Author Topic: This bug a lot of people seem to have...  (Read 19963 times)

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Offline Stevie

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This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 09:42:32 AM »
On Thursday, I woke up about 12, felt right as rain, absolutely tickety-boo and in a great mood, as I'd just got told I had a job interview for Monday, for a position I really want.

My mothers pal, has just had a knee operation, so I had to take her some groceries down at 1pm, about 10 mins walk. Half way down, out of the blue I had to stop, you know when you just have to stop in case you s*** yourself and sometimes it goes away. It was a crippling pain in my stomach but it receeded for a minute or two so I walked another 100 yards. Then it happened. I could see it coming out the bottom of my tracksuit bottoms, didn't look like s**** just all watery s****. I was 5 mins from home, 5 mins from Theresa's so I couldn't well go to a woman's house, when I'd s*** meself. So I had to waddle back up the hill walking like I was doing the Beardsley shuffle all the way home.

I got home and since then I've not been able to eat anything but a bit of fish, on the Thursday night I was shaking like f***, I'd go to the toilet one minute and have to run across the landing the next because I needed another s****, honestly in the last 72 hours I reckon I've had in excess of 150 visits to the toilet, I've already been once writing this. I honestly felt that ill on Thursday I thought I was Britain's first victim of BIRD FLU. I had some fish last night but it's repeating on me.

I can't sleep properly or f*** all, looking at this monitor hurts me eyes, and I'm gonna try and rest all day today. Here we go I need another s**** brb. f*** sake.

Why am I telling you this? To warn you, it might be in the post, half this streets got it, honestly it wouldn't have been a bad idea to buy some pampers in the last few days, but according to the doctor it's sweeping all over the country.

I hope yous don't get it I'm not even going to the match tomorrow because of it.
f*** off Kingdawson you c***

Offline Sparks

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #1 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 09:49:14 AM »
Might I advise a visit to the doctor.

Gemmill

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #2 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 09:50:02 AM »
You s*** yourself. :lol:

Offline PM

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #3 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 09:59:20 AM »
Viral form of gastroenteritis apparently.  My mother and aunt were struck down with it.

Offline sicsfingeredmong

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  • The poster formerly known as Shaman.
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #4 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 10:11:23 AM »
You s*** yourself. :lol:

My thoughts exactly.
A senior dressing room figure admitted.

"Everyone was put up for sale in August. That caused mistrust. Nobody knew what the future was after that. People started looking for a way out after that. You would though, wouldn't you?"

The downside when applying Ashley's Sports World's 'Clearance Sale' mentality to football club ownership. The beginning of the player revolt when applying the 'Pile 'em High, Sell 'em cheap' sales merchant - for which Ashley is: an el-cheapo Sales Merchant..... a glorified scam artist of sorts - ideology to football club ownership

The aftermath: Keegan......... gone. Given......... as good as gone. Club stalwarts.

Throw Owen into the mix of those who seek greener pastures.

Who else will crawl out of the woodwork?

Offline Stevie

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #5 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 10:13:31 AM »
You s*** yourself. :lol:

Well I'm not ashamed of it, I'm ill!  Besides every person, I don't care who you are, has shat themselves at some point in their life.

Viral form of gastroenteritis apparently. My mother and aunt were struck down with it.

How long did it take to clear up?  Honestly I'm not even going to put a football bet on today, in case I cake it on the way to the bookies.  Such a horrible feeling man.
f*** off Kingdawson you c***

Offline Cajun

  • General Member
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #6 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 10:16:31 AM »
You s*** yourself. :lol:

 bluelaugh.gif

had gastroenteritis before, not nice at all. Went to the doctors after a week and he told my mum i was the worst person he had ever seen in the surgery, i was so ill after not eating and sh*ting whatever i had inside of me i couldnt even remmeber going to the dr's!

Offline sicsfingeredmong

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  • The poster formerly known as Shaman.
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #7 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 10:18:02 AM »
You s*** yourself. :lol:

Well I'm not ashamed of it, I'm ill!  Besides every person, I don't care who you are, has shat themselves at some point in their life.

Viral form of gastroenteritis apparently. My mother and aunt were struck down with it.

How long did it take to clear up?  Honestly I'm not even going to put a football bet on today, in case I cake it on the way to the bookies.   Such a horrible feeling man.


 bluelaugh.gif   bluelaugh.gif ........................ priceless.
A senior dressing room figure admitted.

"Everyone was put up for sale in August. That caused mistrust. Nobody knew what the future was after that. People started looking for a way out after that. You would though, wouldn't you?"

The downside when applying Ashley's Sports World's 'Clearance Sale' mentality to football club ownership. The beginning of the player revolt when applying the 'Pile 'em High, Sell 'em cheap' sales merchant - for which Ashley is: an el-cheapo Sales Merchant..... a glorified scam artist of sorts - ideology to football club ownership

The aftermath: Keegan......... gone. Given......... as good as gone. Club stalwarts.

Throw Owen into the mix of those who seek greener pastures.

Who else will crawl out of the woodwork?

Offline PM

  • General Member
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #8 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 10:19:51 AM »
You s*** yourself. :lol:

Well I'm not ashamed of it, I'm ill! Besides every person, I don't care who you are, has shat themselves at some point in their life.

Viral form of gastroenteritis apparently. My mother and aunt were struck down with it.

How long did it take to clear up? Honestly I'm not even going to put a football bet on today, in case I cake it on the way to the bookies. Such a horrible feeling man.

It flared up overnight Monday-Tuesday and she was still feeling pretty weak yesterday.  But today she's out shopping :roll:

Offline Geordie Boot Boy

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #9 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 12:51:18 PM »

Offline NE6

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #10 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 04:42:36 PM »
Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.

Offline Disco

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #11 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 04:48:43 PM »
Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.
haha bluebiggrin.gif

Offline Cajun

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Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #12 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 04:48:55 PM »
This is turning into a "times i sh*t myself" thread :lol:


Offline Andy

  • Administrator
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #13 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 05:03:32 PM »
My mothers pal, has just had a knee operation, so I had to take her some groceries down at 1pm

"Groceries"..? Yeah, right.

Cleverly diguised "I'm shagging an old person with a dodgy knee" thread tbh.

Offline NE6

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  • Forum Member
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #14 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 05:04:14 PM »
Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.
haha bluebiggrin.gif

Didn't find it that funny, had to get back in the shower. Wor lass probably won't find it very funny either when she peels my kegs out the washing basket.

Online Jimburst

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  • Yeah Buddy!
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #15 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 08:18:24 PM »
Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.
haha bluebiggrin.gif

Didn't find it that funny, had to get back in the shower. Wor lass probably won't find it very funny either when she peels my kegs out the washing basket.

lmao!
A splatterhouse turd done in the manky toilets of a discotheque, brought on my the consumption of cowies or toot.

Offline The College Dropout

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  • The Look Of Satisfaction
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #16 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 10:19:10 PM »
Funniest thread of the year!!!

As long as you can walk shitting or pissing yourself is always very funny.

Micktoon

  • Guest
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #17 on: Saturday 18 March 2006, 11:40:34 PM »
Funniest thread of the year!!!

As long as you can walk shitting or pissing yourself is always very funny.

Agree, literally lmao.

optimistic nit

  • Guest
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #18 on: Sunday 19 March 2006, 12:23:40 AM »
Just followed through this morning whilst watching My name is Earl, nothing to do with Illness though, due to the amount of snakebite i consumed last night.


what screwed up life do you lead if my name is earl is on in your morning?

Snoopy

  • Guest
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #19 on: Sunday 19 March 2006, 01:57:23 AM »
Didn't find it that funny, had to get back in the shower. Wor lass probably won't find it very funny either when she peels my kegs out the washing basket.
Oh the joys of having a man in your life! Yuck! Your poor lass! :(
:D Very funny all the same though!

Snoopy

  • Guest
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #20 on: Sunday 19 March 2006, 02:03:35 AM »
PS. Have you lads got no sympathy in this thread? bluelaugh.gif

Whist I did laugh at the way this story was told, I do hope that stevie gets better soon, poor bugger sounds ill and you lot are all peeing yourself laughing at the other end of your computers....no...infact you are rolling on the floor peeing yourselves laughing! Have some sympathy on a poor lad,  man!

bluelaugh.gif

Offline sicsfingeredmong

  • General Member
  • The poster formerly known as Shaman.
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #21 on: Sunday 19 March 2006, 04:45:09 AM »
PS. Have you lads got no sympathy in this thread? bluelaugh.gif

Whist I did laugh at the way this story was told, I do hope that stevie gets better soon, poor bugger sounds ill and you lot are all peeing yourself laughing at the other end of your computers....no...infact you are rolling on the floor peeing yourselves laughing! Have some sympathy on a poor lad,  man!

bluelaugh.gif

Quoted for truth     bluewink.gif
A senior dressing room figure admitted.

"Everyone was put up for sale in August. That caused mistrust. Nobody knew what the future was after that. People started looking for a way out after that. You would though, wouldn't you?"

The downside when applying Ashley's Sports World's 'Clearance Sale' mentality to football club ownership. The beginning of the player revolt when applying the 'Pile 'em High, Sell 'em cheap' sales merchant - for which Ashley is: an el-cheapo Sales Merchant..... a glorified scam artist of sorts - ideology to football club ownership

The aftermath: Keegan......... gone. Given......... as good as gone. Club stalwarts.

Throw Owen into the mix of those who seek greener pastures.

Who else will crawl out of the woodwork?

Offline Stevie

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  • aboot your level
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #22 on: Sunday 19 March 2006, 09:28:23 AM »
PS. Have you lads got no sympathy in this thread? bluelaugh.gif

Whist I did laugh at the way this story was told, I do hope that stevie gets better soon, poor bugger sounds ill and you lot are all peeing yourself laughing at the other end of your computers....no...infact you are rolling on the floor peeing yourselves laughing! Have some sympathy on a poor lad,  man!

bluelaugh.gif

Thank you snoopy.

Although I didn't write it for sympathy, just to warn people that this is becoming almost an epidemic in this area according to the doctors.  This household has been through 19 bog rolls in the last 3 days, thats how bad it's been, I think I'm starting to get over the worst but I'm still bad.  Certainly though I can't fart with confidence yet.
f*** off Kingdawson you c***

Offline BlufPurdi

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  • Speaking truth to stupid since 2005.
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #23 on: Sunday 19 March 2006, 09:37:53 AM »
Certainly though I can't fart with confidence yet.

 crylaughin.gif

You have my sympathy, been there before.  Fortunately not in a long, long time though. 
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We create our own Heaven. We create our own Hell. We are the architects of our own fate.
Student says " I am very discouraged. What should I do?" Master says, "encourage others."
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
It takes a wise man to learn from his mistakes, but an even wiser man to learn from others.
This is what should be done. By one who is skilled in goodness, and who knows the path of peace: Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech. Humble and not conceited, contented and easily satisfied. Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways. Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful, not proud and demanding in nature. Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.

Snoopy

  • Guest
Re: This bug a lot of people seem to have...
« Reply #24 on: Sunday 19 March 2006, 11:05:47 AM »
Thank you snoopy.

Although I didn't write it for sympathy, just to warn people that this is becoming almost an epidemic in this area according to the doctors. This household has been through 19 bog rolls in the last 3 days, thats how bad it's been, I think I'm starting to get over the worst but I'm still bad. Certainly though I can't fart with confidence yet.
:) I know you were writing it to warn everyone, very nice of you to do so when you are sitting there almost nearly crapping yourself all of the time.

Sounds like you and your family have had a really horrible time of it, its really awful to feel ill like that and keep having to go to the toilet. Hope it clears up properly soon and you are much better. Are you still going for the job interview or are you not gonna risk it?

Your bit about farting with confidence DID make me laugh though, I gotta admit!! bluelaugh.gif