Football pet hates

Those horrific football jokes people make after any big victory for their team. It is possibly the most tedious thing of all things.

"(renowned striker/attacking midfielder) was declared missing yesterday, but was eventually found in the back pocket of (defensive midfielder/centre back)"

"Three-fourths of the world is covered by water, the rest by (centre midfielder)"

"(striker who's scored two or more goals) is wanted for rape in (whatever city he scored these goals in)"

This is the worst thing imaginable.

Is three-fourths the same as 3 quarters ?

thought lovejoy was a watford fan before turning to glory seeking?

his new ad for pasta is vomit inducing.

f***ing goal music, honestly clubs shouldn't be allowed in the Premier League if they have it.

Athletic de Bilbao's new stadium is supposed to have goal music *and* light show. Pure cringe if they really go with it.

I'd like to expand on that and say fans that do daft little choreographed celebrations in the pub. Some c*** was at it today when arsenal scored their third and did this daft pretendy bowling thing. He clearly thought he was cool as fuck. We all just thought he was an idiotic little bollock.

 

Class. 

 

I can't believe anyone would do a pre-meditated celebration in the pub, what a divvy.

The whole post has me cracked up everytime I read it. Bowling celebration in a pub man, love how he waited until the third to do it aswell.

Morten Gamst Pedersen.

He just seems like a total twat, and I hate the way he plays.

Our f***ing ball boys. Saying that they haven't been nearly as sh**e this season

Morten Gamst Pedersen.

 

He just seems like a total twat, and I hate the way he plays.

He's got a Paul Cuntington hairstyle, that's what does it for me.

thought lovejoy was a watford fan before turning to glory seeking?

Yeap, that is true.

Our f***ing ball boys. Saying that they haven't been nearly as sh**e this season

They're shite, a little too young I think, they have no awareness of what is going on around them and can't even kick / throw the ball far enough more often than not.

Been like that for years.

I vividly remember one game against Man Utd a few seasons ago. This one ball boy in particular had been horrendously poor. Couldn't throw, kick and it took him an age to give our lot the ball. Man Utd got a quick attack, the ball went out and the ball boy got the ball to Ronaldo in a nano second and Man Utd nearly scored. I was fuming.

I reckon we should use the Academy lads. Not the 16 year olds that teams like Wigan use, but the Under 11's/12's who actually have hand eye co-ordination and the power to kick a ball more than 8 yards to a keeper.

I vividly remember one game against Man Utd a few seasons ago. This one ball boy in particular had been horrendously poor. Couldn't throw, kick and it took him an age to give our lot the ball. Man Utd got a quick attack, the ball went out and the ball boy got the ball to Ronaldo in a nano second and Man Utd nearly scored. I was fuming.

 

I reckon we should use the Academy lads. Not the 16 year olds that teams like Wigan use, but the Under 11's/12's who actually have hand eye co-ordination and the power to kick a ball more than 8 yards to a keeper.

I've been saying this for years. Everton have trained lads who know what to do to help the team so why not us.

Anyway, the term warchest.

Aye we should, it all went wrong when Shepherd started getting kids parents to pay to have their kid be a ball boy.

Patronising commentators when non-league teams are playing.

Patronising commentators when non-league teams are playing.

"And it's MICKY DEVLIN... THE POSTMAN! Who SCORES to put NON LEAGUE FC INTO THE SECOND ROUND!"

Patronising commentators when non-league teams are playing.

 

"And it's MICKY DEVLIN... THE POSTMAN! Who SCORES to put NON LEAGUE FC INTO THE SECOND ROUND!"

*Camera pans to Leeds fans after going 1-0 up against Man United*

'You tell them it's impossible, you tell them.'

It's usually great seeing a tiny (and really they are tiny, relatively) club scoring against a 'big' club but it's often ruined by the commentary. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT IT! THE BUTCHER, BAKER AND CANDLE STICK MAKER ALL ON THE SCORESHEET!

Jay Spearing's stupid face.

Jay Spearing's stupid face.

Liam Ridgewell. I don't know why, he just annoys me.

My Dad says "Put Gillette on" 

When a team concedes a freekick and they kick the ball to the spot where the freekick will be taken from. Leave it, let the other team sort it out ffs.

Patronising commentators when non-league teams are playing.

 

"And it's MICKY DEVLIN... THE POSTMAN! Who SCORES to put NON LEAGUE FC INTO THE SECOND ROUND!"

 

*Camera pans to Leeds fans after going 1-0 up against Man United*

 

'You tell them it's impossible, you tell them.'

 

 

Without even hearing the commentery i'd put my house on it being the cunt Tyldesley coming out with that? Infact I can hear his voice now. cunt.

Patronising commentators when non-league teams are playing.

"He's only went and tackled WAYNE ROONEY! Something to tell the grandchildren about."