Poll

Do you?

Yes
209 (91.7%)
No
3 (1.3%)
Urgh
16 (7%)

Total Members Voted: 214

Author Topic: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?  (Read 75886 times)

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Offline Kimbo

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #25 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:36:59 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.  Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs. 

Do you just sit there with you pants down doing nothing for a while? The actual push is always very swift for me.

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #26 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:37:10 PM »
Its nothing like a spa :lol:

You've been? 

Isnt a spa just a room full of steam?

That would be the Steam Room.  A spa is a place where (usually) woman go to get their nails, face, skin did.  Whatever else the c***s overcharge for as well. 

Offline La Parka

  • Not Leeds Mag
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  • Up the rail!
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #27 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:37:12 PM »
I have New Scientist in the bog too. Have to read, even if I read it already! :lol:

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #28 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:38:05 PM »
Its nothing like a spa :lol:

You've been? 

Isnt a spa just a room full of steam?

That would be the Steam Room.  A spa is a place where (usually) woman go to get their nails, face, skin did.  Whatever else the c***s overcharge for as well. 

Oh right, probably is like a spa then, i sound so thick with my room full of steam theory :lol:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #29 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:38:25 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.  Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs. 

Do you just sit there with you pants down doing nothing for a while? The actual push is always very swift for me.

Well, usually I'll let it fly (at home), read for a bit, then open the gates for a second round, read a bit more then wipe. 

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #30 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:39:03 PM »
Its nothing like a spa :lol:

You've been? 

Isnt a spa just a room full of steam?

That would be the Steam Room.  A spa is a place where (usually) woman go to get their nails, face, skin did.  Whatever else the c***s overcharge for as well. 

Oh right, probably is like a spa then, i sound so thick with my room full of steam theory :lol:

:lol:  I imagine they have 'em in there too.  :thup:

Offline Dave

  • Administrator
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #31 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:39:32 PM »
There are people that don't? ???

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #32 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:41:12 PM »
There are people that don't? ???

4 people seem disgusted :(
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Kimbo

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #33 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:53:00 PM »

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #34 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:53:36 PM »
Im gonna go and attack the bowl now lads, ill keep yous informed :thup:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline The Bonk

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  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #35 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:56:45 PM »
Im gonna go and attack the bowl now lads, ill keep yous informed :thup:

Make it a healthy offering to the porcelain gods, mate! 

Offline Thespence

  • General Member
  • Just asking questions
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #36 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:57:57 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

Easliy over 5 mins if I have a decent read or something worth flicking through. I used to do about 30 mins with the Football Pink on a Saturday night.
All the greats wear 23: Michael Jordan, Shane Warne, David Beckham & Shola Ameobi

Offline The Bonk

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  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #37 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:00:39 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

Easliy over 5 mins if I have a decent read or something worth flicking through. I used to do about 30 mins with the Football Pink on a Saturday night.

You legend!  Most I've ever done is 15 max.   Me legs were going numb from resting me elbows on 'em. 


Offline Atticus

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #38 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:01:01 PM »
I usually take around a minute, but there is a rare occasion when I can have a "real man" s**** and be stuck on the throne for a good fifteen minutes or so. Even if there's nowt to read. Very relaxing.

LucaAltieri

  • Guest
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #39 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:01:08 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.   Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs. 

Now this raises more questions. Is it best to hover, paper the seat, or just sit and pray you don't die of AIDS?

I've been informed that women favour hovering. (not to be confused with hoovering, which they also love.)

Offline Thespence

  • General Member
  • Just asking questions
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #40 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:03:24 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

Easliy over 5 mins if I have a decent read or something worth flicking through. I used to do about 30 mins with the Football Pink on a Saturday night.

You legend!  Most I've ever done is 15 max.   Me legs were going numb from resting me elbows on 'em. 

With the Pink I would the match report, then the Newcastle page, the ice hockey, rugby, basketball, a quick browse of the Sunderland page & finish off with checking the scorers on the back page & before you I knew I had been there 30 mins+.
All the greats wear 23: Michael Jordan, Shane Warne, David Beckham & Shola Ameobi

Offline La Parka

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  • Up the rail!
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #41 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:04:13 PM »
Never s*** in public, cant relax like I can at home :smug:

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #42 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:07:41 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.    Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs.

Now this raises more questions. Is it best to hover, paper the seat, or just sit and pray you don't die of AIDS?

I've been informed that women favour hovering. (not to be confused with hoovering, which they also love.)

My knees are fuct from skateboarding my entire youth, soz I have to go the paper the seat route and I'm talking a
solid 3-4inch base to sit on. 

Offline GeordieMessiah

  • Forum Colossus
  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #43 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:08:01 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.    Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs.

Now this raises more questions. Is it best to hover, paper the seat, or just sit and pray you don't die of AIDS?

I've been informed that women favour hovering. (not to be confused with hoovering, which they also love.)

Always opt for the covering the whole seat with a thick lining of bog roll option if push comes to shove anyway - prefer not to use public toilets for s***s. Only drawback of this is when you get to the wiping part of the porcess only to realise you've run out of bog roll. That can be a tad problematic. What you need to do in those circumstances of course is flush, wait for the water tank to refill, and then flush again, but this time use the toilet flush as an anal douche (with ample manual assistance). Works a treat.
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

LucaAltieri

  • Guest
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #44 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:11:03 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.    Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs.

Now this raises more questions. Is it best to hover, paper the seat, or just sit and pray you don't die of AIDS?

I've been informed that women favour hovering. (not to be confused with hoovering, which they also love.)

Always opt for the covering the whole seat with a thick lining of bog roll option if push comes to shove anyway - prefer not to use public toilets for s***s. Only drawback of this is when you get to the wiping part of the porcess only to realise you've run out of bog roll. That can be a tad problematic. What you need to do in those circumstances of course is flush, wait for the water tank to refill, and then flush again, but this time use the toilet flush as an anal douche (with ample manual assistance). Works a treat.

Ahhh, the old improvised bidet... should never be attempted using a sink.

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #45 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:21:30 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.    Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs.

Now this raises more questions. Is it best to hover, paper the seat, or just sit and pray you don't die of AIDS?

I've been informed that women favour hovering. (not to be confused with hoovering, which they also love.)

Always opt for the covering the whole seat with a thick lining of bog roll option if push comes to shove anyway - prefer not to use public toilets for s***s. Only drawback of this is when you get to the wiping part of the porcess only to realise you've run out of bog roll. That can be a tad problematic. What you need to do in those circumstances of course is flush, wait for the water tank to refill, and then flush again, but this time use the toilet flush as an anal douche (with ample manual assistance). Works a treat.

Ahhh, the old improvised bidet... should never be attempted using a sink.

My mate shat in a urinal once.  I asked why he didn't bother pissing in the sink, he said he didn't want to wash his hands in the toilet. 


Offline Rocker

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #46 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:23:37 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.    Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs.

Now this raises more questions. Is it best to hover, paper the seat, or just sit and pray you don't die of AIDS?

I've been informed that women favour hovering. (not to be confused with hoovering, which they also love.)

My knees are fuct from skateboarding my entire youth, soz I have to go the paper the seat route and I'm talking a
solid 3-4inch base to sit on. 

Mine are too mate, I skated for about six years. I have the knee's of a fifty year old, I'm only twenty-one.  :lol:

Never stopped me doing out yet like, just ache when I'm cold. Passed my RAF medical, so either I've fooled them, or I'm fine.

Offline Keefaz

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #47 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:24:01 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #48 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:26:57 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.    Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs.

Now this raises more questions. Is it best to hover, paper the seat, or just sit and pray you don't die of AIDS?

I've been informed that women favour hovering. (not to be confused with hoovering, which they also love.)

My knees are fuct from skateboarding my entire youth, soz I have to go the paper the seat route and I'm talking a
solid 3-4inch base to sit on. 

Mine are too mate, I skated for about six years. I have the knee's of a fifty year old, I'm only twenty-one.  :lol:

Never stopped me doing out yet like, just ache when I'm cold. Passed my RAF medical, so either I've fooled them, or I'm fine.

I'm 28 and had to give it up 5 years ago or risk major surgery.  Been okay snowboarding and wakeboarding, but too much of either
and the joints start to get a little creeky.  10 years of competitive Ice hockey didn't help, either.  I'm glad I'm a keeper on my 6 a side
team or I'd be f***ed. 

Offline GeordieMessiah

  • Forum Colossus
  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« Reply #49 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 11:27:34 PM »
Can't crap in a public toilet. Sometimes I can't even s*** on holiday. A week's gone by and I haven't had a dump.

A whole week?

:kasper:

That's incredible! I need to have a dump about 3 or 4 times a day - and I s*** like an elephant too.
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul