at night, wait for the morning calm.  Smart lad, Decklan. 

Its Declan :razz:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Online La Parka

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  • Up the rail!
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #60 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:39:40 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

GM are you a bigger guy?

I s*** about 3/4 times a day too and my housemates rip me :lol:

One of my housemates (negative mass I tell thee) must s*** once a month or something.

Offline The Bonk

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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #61 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:40:01 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

UUUUURRGGGHHHHH HAHAHA mackems.gif

How'd it go, mate?  Clean exit?  Hate the splash back when you're dropping multi loafs into the pond.  Rather push the entire thing out in one log.

I didnt have one, couldnt force the b****** out unfortunately, ill see it off to the coast in the morning :thup:

Aye, the sea could be rough at night, wait for the morning calm.  Smart lad, Decklan. 

Its Declan :razz:

Your forum name is wrong then, mate.  :D

Offline Decky

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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #62 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:40:11 PM »
4 times a day :lol:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #63 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:41:06 PM »
Your forum name is wrong then, mate.  :D

All Declans are shortened to Decky :razz:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline GeordieMessiah

  • Forum Colossus
  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #64 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:42:31 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

GM are you a bigger guy?

I s*** about 4 times a day too and my housemates rip me :lol:

One of my housemates (negative mass I tell thee) must s*** once a month or something.

Am I a "bigger guy"? :laugh: Nice euphemism, mate. :lol:

See my avatar? That really is what I look like. Seriously. Ask anyone on here that's met me. They'll verify it. :lol:
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

Offline Rocker

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #65 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:43:47 PM »
Another turd based story from the sisters husband.

When he was little, he had a s*** in the bath, and to avoid getting a clip from his mother, he put it in one of his toy boats, and never said anything.

A few weeks later, his uncle (who was staying at his house at the time), was in the bath, and halfway through his soak decided to get the boat out ( :lol:)

A few mins later, the ship takes a mini-tidal wave and the s*** floats out, Uncle aghast.

Just incase anyone knows him (amazingly), he's called Davy and works for Malvern Cooling Systems based in Newcastle  :lol:

Online La Parka

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  • Up the rail!
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #66 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:43:48 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

GM are you a bigger guy?

I s*** about 4 times a day too and my housemates rip me :lol:

One of my housemates (negative mass I tell thee) must s*** once a month or something.

Am I a "bigger guy"? :laugh: Nice euphemism, mate. :lol:

See my avatar? That really is what I look like. Seriously. Ask anyone on here that's met me. They'll verify it. :lol:

You are hairier than Keef? :lol: ;)

I have the frame of a panda :lol:

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
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Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #67 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:44:53 PM »
Your forum name is wrong then, mate.  :D

All Declans are shortened to Decky :razz:

:thup: My humblest apologies, mate. 

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #68 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:45:58 PM »
Another turd based story from the sisters husband.

When he was little, he had a s*** in the bath, and to avoid getting a clip from his mother, he put it in one of his toy boats, and never said anything.

A few weeks later, his uncle (who was staying at his house at the time), was in the bath, and halfway through his soak decided to get the boat out ( :lol:)

A few mins later, the ship takes a mini-tidal wave and the s*** floats out, Uncle aghast.

Just incase anyone knows him (amazingly), he's called Davy and works for Malvern Cooling Systems based in Newcastle  :lol:

That tanker was full of a real stinky load.  :lol: 

Offline GeordieMessiah

  • Forum Colossus
  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #69 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:46:24 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.

GM are you a bigger guy?

I s*** about 4 times a day too and my housemates rip me :lol:

One of my housemates (negative mass I tell thee) must s*** once a month or something.

Am I a "bigger guy"? :laugh: Nice euphemism, mate. :lol:

See my avatar? That really is what I look like. Seriously. Ask anyone on here that's met me. They'll verify it. :lol:

You are hairier than Keef? :lol: ;)

I have the frame of a panda :lol:

In simian terms, I make Keefaz look like a marmoset.
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #70 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:46:36 PM »
This thread is gold, i dont know which posts to quote and give a laughing smiley to :lol: a frame like a panda ffs :lol:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #71 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:47:40 PM »
Another turd based story from the sisters husband.

When he was little, he had a s*** in the bath, and to avoid getting a clip from his mother, he put it in one of his toy boats, and never said anything.

A few weeks later, his uncle (who was staying at his house at the time), was in the bath, and halfway through his soak decided to get the boat out ( :lol:)

A few mins later, the ship takes a mini-tidal wave and the s*** floats out, Uncle aghast.

Just incase anyone knows him (amazingly), he's called Davy and works for Malvern Cooling Systems based in Newcastle  :lol:

mackems.gif brilliant
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Online La Parka

  • Not Leeds Mag
  • General Member
  • Up the rail!
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #72 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:48:14 PM »
This thread is gold, i dont know which posts to quote and give a laughing smiley to :lol: a frame like a panda ffs :lol:

:smug:

Big round face, stumpy limbs and a barrel chest.  :pow:

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #73 on: Tuesday 19 February 2008, 12:15:52 AM »
Abit of a s*** theme gathering on the board tonight i see :smug:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Tooj

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #74 on: Tuesday 19 February 2008, 12:19:08 AM »
I don't agree with public shitting under some circumstances like.

Was at the Metro Centre this evening, having a p*ss as you do (in a public toilet before anyone makes a haha funny.)

Then all you can hear in the bogs, fair enough you expect to hear a bit of splash back if someone's having a s***. But you could just hear him full on groaning while having a s***, I mean full on load noises the whole shishkabang. Wasn't on man. Luckily I stepped up to the plate though and no stage fright occurred, despite the groans of some bloke trying his best to pass what I can only imagine being a s*** the size of an American football.

Either that or some bloke was giving his Marmite Gardens a good going over..... Either way it was just wrong.
"Elsewhere, at worst, modern commercial football could be seen as the mall rather than the circus; insidiously bland, decaffeinated and pre-packed, its relentless formulaic repetition an instrument for disabling consciousness rather than manipulating it."

David Goldblatt