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Michael Owen (now retired)


Keefaz

One a scale of 1-5, how excited are you for Michael Owen on TV every week?  

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  1. 1. One a scale of 1-5, how excited are you for Michael Owen on TV every week?

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To paraphrase Stewart Lee, if you were to lock Michael Owen for sixty years in an empty underground bunker which contained nothing but a woolly tea cosy, he would not even be curious enough to be tempted to see if the tea cosy would make a serviceable hat.

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To paraphrase Stewart Lee, if you were to lock Michael Owen for sixty years in an empty underground bunker which contained nothing but a woolly tea cosy, he would not even be curious enough to be tempted to see if the tea cosy would make a serviceable hat.

 

:lol:

 

I met Stewart Lee once in a hotel lift in Northampton. True story.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Michael Owen arranged for £200 worth of pennies to be left on Kevin Keegan's desk after losing a game of head tennis against the former Newcastle United manager.

 

Keegan and assistant Terry McDermott challenged Owen and Nicky Butt to a doubles match at the club's training ground back in 2008.

 

Owen believed it was 'impossible' that 'two old-age pensioners' could beat them so rather than playing for pride, he upped the stakes with a cash bet.

 

To Owen and Butt's horror, the Magpies' management team 'absolutely battered' them - and they had to pay Keegan and McDermott back.

 

"A couple of days later, they were chasing us for the money so we said, 'We've got to pay them but we can't just live with this. We've got to get them back somehow," Owen recalled on Back of the Net.

 

"So I phoned my Dad and said, 'Can you go round all the banks in Newcastle and try to get £200 worth of pennies?' That's 20,000 pennies.

 

"I got to the training ground and as soon as I got back in from training, I called my Dad. He was out in the car park and, now, the hard bit was getting all of this money into Kevin Keegan's office before he came in.

 

"We got a few people to help us - literally ripped all the bags as quick as we could - and stuck 20,000 pennies on to his table in a huge pile. It was brilliant.

 

 

"Anyway, we waited and waited. Kevin Keegan came in, opened his door, looked at his desk with a massive pile of pennies on it and knew straight away it was me and Butty. He turned round and we burst out of the changing rooms laughing our heads off.

 

"So even though we got beat, it was almost a victory for us and never again did he ask us to play head tennis. And that is a true story."

 

Totally oblivious to the fact he sounds like Partride’s “needless to say I had the last laugh”, only without the humour.

The blokes a parody on himself

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He's such a fucking dull and introverted little wankstain. Eeeeee let's pay up but in pennies, it'll be sooooo funny. Pernicious little cunt, just fuck off you boring little parasite. Die in a fucking fire.

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Sort of off-topic but one of the things I was impressed with by Owen when he played was how good a header of the ball he was. Obviously wasn’t tall but he had a good leap and was the opposite to Carroll whereby he sniffed out where the ball would likely go and nip in front of the centre-back, rather than see where the ball was going, then react.

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Sort of off-topic but one of the things I was impressed with by Owen when he played was how good a header of the ball he was. Obviously wasn’t tall but he had a good leap and was the opposite to Carroll whereby he sniffed out where the ball would likely go and nip in front of the centre-back, rather than see where the ball was going, then react.

 

ClfRfScWgAAFjHH.jpg

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Guest reefatoon

That Owen man, he is such a card.  Couldn't stop laughing all the way through that anecdote, was probably the funniest thing I have ever read, I actually nearly died of pure pleasure.

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  • 8 months later...

www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/michael-owen-game-gave-up-22361834.amp

 

What a daft shitebag he is, the only team he wanted to join in the premier league was Liverpool then joins Man United after he left us

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Aye. I was at that match, if there were any Newcastle fans chanting that - there could've been some aye, but it definitely wasn't enough to be heard on telly - it'll have been the Watford fans.

 

.com match report references similar songs

 

"The chant of "we want our money back" from the away section was harsh, but typical of a day on which goalscorer Kieron Dyer also found himself verbally abused by an away following who weren't in the most forgiving of fettles."

 

https://www.nufc.com/html/2006-07html/2007-05-13watford-a.html

 

 

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Aye. I was at that match, if there were any Newcastle fans chanting that - there could've been some aye, but it definitely wasn't enough to be heard on telly - it'll have been the Watford fans.

 

.com match report references similar songs

 

"The chant of "we want our money back" from the away section was harsh, but typical of a day on which goalscorer Kieron Dyer also found himself verbally abused by an away following who weren't in the most forgiving of fettles."

 

https://www.nufc.com/html/2006-07html/2007-05-13watford-a.html

 

 

 

I do remember Dyer being clearly booed.

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