Ronaldo

Nah, he’s not in Schar’s league right now but he’s younger, quicker.

Your pal Alec Baldwin would have somat to say about being hopeful of finishing 2nd.

A very meh season (in context) sandwiched between arguably our 2 best seasons of the last 5 decades.

94-95. Pav sent off and replaced by Hooper. We win 3-1. Was the Sky Sunday game. Great times.

It would certainly help but they’re genuinely abject and we should 100% be beating them even without Joelinton. Just don’t play anything approaching a high line and we’ll eventually catch them cold - which they are for 90% of the game.

I boss.

At home to Wolves last season too. Great header.

Honestly mate I wouldn’t know as I don’t think I’ve ever been to North Shields apart from Wet and Wild and that bowling alley as a kid. Both class obvs. If Howden counts as NS I once had a filthy experience with a girl called Ashleigh there. Her house had no carpets, before original flooring was en vogue. Alty is lovely. Consists of the town centre, which has a bit of everything, then Timperley (the slightly more affordable bit) and Hale / Bowdon / Hale Barns - which borders the airport. Our very own Kevin Keegan lives in Hale, as does Roy Keane and half the current Man United squad. House values are genuinely mental even by South Manchester standards and the hipsters have been basically priced out. They have to go up the road to Sale if they want to live close, but come weekend the place is very vibrant. You see it all here, good people watching place. My office is very close to the town centre and the stupid things I see from my window is class and I wouldn’t swap it. Worth a visit if you’re ever down.

Problem is every other keeper in the league is off his line to claim that or get a fist on it. See the deficit?

Not sure what’s worse, Onana’s ‘attempt’ or the referee needing VAR’s intervention to award the penalty.

Callum’s scored 46/47 in 4 years, right? Isak will have 50+ by next spring at his current rate.

How many penalties won now?

Alty are my local team. Brilliantly run little club that will go places, eventually.

Swapped speed for weed. Changed my whole perspective on everything.

I’m not quite sure how we’re a point off 6th having played him for more than half the season. Massive weakness given the way we play.