Author Topic: Experiences of depression and anxiety  (Read 105349 times)

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Offline madras

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #25 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 09:53:12 am »
I've suffered with depression twice in the last few years, with the second episode being much worse than the first. Its kinda still there from day to day in different forms, but I've started to notice things when it could become a problem and take action to solve the issues which may be causing it. Funnily enough my second episode happened at the most stable part of my life, when I'd moved in with my future wife, had a solid job etc, so it is not always social circumstances that determines how depression can take hold.

I still suffer with anxiety, and it is all tied up with over thinking every situation and automatically jumping to the worst conclusion possible. If I think about things in the right frame of mind then I usually come to a conclusion that doesn't affect my mood, however sometimes its like I get stuck in a hole and I just get more and more negative, which leads to depressive thoughts. For example if my missus can't sleep she will not worry about it, and just relax and will eventually fall asleep. I'll lie there thinking that I'm never going to get to sleep, and that I'm gonna be useless at work the next day, if I dont sleep i will make a mistake etc.

I have managed these thoughts with the support of my wife to be, a bit of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and a bit of Counselling. My missus kinda made me realise a lot of what was getting me down was created by myself, and that only I can determine my reactions to events which happen. Once I kept that thought in my head I managed to turn in around. The medications they gave me didn't seem to help and the side effects were worse.
thats my wife. i was struggling yesterday to phrase what she is like but you've nailed it right there.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline La Parka

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #26 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 10:00:03 am »
Glad to help, btw support her because it f***ing sucks, and is difficult to avoid doing it when you've done it all your life.

Offline madras

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #27 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 10:03:09 am »
Glad to help, btw support her because it f***ing sucks, and is difficult to avoid doing it when you've done it all your life.
easier said than done. it's so annoying and frustrating for a devout rationalist like myself that even when stuff is broken down and explained  she'll still freak out over the most trivial stuff that she'll twist in her mind.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline La Parka

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #28 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 10:12:27 am »
Glad to help, btw support her because it f***ing sucks, and is difficult to avoid doing it when you've done it all your life.
easier said than done. it's so annoying and frustrating for a devout rationalist like myself that even when stuff is broken down and explained  she'll still freak out over the most trivial stuff that she'll twist in her mind.

You sound like my missus :lol:

Offline Beren

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #29 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 10:17:38 am »
Erm, wife swap? :whistle:

Offline Clay

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #30 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 10:18:10 am »
Had depression on and off for the past 6 years with anxiety/panic as a constant feature in varying forms of severity.

Pretty much completely controlled my life for a few years but bit by bit I started to deal with it a little bit. Still prone to a few big set backs but every time it gets a little quicker to claw yourself out. Don't think I'll ever be 'free' from it though although hopefully one day I might wake up enlightened or some s*** :lol:

I know it sounds cheesy but it's something you'd genuinely wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

Offline La Parka

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #31 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 10:20:35 am »
« Last Edit: Monday 28 November 2011, 11:17:39 am by La Parka »

Online Jill

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #32 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 12:26:25 pm »
My dad has suffered depression for about the last 15 years or so, initially beginning after my granda died but then later he had problems at work which was when it escalated. It all culminated in an attempted overdose about a year and a half ago. Thankfully there were no lasting effects and he's moved on mentally as well as taking early retirement and making a few other changes. He's an alcoholic as well though and my step mother also has mental health issues so it's a constant cycle of good times and bad times for them. Such a shame because he was a really intelligent and interesting man yet to most people now he's just a drunken old mess.

I often feel I have very similar traits myself and have had some really, really low moments coupled with excessive drinking (still something I need to sort out tbh) but my experiences with my dad have actually taught me a lot about how to handle certain situations and try and prevent them happening again.

Like several others I get very annoyed when people overuse the term 'depression' or come out with the 'snap out of it' mentality because it's absolutely not that straightforward.

Offline cp40

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #33 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 01:13:07 pm »
Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me.  I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF" 

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,




 :'(  f*** me mate, had no idea.




I was a Technical/ Nvq instructor in a training centre for 10 years, for people with mental Health problems. Ive seen what happened with Gary Speed Too many times. :(

Offline madras

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #34 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 01:18:56 pm »
Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me.  I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF" 

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,




 :'(  f*** me mate, had no idea.




I was a Technical/ Nvq instructor in a training centre for 10 years, for people with mental Health problems. Ive seen what happened with Gary Speed Too many times. :(

i thought you two were brothers ?
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Offline cp40

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #35 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 01:30:30 pm »
Nearly done myself in while I was in my early 20s, had no job, felt like I had no prospects, left school with no qualifications, was on the dole and the lass I was seeing finished me.  I was in a pretty bad way, was a bit drunk one night, picked up some of my old mans pills and necked a s*** load of them...luckily for me they were nothing serious.

Told my old man who was "whoooaaa WTF" 

Went to the doctors and they were equally shocked but from that moment I think I scared myself that I could have actually ended it all,




 :'(  f*** me mate, had no idea.




I was a Technical/ Nvq instructor in a training centre for 10 years, for people with mental Health problems. Ive seen what happened with Gary Speed Too many times. :(

i thought you two were brothers ?


just goes to show madras, tho we saw very little of each other 15 years ago, when my kids were babies, maybe once a fortnight on a sunday at my mams.

CheickMansour

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #36 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 01:31:18 pm »
On and off depression for years. Runs in my family, everyone on my dad's side has had some sort of depressive episode at some point in their life.


Offline Incognito

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #37 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 01:44:45 pm »
I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
RIP gejon/cajun/ Jon Lockwood.

Proud to have made your acquaintance Sir.

Offline cp40

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #38 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:04:45 pm »
I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.


been through exactly the same billy with my three kids, 8 years ago. do they live far away?

Offline Incognito

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #39 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:08:48 pm »
I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.


been through exactly the same billy with my three kids, 8 years ago. do they live far away?

5 minutes walk mate, but she's adamant I cannot see him during the week. I have to make do with nightly phone calls to say night to him..
RIP gejon/cajun/ Jon Lockwood.

Proud to have made your acquaintance Sir.

Offline BlufPurdi

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #40 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:17:43 pm »
Spoken at length down the years of my struggles with it, not sure I want to again, especially with my latest brush after splitting up recently.  Would agree with anyone that shares the frustration at the "man up" type of sentiments that pervade the minds of others, but sadly you have to realise that it stems from those that like to self-diagnose themselves with depression because they've had a bit of a shitty time and in turn gives relevance to that approach.  Hate that people try to sum up suicide as a selfish act (and Joey Barton is far from the only one, I've seen it on here before as well as everywhere, and everybody), when really the sheer desperation and misery that goes through your mind is beyond anything words can actually describe.  Logic goes out the window.

Never be fooled by someone's overt happiness.  That's not to second guess anyone that is a happy-go-lucky person, but we often go out of our way to hide it.  Especially when you're considering drastic measures.  I, as recently as August, attempted to take my life after a massive blow out with my ex, I was pretty blitzed, but I knew what the argument spelt out.  She is, until now I guess (obviously), the only person that knows about it and that's only because she caught me in the middle of it.  If it hadn't been for me blaring music at 1am, she'd never have come in and noticed.  As a result I'm back in counselling and thankfully on the way back to recovery with the help of mates as much as anybody.  But it still frightens me that I seem to drift in and out of it.  I also guess that's why I'm going out of my way to help my ex, despite her less than appropriate behaviour towards the end of us, as she's really struggling and spiralling into misery herself. 

So sorry to hear that, Billy.  Hope you get through it soon.
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We create our own Heaven. We create our own Hell. We are the architects of our own fate.
Student says " I am very discouraged. What should I do?" Master says, "encourage others."
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
It takes a wise man to learn from his mistakes, but an even wiser man to learn from others.
This is what should be done. By one who is skilled in goodness, and who knows the path of peace: Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech. Humble and not conceited, contented and easily satisfied. Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways. Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful, not proud and demanding in nature. Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.

Offline Ian W

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #41 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:23:38 pm »
Good luck to Billy and Bluf, sounds like tough times for you both. Wish you all the strength in the world.

I genuinely find it hard to understand the feelings of real depression, and how it might lead someone to drastic measures. Intellectually I know it's possible and I understand that it happens to people, but emotionally I'm not sure I really understand what those feelings must be like.

Offline Neil

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #42 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:26:43 pm »
Good luck to Billy and Bluf, sounds like tough times for you both. Wish you all the strength in the world.

I genuinely find it hard to understand the feelings of real depression, and how it might lead someone to drastic measures. Intellectually I know it's possible and I understand that it happens to people, but emotionally I'm not sure I really understand what those feelings must be like.

This. All I can add is that a common theme I'm seeing is the importance of people in the whole process. Being able to talk about it to family, friends, anyone, seems to be so vital in trying to get your head around it and attempting to move forward.
Thomas the Tank Engine is a f***ing c***.

Offline BlufPurdi

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #43 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:30:29 pm »
Would have to add, medication has helped me.  Sometimes people suffer from a chemical imbalance, and I reckon I'm one of those as I've had CBT enough down the years to know what I should be doing.  It just doesn't work for me.
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We create our own Heaven. We create our own Hell. We are the architects of our own fate.
Student says " I am very discouraged. What should I do?" Master says, "encourage others."
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
It takes a wise man to learn from his mistakes, but an even wiser man to learn from others.
This is what should be done. By one who is skilled in goodness, and who knows the path of peace: Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech. Humble and not conceited, contented and easily satisfied. Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways. Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful, not proud and demanding in nature. Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.

Offline pi_D

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #44 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:36:04 pm »
Not depression, but suffered with Health Anxiety and panic disorders since I was about 18, the year my Dad died.


Horrible and feel very lonely at times, even with everyone rallying around me.



On the right track now though, and only have the occasional lapse every now and then. Counselling helped. Never took the meds they gave me, always thought it was best to talk everything though.

weird, it's my first post on here. I am very similar. Lost my dad nearly 5 years ago. About 3 years after his death i started getting panic attacks. I had basiclly turned in on myself in terms of confidence etc since he died but I didnt realise it. Blocked off everything emotionally.

Panic attacks made me get help, and actually stopped me getting worse. I went to a councilor and they were great. I avoided the medicine but I only advise avoiding that if you think you can. THere is nothing wrong with using the crutch before you walk without one.

So Im much better these days. Still have negative thinking patterns but it's getting back to normall.

What was massive for me was being more in touch with my friends and family, dont be afraid to tell people you enjoy their company and appreciate being mates. I started benig more outgoing *emotionally* (i was always the outgoing type, and confident in appearance), but i would rarely let on when i was sad, and i didnt cry once when my dad died....that was a clear sign. I cry now when i think of him and it feels great to do it, nearly 5 years after I am only now letting my emotions have their way every so often.

Panic attacks scared the s*** out of me, before them I thought I was 100% sound mentally and could overcome any obstacle in my life. Then bang, cant controll this s***.... it's scary, like proper scary.

Anyway, it can be overcome, ultimately I feel I lost confidence in who I was, because I blocked out my emotions after the death of my dad (coupled with being screwed over straight after this by a girl i 'loved'), and began to put myself down for various reasons. I was too negative about myself. Strengthening relationships with my mam, and brothers, friends and importantly myself (all through the help of counseling) have made the world of difference. It's like I was becoming disconnected from the people around me,  I had to purposely rebuild al that, but it worked.

One last thing, if you go to a counsellor do not be afraid to talk about *anything* that may be bothering you, no matter what it is - get it off your chest. Avoid s*** councellors, if they are being condescending or crappy to you, get a different one. THere are s*** ones out there, the right one makes a huge difference, it's all about trust and confidence in their advice.

If anyone is suffering from panic attacks, you can get over it and become a happy person again, it's tough, it takes time and effort, but completely and 100% possible :P :)

Offline Incognito

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #45 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:38:36 pm »
I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't contemplated taking my own life, but I truly couldn't let my son have to bear that. He is all that matters to me.
RIP gejon/cajun/ Jon Lockwood.

Proud to have made your acquaintance Sir.

Offline Ian W

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #46 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:43:54 pm »
I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't contemplated taking my own life, but I truly couldn't let my son have to bear that. He is all that matters to me.

Stupid question Billy, but does your wife not understand what the situation is doing to you in any way? Find it hard to understand how someone can act like that.

Offline Beren

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #47 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:46:49 pm »
Good luck to Billy and Bluf, sounds like tough times for you both. Wish you all the strength in the world.

^

Also to pi_D. Welcome to (posting on) the forum :)

Offline Ronaldo

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #48 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:47:48 pm »
I'm astonished that so many people on here have suffered from it, like. :(

Always saw it as a disease for 45-year-old divorcees with nothing to entertain themselves but oven gloves.

Offline cp40

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Re: Experiences of depression and anxiety
« Reply #49 on: Monday 28 November 2011, 02:47:51 pm »
I have it now, with my wife leaving me and only being able to see my beloved son at weekends. I cry at will, and it doesn't matter where I cry either... I've seen a counsellor but tbh, it isnt getting easier. It's especially worst before my wife comes to pick up my son to take him back and lasts throughout the week until Friday when I collect him from school.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.


been through exactly the same billy with my three kids, 8 years ago. do they live far away?

5 minutes walk mate, but she's adamant I cannot see him during the week. I have to make do with nightly phone calls to say night to him..

ah, ok mate. you could see what I was getting at. I found Sunday- till the following saturday hard, but it was helped by occaisionally helping out during the week. Its good that you can speak to him each night.