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Mike Ashley (former owner)


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Rancid, bullshitting, lying fat cunt. That’s as rattled as I’ve ever seen him, just making it up as he went along. Bluffing it out in the hope some people aren’t taken in by his shite. The awkward body language and manic hand gestures are a classic overcompensating device for him. Issuing challenges to global accounting institutions, telling everyone he’s definitely not a villain and downplaying the negative issues and the scrutiny that follows is a simple projection of his fears. He’s merely doubling down, the relentless and utter wankstain.

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Why does nobody want to audit him?

Because they will be asked to avoid as much tax as they possibly can, hide as many other financial problems as they can, and everyone from the outside knows that SD is not doing things a company should. If they came out and hid everything and said SD was fine, HMRC would look at the auditors, then also look at other companies the auditors have worked for. Basically as soon as any company does look at them, that company and it’s other companies would be fucked.
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Just when you think you cant hate the cunt anymore...he came across as a fucking freak of nature with his hands all over the shop the gobshite

 

He really is a child in a fat mans body, it's fucking incredible.

 

Jesus Christ guys, I was only Ashley bashing like you all.

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What the fuck's he on about, picking the Newcastle team? I've literally never heard that levelled at him. I think there might have been a murmering about it in 2008, back when Alan Smith couldn't seem to do anything bad enough to get out of Keegan's side. Ashley's got Smith on his shirt so he must be insisting that he stays in the side; but then that would have been in Keegan's book, and it wasn't. I've literally never, ever heard of it other than that.

 

He reckons the two things we hate most is: A, we don't spend the same as Man City and B: we don't like him picking the side.

 

Clueless arsehole. Wish he'd just fuck off. Prick.

 

It's not aimed at us, it's aimed as muddying the waters with the rest of the football world and setting the narrative against the fanbase - "It's not my fault, it's dem deluded Geordies angry because I won't buy Messi and Pele rofl amirite?

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Why does nobody want to audit him?

Because they will be asked to avoid as much tax as they possibly can, hide as many other financial problems as they can, and everyone from the outside knows that SD is not doing things a company should. If they came out and hid everything and said SD was fine, HMRC would look at the auditors, then also look at other companies the auditors have worked for. Basically as soon as any company does look at them, that company and it’s other companies would be fucked.

 

I don't get this.

 

Why would they hide shit then?

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People say he doesn't care about protests or what people say about him, but that clip above proves the exact opposite.

 

A discussion about the SD business strategy, and he still can't help mentioning 'panto villain' and 'picking the Newcarsel team'. He's rattled.  :snod:

 

He's as thin skinned as anything, and that clip should be fuel to the fire to ramp up the protests against him and his stores.

 

Incidentally, on the 'picking the team' bit, I think he's either referring to the buying of players (Joelinton alleged to have been lined up since January) or trying to refute the idea that he tells the 'head coach' to drop certain players for the (not priority) cup matches.

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Just watched the clip with the sound off as I'm at work. I'm no body language expert but he looks like a bloke absolutely desperate for acceptance, the constant smiling when answering questions and the nod at the end of an explanation, he crying out to be loved. He must be massively insecure. I wouldn't be surprised if he's had some sort of media training recently. Politicians use hand gestures to distract you from the absolute bullshit they speak. He's taking it to a new level mind!

 

As for the picking the team people have been commenting on. Isn't he accused of picking cup teams so we go out straight away every year?

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Just watched the clip with the sound off as I'm at work. I'm no body language expert but he looks like a bloke absolutely desperate for acceptance, the constant smiling when answering questions and the nod at the end of an explanation, he crying out to be loved. He must be massively insecure. I wouldn't be surprised if he's had some sort of media training recently. Politicians use hand gestures to distract you from the absolute bullshit they speak. He's taking it to a new level mind!

 

As for the picking the team people have been commenting on. Isn't he accused of picking cup teams so we go out straight away every year?

 

This might be what he means but I still don't think I've ever seen that specific accusation made. The whole cups issue is a cultural thing. Ever since the Europa League fiasco, the squad hasn't been suitably equipped to progress in several competitions and every intention is made to avoid competing in any of them. There's an overbearing attitude that by competing in cups you're directly hindering your chances of surviving in the Premier League - as if the two things are exclusively and immovably connected. Typical attitude from someone who knows fuck all about how football actually works and doesn't understand the value of good management.

 

By the way, your avatar is definitely a googly-eyed face with a handlebar moustache.

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Mike Ashley has neither the brains or the foresight to turn Sports Direct into anything more than it is, the man is deluded. Trying to emulate JD Sports but on a bigger scale is laughable - the major sports brands won't work with him and no one is going to pay a premium for Donnay socks and Dunlop golf brollies.

Sports Direct has a place in the market and they should just stick to what has got them this far - selling tat to chavs for low prices. I genuinely believe if he carries on with this ridiculous endeavour he could take SD under and that's our best chance of getting rid of him - the pressure of trying to rescue his sinking empire will be too much for him and the quick profit from selling us will be needed to help bolster his coffers.

Thick as mince chancer who got it right once and is now convinced he's a retail genius.

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Mike Ashley has neither the brains or the foresight to turn Sports Direct into anything more than it is, the man is deluded. Trying to emulate JD Sports but on a bigger scale is laughable - the major sports brands won't work with him and no one is going to pay a premium for Donnay socks and Dunlop golf brollies.

Sports Direct has a place in the market and they should just stick to what has got them this far - selling tat to chavs for low prices. I genuinely believe if he carries on with this ridiculous endeavour he could take SD under and that's our best chance of getting rid of him - the pressure of trying to rescue his sinking empire will be too much for him and the quick profit from selling us will be needed to help bolster his coffers.

Thick as mince chancer who got it right once and is now convinced he's a retail genius.

 

The way he's screwed Rangers is a kind of genius. Not the kind that should be lauded, of course. Still, as you say there is a place in the market for SD, which raises questions about the market,  But that's probably for the politics thread.

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He's looking older and weaker

 

That was my first reaction too. Stress is certainly getting to him.

 

That interview, whilst it wasn't scripted, was certainly 'planned' in that he knew the questions that were coming in advance. 100%.

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He's looking older and weaker

 

That was my first reaction too. Stress is certainly getting to him.

 

That interview, whilst it wasn't scripted, was certainly 'planned' in that he knew the questions that were coming in advance. 100%.

 

Probably. It was Sky after all.

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He's looking older and weaker

 

That was my first reaction too. Stress is certainly getting to him.

 

That interview, whilst it wasn't scripted, was certainly 'planned' in that he knew the questions that were coming in advance. 100%.

 

Probably. It was Sky after all.

 

Common that PR Agencies will demand the questions up front and also agree with news agencies which subjects are 'out of bounds'.

 

He didn't hesitate once when a question was asked, to reflect upon it/process it, so that tells you it was rehearsed/planned to a point.

 

Not as bad as the 'to camera' stuff he done with Sky Sports (I'm not leaving until I've won a trophy). etc.

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Why does nobody want to audit him?

Because they will be asked to avoid as much tax as they possibly can, hide as many other financial problems as they can, and everyone from the outside knows that SD is not doing things a company should. If they came out and hid everything and said SD was fine, HMRC would look at the auditors, then also look at other companies the auditors have worked for. Basically as soon as any company does look at them, that company and it’s other companies would be fucked.

 

I don't get this.

 

Why would they hide shit then?

 

They wouldn't. Accountancy is an art not a science and there is plenty of grey to play around in.

 

Auditors review the accounts and make sure that income and costs are being fairly reported - its A true and fair view, not THE absolute truth. Plenty of assumptions and interpretation going on.

 

From a tax perspective, that's not the auditors - its the team engaged to prepare the tax which may or not be the same firm as the auditors.

 

Why no-one will audit them? Simple SD now have a demonstrable track record of hiding important details which makes auditing the company impossible. They can do the accounts and they can prepare an Audit report that says they are happy with everything or not, but they can't pass comment on what they don't know. If no transactions have been made they rely on company representations and if these aren't made what can they do?

 

It's also the company that dictates when they file the accounts, so even if the auditors do everything right the company can still not file them (yes there are fines involved) but the auditors name gets dragged into this. All in all, its not worth the fees.

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He's looking older and weaker

 

That was my first reaction too. Stress is certainly getting to him.

 

That interview, whilst it wasn't scripted, was certainly 'planned' in that he knew the questions that were coming in advance. 100%.

 

Probably. It was Sky after all.

 

Common that PR Agencies will demand the questions up front and also agree with news agencies which subjects are 'out of bounds'.

 

He didn't hesitate once when a question was asked, to reflect upon it/process it, so that tells you it was rehearsed/planned to a point.

 

Not as bad as the 'to camera' stuff he done with Sky Sports (I'm not leaving until I've won a trophy). etc.

 

Oh definitely, the two David Craig ones are on another level. And obviously the Martin Samuel thing.

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