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Gary Speed (1969–2011)


Dokko

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It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.

 

 

It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:

 

 

I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to walk into a room, or in this case the garage, to find someone hanging by their neck dead!  Killing yourself like that is such a cruel thing to do because someone has to find you like that!  I can completely accept what his widow is saying there, he is at peace but, she has that gruesome and lasting image in her mind that will stay with her until the day she dies of her husband hanging....  there is no way that you could ever erase such a memory!

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It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.

 

 

It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:

 

 

I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to walk into a room, or in this case the garage, to find someone hanging by their neck dead!  Killing yourself like that is such a cruel thing to do because someone has to find you like that!  I can completely accept what his widow is saying there, he is at peace but, she has that gruesome and lasting image in her mind that will stay with her until the day she dies of her husband hanging....  there is no way that you could ever erase such a memory!

 

Some suicides, or self-harm acts, just happen where the primitive part of the brain takes over your rational brain and then the next thing you know (or don't know), it happens - without you being able to make sense of it or control it.

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Just me who doesn't want to read these recent articles? I don't mean that in a heartless way towards his Mrs, I just don't think it's any of my business and I really don't want to know any more details of such a sad series of events. :undecided:

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It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.

 

 

It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:

Perfectly understandable, honest, natural and quite typical reaction. Suicide is an incredibly selfish act, even though people (who have been unsuccessful with potentially lethal attempts) usually report minimising the impact of their loss, prior to the attempt (and think differently after), it leaves a wake of devastation that lessens but never completely levels out. His boys will probably look at their own children and still feel a bitterness as well as crushing loss at his absence. Not to mention all the special occasions which are tainted and the difficult events they will face without his presence and support.

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It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.

 

 

It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:

Perfectly understandable, honest, natural and quite typical reaction. Suicide is an incredibly selfish act, even though people (who have been unsuccessful with potentially lethal attempts) usually report minimising the impact of their loss, prior to the attempt (and think differently after), it leaves a wake of devastation that lessens but never completely levels out. His boys will probably look at their own children and still feel a bitterness as well as crushing loss at his absence. Not to mention all the special occasions which are tainted and the difficult events they will face without his presence and support.

 

Completely agree I had a friend commit suicide around 25 years ago and his MOther and sister have still not really forgiven him for his act as its them that have had to live with what he done even after all these years. It was them that had to pick up the pieces direct from the aftermath and it was them that are constantly wondering why

 

It is an extremely selfish act but to the people going through the hell and trauma that life throws at you its their only way out sadly

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Imagine being in those burning towers on 9/11 and jumping to your death was the only way to end the pain, you wouldn't call that act selfish, would you?

 

Physical pain and mental/emotional pain can do very similar things. Depression can hurt over many years though.

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Imagine being in those burning towers on 9/11 and jumping to your death was the only way to end the pain, you wouldn't call that act selfish, would you?

 

Physical pain and mental/emotional pain can do very similar things. Depression can hurt over many years though.

That is not the same, as in a planned deliberate action. Though take the point that ending ‘the pain’ can seem like the least worst alternative. It is never the only option though, and where your analogy falls down is the fact that people who are unsuccessful usually go on to put out their personal ‘inferno’ plus their loved ones do not have the same experience of loss as the victims of suicide who are left behind.

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It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for.

 

 

It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim.  :undecided:

 

 

I imagine a good part of that—and I believe it's not uncommon with depression—is that he kept his struggle so completely to himself for decades that it came entirely out of the blue even for the woman he'd spent almost his entire life with.

 

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Thinking about this still shocks me to the core like no other death of any person I've never met has. It still doesn't make any sense to us as the outsiders and it seems like the family feel the same. It must have been, and probably still is, absolutely horrific for them.

To call the act selfish is to completely disregard the state of mind someone in that position must be in to take their own life. People need to talk to each other more, man. :(

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Guest Howaythetoon

Such a tragic loss and seemingly senseless and while I would find it extremely hard to forgive him if I was a member of his family and probably never would, if that’s the only option you feel you have to end whatever suffering or misery are suffering internally, externally or both, then what a tormented individual you must be. So sad for his family and a great loss to the game. I used to love Speed and thought he was underrated at times. We were often better with him in The side, even as he aged and he was great for the younger players. I think the game also lost a very very good manager.

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