Poll

Do you?

Yes
209 (91.7%)
No
3 (1.3%)
Urgh
16 (7%)

Total Members Voted: 214

Author Topic: Do you appreciate a good sh*t?  (Read 75975 times)

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Offline Decky

  • General Member
Do you appreciate a good sh*t?
« on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:07:54 PM »
Usually a s*** is nothing more than something that needs to be done, but picture the scene, you are somewhere were you cant use the toilet, youve a HUGE turtle head, its practically wagging like a tail, eventually you go to the bog and it slides out and depending if you are lucky enough, there is no mess to clean up after wards, not to mention feeling 5 stone lighter :clap2:
« Last Edit: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:39:07 PM by Dave »
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Rocker

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #1 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:09:39 PM »
We've had a few of these threads throughout the years, and I think it was universal.


Do people HAVE to find something to read (even if its just the back of the Cif bottle?)

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #2 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:09:59 PM »
Someday's it the only solace I'm able to seek.  :thup: 

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #3 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:10:31 PM »
I dont read at all, im usually in, do the business and out again, quickly quickly, maybe i should sit and enjoy it more with a book or something?
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #4 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:10:59 PM »
We've had a few of these threads throughout the years, and I think it was universal.


Does people HAVE to find something to read (even if its just the back of the Cif bottle?)

Always, always, always read something, even if I have to take off my shirt and read the f***ing washing instructions. 

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #5 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:11:42 PM »
:lol:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Keefaz

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #6 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:13:03 PM »
Aye, you need something. I sometimes have a quick blast of Boggle on the mobile.

Offline Kimbo

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #7 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:13:07 PM »
Absolutely! :thup:

Offline Incognito

  • General Member
  • Get your hands off me you freak
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #8 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:13:10 PM »
We've had a few of these threads throughout the years, and I think it was universal.


Does people HAVE to find something to read (even if its just the back of the Cif bottle?)

Always, always, always read something, even if I have to take off my shirt and read the f***ing washing instructions. 

Ive resorted to the Yellow Pages on occasion.
RIP gejon/cajun/ Jon Lockwood.

Proud to have made your acquaintance Sir.

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #9 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:14:50 PM »
We've had a few of these threads throughout the years, and I think it was universal.


Does people HAVE to find something to read (even if its just the back of the Cif bottle?)

Always, always, always read something, even if I have to take off my shirt and read the f****** washing instructions. 

Ive resorted to the Yellow Pages on occasion.

To the Dung section poooohaps? 

*pun intended.  :thup:

Online Yorkie

  • General Member
  • Supporting Stilton at the Cheese World Cup
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #10 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:15:28 PM »
Good s***s are ace. s*** s***s are f***ing annoying. Cold toilet seats are f***ing annoying too, especially at this time of year during the night, when the seats are like -3 all the time. But a banging good s*** is mint. :thup:

Don't read though. Can't really concentrate. ???

Offline Disco

  • General Member
  • Newcastle
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #11 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:17:27 PM »
Always need something to read/do, even if it means prolonging the tension/danger of shitting yourself to go and find something to read/do

Offline Keefaz

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #12 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:18:40 PM »
Good s***s are ace. s*** s***s are f***ing annoying. Cold toilet seats are f***ing annoying too, especially at this time of year during the night, when the seats are like -3 all the time. But a banging good s*** is mint. :thup:

Don't read though. Can't really concentrate. ???

Aye. I don't think I'd keep War & Peace in the bog, like. I have a few of those What Do Wasps Eat-, Schotts' Miscellany-type books in the toilet area.

Offline GeordieMessiah

  • Forum Colossus
  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #13 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:19:04 PM »
I hate it when having a s*** means giving blood. I hate that b****** Farmer Giles. :dave:
Whether it's God or the bomb
It's just the same
It's only fear under another name
And the corporate snakes coming in to feed
On that pathetic fact known as human greed
Skin and bone being raked over those hot coals
This dump never seems to give time for human soul

Offline Fugazi

  • General Member
  • NE28
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #14 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:19:13 PM »
A copy of Viz is usually my toilet reading, if I feel i'm in it for the long haul.
Consider winning

Offline Rocker

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #15 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:20:13 PM »
I hate it when having a s*** means giving blood. I hate that b****** Farmer Giles. :dave:

Get some cream man. Or get yer lacka bands oot.

Offline Nobody

  • General Member
  • That chick was like the Pele of anal
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #16 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:21:38 PM »
Just want to get it over with as soon as possible. Having a s*** is massively overrated

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #17 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:21:52 PM »
Is it possible to heal a cut on your ass btw? Constant wiping and shitting tear away at the cut :(
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline Thespence

  • General Member
  • Just asking questions
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #18 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:22:02 PM »
I find the Metro newspaper is ideal bog reading, nothing to heavy & the quick interview is ideal for a quick ploop & go.
All the greats wear 23: Michael Jordan, Shane Warne, David Beckham & Shola Ameobi

Offline Rocker

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #19 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:24:26 PM »
I've got New Scientist and Focus in the bog.

Karl Pilkingtons 'Happy slapped by a jellyfish' has been a mainstay since September.

Offline Kimbo

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #20 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:29:13 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #21 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:33:22 PM »
I've no idea why people read on the bog, i mean how long are you spending in there???! :undecided:

At home, at least 5-10 minutes is needed for complete solitude.  Plus the floors of my bathrooms are
heated, it's like being at the spa.  Well, I've never been to a spa, so I reckon it's like the spa. 


edit:  I don't s*** in public, but if there's absolutely no way around it, I'm in and out as quick as possible.  Well, I spend
about 2 min building a fortress of bogg roll to rest me arse on.  God knows who uses the Starbucks boggs. 

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #22 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:34:11 PM »
Its nothing like a spa :lol:
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.

Offline The Bonk

  • General Member
  • ⬆ Sorted.
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #23 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:35:18 PM »
Its nothing like a spa :lol:

You've been? 

Offline Decky

  • General Member
Re: Do you appreciate a good s***?
« Reply #24 on: Monday 18 February 2008, 10:35:43 PM »
Steve Bruce, liar, s*** manager and general prick.