Daft questions (football edition)

 

We used to play with this orange cricket/hockey ball at Ivy Road, it was step up from the tennis ball we used to play with. Then someone bought a football in, but he turned into a right little Hitler and thought he was manager of the yard 'I'll pick the teams, it's my ball'. 

Do youths still play these games? As in, outside amongst all the health and safety risks and paedophiles?

 

see the Facebook thread in general chat, things done changed. You have reminded me of a particularly nasty P.E. teacher we used to have who used to moan that kids would rather play computer games than be out playing football. Unfortunately living in the countryside the only pitches that were available to be used were the school pitches and despite only ever really needing one pitch (there were 4 btw) the same P.E. teacher used to forbid people from using any school pitches outside of school hours.

it was mad in primary school like.  To any normal human being, it just looked like the side of a building, few drainpipes and a window ledge but to a 10 year-old those two drainpipes and that window ledge made a goal.

it was mad in primary school like.  To any normal human being, it just looked like the side of a building, few drainpipes and a window ledge but to a 10 year-old those two drainpipes and that window ledge made a goal.

 

Back of Palmersville chippy there's a similar type of deal. Two drain pipes, a wall, and going diagonally across another drainpipe with a metal casing around it - That's the GK. Hours were spent shooting against that wall to beat the GK. To the left were little mini concrete bollard things, those were defenders/the wall to practice freekicks over.

it was mad in primary school like.  To any normal human being, it just looked like the side of a building, few drainpipes and a window ledge but to a 10 year-old those two drainpipes and that window ledge made a goal.

 

Back of Palmersville chippy there's a similar type of deal. Two drain pipes, a wall, and going diagonally across another drainpipe with a metal casing around it - That's the GK. Hours were spent shooting against that wall to beat the GK. To the left were little mini concrete bollard things, those were defenders/the wall to practice freekicks over.

 

Bottom of my street were some garages, if no one wanted to go in goal we used 2 of the garages as goals, the bricks that seperated the garages were the 'keeper, as were the big long hinges and locks.  Cue the 'nah, hit the hinge' ... 'did it f***' ... 'not playing anymore' arguments.

 

Funny the things you'd do as a kid for a kick about.

For a bit we played Football Italia, was also known as foul football. Horrible game. Luckily we were all small enough to not hurt anybody.

 

Hackies! Football Italia is a much better name.

Did anyone ever have the misfortune of playing at Keegan Park in Killy? It's how I still imagine Compton.

Man, I can still remember the fury at the dinnerladies telling us all to go in. f***ing shut up man, we're just putting pressure on 'em. Alas, they never understood. Lunchtime matches were always best when they finished like 2-1, or something. Our group of lads actually had plenty of close games - they were quite high octane.

 

I find it interesting, the whole 'tier' of footballing ability. For example, of the 14/15 of us that played every lunchtime, I was probably the 2nd/3rd best or something, and I'm s***. I got a token invite to the actual school matches, just to fill up the numbers. The team captain of our school team was my best friend around the ages of 3-10 - we learnt how to kick a football together. He turned into a class player by age 13, no one could touch him. The lad never made it beyond York City Under-18s and occasionally warms the bench for Pickering Town.

 

Then, like, imagine how badly you'd get beaten by Kidderminster Reserves, or whatever. I would love to have a kickaround with Mike Williamson, James Perch, Danny Simpson and co, just to witness how badly beaten I would get by players I call 's***' (context obviously goes out the window at times).

 

It just makes you wonder how the f*** the best players get so f***ing good. Football is a unique sport; I reckon if I played snooker or golf every single day from the ages of 3 to 18 (like I did with footy, pretty much), I would be a great player. Football's just different though. I firmly believe that you must just be born with world class footballing ability; it's got to be some kind of gift.

 

(Deep.)

 

The bit in Fever Pitch about Gus Caesar is really good. You know, you have to be essentially one of the two or three best in your city to get to that level, miles and miles better than anyone, yet you can get on the stage and still be hopelessly out of your depth.

 

I was very good as a kid - played County Schools (for Middlesex, which has a LOT of kids) and partnered a guy at school at CB who captained England schoolboys and went on to play for Norwich and a couple of others. Yet I never really got close to playing semi-pro. Only one guy from our Sunday team did. I was one of the best two or three in our team, and one of the others was a guy who was fantastically talented, yet a hardcore smoker (and some more). He played youth for someone (Orient I think) but it was neither of us. It was a guy who didn't seem to have a lot of talent at all, but had looked after himself - would run the odd marathon, had some pace. He told me about it, but hardly anyone else - he seemed almost sheepish, couldn't believe it. I remember we'd talk about his Saturday game in the pub after Sunday - how he was playing right-mid and was told to keep it very simple, keep his position, track the player, give it the way you're facing and go - the basic stuff. At that level it's about discipline and athleticism, with a certain basic level of talent.

 

Obviously at "world-class" level it's a different planet. One thing I have found fascinating in the US is the level of professionalism in certain (most) sports at an early age. If you have any kind of talent - even if you're just big - you will find a team of coaches and a rigorous, dedicated training program for both technique and physical development. I don't know about your school, but at mine the team in the first couple of years was run by a Maths teacher. And we were very good. Training was rudimentary, and probably once a week. In the UK, the clubs do the job of scouting and picking up, but I can't help but feel that if the same level (and breadth) of nurturing was involved in schools, then that would make a massive difference. I guarantee you that I would be able to kick properly with my right foot, at least.

Do youths still play these games? As in, outside amongst all the health and safety risks and paedophiles?

 

I've been wondering this a lot, particularly as I'm now in a new country and have kids myself. I would be out with my mates on our bikes literally all day, and remember playing those massive games at the park from tea (when school ended) until dark. Are we really remembering things correctly, and if so, does this still happen?

Always remember if you player singles in the north it was called just singles but in the south it was Wembley Singles lol

 

Honestly, sometimes I'd be happy to get put out playing that.  Used to be absolutely fucked by the time you got through a couple of rounds if there's loads of you.

I always called it cuppa's.

Wembley Singles/Doubles is just extra effort. "You coming over the school for a game of Wembley Singles?"

Was always singles/knockout/doubles, never heard "Wembley ..." before heard Cups before as well.

 

While we're on, I used to love a game of Heads and Vols when I couldn't be arsed to run about.

Singles/doubles was always "Knockout Wem" (as in Wembley).

It was Wembley Singles/Doubles round our way, though we were in North London.

Was always singles/knockout/doubles, never heard "Wembley ..." before heard Cups before as well.

 

While we're on, I used to love a game of Heads and Vols when I couldn't be arsed to run about.

 

I only enjoyed Heads and Vols if it was 'Hot Arse'.

 

When the 'keeper had 3 lives and if 3 goals were scored every one would take turns in blasting the ball against the keepers arse.

Cheek/Sheikh/Chake/Chick/Sheek...Tiote?

Check

Checked and it's Shake

I've always gone with Shake. But heard it pronounced a few different ways, just wanted to clarify.

In my youth I've played in a full schoolyard game, around 30 a side, where an empty can was used as a ball. This was in the early 2000s as well.

 

Anyone here ever play Eggs?

Was always singles/knockout/doubles, never heard "Wembley ..." before heard Cups before as well.

 

While we're on, I used to love a game of Heads and Vols when I couldn't be arsed to run about.

 

I only enjoyed Heads and Vols if it was 'Hot Arse'.

 

When the 'keeper had 3 lives and if 3 goals were scored every one would take turns in blasting the ball against the keepers arse.

we had a similar to that, sure i've described in on here, we turned heads and volleys into "umph" where, without the keeper knowing the point wasn't to score but to hit the keeper and hurt him, when the keeper knew about it it was "grand master umph" as it became harder. different points for where the keeper got hit and how direct a shot it was.

we went all out when we got to 14/15 like.  All chipped in for a couple of nets and pegs.  Lad that lived nearest the field kept them in his garage.  We thought we were the fucking business.

we went all out when we got to 14/15 like.  All chipped in for a couple of nets and pegs.  Lad that lived nearest the field kept them in his garage.  We thought we were the f***ing business.

We stole a net and used it for a good few years. It might still be in my shed. Was a right pain in the arse when it was cold and wet, having to bundle this massive net into a black bag every time.

when about 10 there was a lad round our way (he was about 13) who would make a goal out of bits of wood and a net of polythene sheeting. it would only be 5-a-side size and look great till someone scored or hit the woodwork and the lot collapsed.

 

but then we'd go the the gala field on a sunday morning for the club (CIU) games where till the games started we'd have full sized goals and nets, then at half time, then at full time when we got clever and said "we'll take them doon and bring them back to the club before last orders" and we had goals and nets for over an hour.

we went all out when we got to 14/15 like.  All chipped in for a couple of nets and pegs.  Lad that lived nearest the field kept them in his garage.  We thought we were the f***ing business.

We stole a net and used it for a good few years. It might still be in my shed. Was a right pain in the arse when it was cold and wet, having to bundle this massive net into a black bag every time.

 

We kept ours in a crate which was used to stand on to hang it properly.  Also used to lose pegs all the time as well which was a nightmare.