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N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 03:44:30 AM »
Hello and welcome to the results of the 2016 Newcastle-Online Forum Awards.



Without further ado, here are the winners:

Best Football Poster:
Spoiler
Wullie
25 (36.2%)
Darth Crooks
16 (23.2%)
Disco
12 (17.4%)
Dave
11 (15.9%)
Tooj
5 (7.2%)

Worst Football Poster:
Spoiler
Tubestationatmidnight
39 (41.9%)
Neesy
20 (21.5%)
Shintonsghost
19 (20.4%)
The College Dropout
15 (16.1%)

Best Chat Poster:
Spoiler
Mike
27 (35.1%)
Hans
15 (19.5%)
BlufPurdi
14 (18.2%)
Interpolic
12 (15.6%)
Jill
9 (11.7%)

Worst Chat Poster:
Spoiler
Kid Icarus
25 (31.6%)
Spoiler
Happinesstan
22 (27.8%)
Toondave
11 (13.9%)
Neesy
10 (12.7%)
Stray Mackem
7 (8.9%)
Northerngimp
4 (5.1%)

Best Games Poster:
Spoiler
Mole_Toonfan
17 (26.2%)
Mike & OpenC
15 (23.1%) & 15 (23.1%)
Coco
14 (21.5%)
Dokko
4 (6.2%) 

Best Foreigner:
Spoiler
Mike
19 (25%)
Thomas
17 (22.4%)
Kaizero
16 (21.1%)
Spoiler
B-More Mag
13 (17.1%)
Deuce
7 (9.2%)
QuakesMag
4 (5.3%)

"And we are LIVE here at the N-O Awards ceremony, handing out the trophy for Best Foreigner and -- wait, what's this!

It's, it's,
BY GOD! IT'S THOMAS WITH A STEEL CHAIR!"
 

Brexit Means Brexit (Worst Foreigner):
Spoiler
Froggy
46 (50.5%)
Triggs
16 (17.6%)
Ope
12 (13.2%)
Pip
10 (11%)
Mike
7 (7.7%)
 

Best Newcomer:
Spoiler
HaydnNUFC
28 (50.9%)
PartizanFC
11 (20%)
Seymour
6 (10.9%)
BleedBlackAndWhite & Odin
5 (9.1%) & 5 (9.1%)

Best Non-Toon Poster:
Spoiler
Leffe
36 (43.4%)
Village Idiot
20 (24.1%)
Brummie
18 (21.7%)
Wacko
5 (6%)
Neil
4 (4.8%)

Best Overall Poster:
Spoiler
Wullie
15 (19.2%)
Disco & Mike
14 (17.9%) & 14 (17.9%)
Interpolic
13 (16.7%)
Hanskissedhispantz
12 (15.4%)
BlufPurdi
10 (12.8%)

Poster with Best Taste:
Spoiler
OpenC
23 (32.9%)
B-More Mag
22 (31.4%)
QuakesMag
10 (14.3%)
Tooj
9 (12.9%)
Kid Icarus
6 (8.6%)

Poster with Worst Taste:
Spoiler
Beren
23 (34.8%)
Spoiler
Stifler
18 (27.3%)
Jill & KaKa
11 (16.7%) & 11 (16.7%)     
Mike
3 (4.5%)

Most Boring Poster:
Spoiler
Kid Icarus
22 (26.2%)
Happinesstan
19 (22.6%)
The College Dropout
16 (19%)
Joeyt
12 (14.3%)
Tubestationatmidnight
10 (11.9%)
Stifler
5 (6%)

Funniest Poster:
Spoiler
Mike
25 (32.1%)
Hanskissedhispantz
24 (30.8%)
Thomas
13 (16.7%)
Northerngimp
12 (15.4%)
Interpolic
4 (5.1%)

Most Improved Poster:
Spoiler
Lush Vlad
39 (50%)
The College Dropout
16 (20.5%)
Kid Icarus
13 (16.7%)
Triggs
10 (12.8%)

Most Deteriorated Poster:
Spoiler
Kid Icarus
30 (35.3%)
Neesy
27 (31.8%)
Madras
18 (21.2%)
Triggs
8 (9.4%)
Northerngimp
2 (2.4%)

Most Likeable Poster:
Spoiler
Jill
27 (33.8%)
Mike
15 (18.8%)
Hanskissedhispantz
11 (13.8%)
BlufPurdi & Newsted
10 (12.5%) & 10 (12.5%)
Interpolic
7 (8.8%)

Most Dislikable Poster:
Spoiler
Ronaldo
22 (28.9%)
Happinesstan
18 (23.7%)
Toondave
17 (22.4%)
The College Dropout
11 (14.5%)
Tubestationatmidnight
8 (10.5%)

Most Repetitive Poster:
Spoiler
Kid Icarus
21 (21.9%)
Ronaldo & Tubestationatmidnight
19 (19.8%) & 19 (19.8%)
Happinesstan
18 (18.8%)
The College Dropout
14 (14.6%)
Northerngimp
5 (5.2%)

Poster You'd Most Like to Meet:
Spoiler
Mike
30 (35.7%)
Hanskissedhispantz & Ronaldo
14 (16.7%) & 14 (16.7%)
QuakesMag
12 (14.3%)
Deuce
8 (9.5%)
SEMTEX
6 (7.1%)

Poster You'd Least Like to Meet:
Spoiler
Ronaldo
22 (24.4%)
Kid Icarus
18 (20%)
Toondave
16 (17.8%)
The College Dropout
14 (15.6%)
Tubestationatmidnight
13 (14.4%)
Stifler
7 (7.8%)

Poster You Wish Would Come Back/Poster More Often:
Spoiler
Rich
36 (41.9%)
Spoiler
Segun Oluwaniyi
22 (25.6%)
BarackObama & Keefaz
8 (9.3%) & 8 (9.3%)
Jimburst
7 (8.1%)
Belfast Mags
5 (5.8%)

Best Football Thread:
Spoiler
Rafa Benitez
26 (37.7%)
Alan Pardew
18 (26.1%)
David Squires
17 (24.6%)
The Other Games Today
6 (8.7%)
Still Not Worthy of a Thread
2 (2.9%)

Best Chat Thread:
Spoiler
Your Pet Hates
38 (46.9%)
US Politics
25 (30.9%)
NFL
11 (13.6%)
NBA
7 (8.6%)

Best Thread Started in 2016:
Spoiler
Rafa Benitez
44 (60.3%)
US Politics: Trump Edition
12 (16.4%)
The Olympics Thread
8 (11%)
NFL
6 (8.2%)
NBA
2 (2.7%)
NFL Predictions
1 (1.4%)

Post of the Year:
Spoiler
Complication of AIDS
27 (33.8%)
First real girlfriend
18 (22.5%)
Already Logged In
17 (21.3%)
Reasons to Live
12 (15%)
Beavers
6 (7.5%)

Most Brutal Post:
Spoiler
WallsendMag Destruction
31 (39.2%)
Glowing Ghost Motherfucker
18 (22.8%)
Enigma Machine
16 (20.3%)
Drown Yourself
11 (13.9%)
can u go bak
3 (3.8%)

Best GIF/Image Reply:
Spoiler
Dancing 'Polic
25 (40.3%)
Controller Disconnected & How About No
11 (17.7%) & 11 (17.7%)
Me Tomorrow
10 (16.1%)
hue hue hue
5 (8.1%)

Poster You Wished Would Leave the Forum Forever:
Spoiler
Tubestationatmidnight
31 (41.3%)
Shintonsghost
24 (32%)
The College Dropout
20 (26.7%)

Admin/Mod Appreciation Trophy:
Spoiler
Dave
30 (37%)
Kaizero
15 (18.5%)
BlufPurdi
14 (17.3%)
Mike
13 (16%)
Bluestar
9 (11.1%)

The Jon Lockwood Award for Outstanding Long-Term Achievement:
Spoiler
Jill
25 (29.8%)
BlufPurdi
20 (23.8%)
Kaizero
16 (19%)
Disco
12 (14.3%)
Interpolic
11 (13.1%)

And that brings this year to a close. Congratulations to all the winners...








Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #1 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 03:44:37 AM »
For posterity, the nominated were:

Spoiler
Best Football Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Football Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Darth Crooks, Dave, Disco, Tooj & Wullie

The following were nominated but did not make it:

3 Nominations:
Hanskissedhispantz
Kanji
Ronaldo

2 Nominations:
Greg

1 Nomination:
Si
POOT
Midds
Lush Vlad
Gallowgatetoon
Sima
Paully
Kaizero
Unbelievable
Ponsaelius
Segun Oluwaniyi
Optimistic Nut
Pilko
Triggs
Magpie
Mrmojorisin75
WarrenBarton

Worst Football Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Worst Football Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Neesy, Shintonsghost, The College Dropout & Tubestationatmidnight

The following were nominated but did not make it:

4 Nominations:
Kid Icarus
KaKa
Foluwashola

3 Nominations:
WallsendMag
Crumpy Gunt

2 Nominations:
Uncle Bingo
Chris Babalooba

1 Nomination:
TRon
Astraguy
Mighty__Mag
Seymour
Ronaldo
Triggs
HTT
Altamullan
Figures 1-0 Football
Happinesstan
Ndegwa
BlufPurdi
sbnufc
Astroblack
Dokko
Ian W

Best Chat Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Chat Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

BlufPurdi, Hanskissedhispantz, Interpolic, Jill & Mike

The following were nominated but did not make it:

4 Nominations:
Disco
Kid Icarus

3 Nominations:
Northerngimp
OpenC

2 Nominations:
Kaizero
B-More Mag
mrmojorisin75
Deuce
Newsted
Super Duper Branko Strupar
Thomas
Ian W

1 Nomination:
Toondave
Dave
Wullie
Beren
QuakesMag
Klaus
Tooj
SEMTEX
Shak
KaKa
Bluestar
Toon Hoser


Worst Chat Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Worst Chat Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Happinesstan, Kid Icarus, Neesy, Northerngimp, Stray Mackem & Toondave

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Froggy
cp40
Stifler
Joeyt
The College Dropout
Ronaldo

1 Nomination:
Disco
Decky
Interpolic
Triggs
Trumpet
Mrmojorisin75
Mr. Logic
Tubes
Kingkerouac
Ian W
Figures 1-0 Football
Tiote's Witch Doctor

Best Games Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Games Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Coco, Dokko, Mike, Mole_Tonfan & OpenC

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
Thomas
Troll
Mrmojorisin75
jdckelly
Clay
Decky
Hanskissedhispantz
54
Andy

Best Foreigner
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Foreigner" are, in alphabetical order:

B-More Mag, Deuce, Kaizero, Mike, Thomas & QuakesMag

The following were nominated but did not make it:

4 Nominations:
SEMTEX

3 Nominations:
Village Idiot

2 Nominations:
Kanji
Segun Oluwaniyi

1 Nomination:
Shak
Nobody
loki676
Unbelievable
ToonHoser
Ameritoon
Chicago_Shearer
Decky
KaKa
Towelie


Brexit Means Brexit (Worst Foreigner)
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Brexit Means Brexit (Worst Foreigner)" are, in alphabetical order:

Froggy, Mike, Ope, Pip & Triggs

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Jotenko
Deuce
Kanji

1 Nomination:
Trumpet
TRon
SEMTEX
Northerngimp
OpenC
Beren
PartizanFC
Felipao
Ndegwa
Shak
KaKa
The College Dropout
TaylorJ


Best Newcomer
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Newcomer" are, in alphabetical order:

BleedBlackAndWhite, HaydnNUFC, Odin, PartizanFC & Seymour

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
Leazes_End_Mag
Happinesstan
Gallows

Best Non-Toon Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Non-Toon Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Brummie, Leffe, Mike*, Neil, Village Idiot & Wacko

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Stray Mackem
hithere
Groo

1 Nomination:
Froggy
Jukeboxromeo
1878

* Whilst Mike got enough votes to be nominated he's not on the final ballot due to him, in all fairness, being one of us.

Best Overall Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Overall Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

BlufPurdi, Disco, Hanskissedhispantz, Interpolic, Mike & Wullie

The following were nominated but did not make it:

3 Nominations:
Dave
Thomas

2 Nominations:
Kaizero
GeordieMessiah
B-More Mag
Northerngimp
OpenC
Kid Icarus
Darth Crooks

1 Nomination:
Parky
Jill
Greg
Foluwashola
Mrmojorisin75
QuakesMag
Lush Vlad
Shak
SEMTEX
Ian W
Troll
Lenny
Magpie
Ponsaelius
Deuce
Super Duper Branko Strupar

Poster with Best Taste
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Poster with Best Taste" are, in alphabetical order:

B-More Mag, Kid Icarus, OpenC, Tooj & QuakesMag

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Ian W
Fugazi
Northerngimp
Cubaricho

1 Nomination:
Shay's Given Tim Flowers
Parky
BarackObama
Nobody
Wullie
cp40
Beren
MKSC
Jill
Ronaldo
Greg
Lush Vlad
NEEJ

Poster with Worst Taste
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Poster with Worst Taste" are, in alphabetical order:

Beren, Jill, KaKa, Mike & Stifler

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Kid Icarus
Messi

1 Nomination:
Thomas
Super Duper Branko Strupar
Ian W
Felipao
RodneyCisse
The College Dropout
Northerngimp
Dr Venkman
Ronaldo
Kaizero
Froggy

Most Boring Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Most Boring Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Happinesstan, Joeyt, Kid Icarus, Stifler, The College Dropout & Tubestationatmidnight

The following were nominated but did not make it:

3 Nominations:
Ronaldo
HTT

2 Nominations:
Madras
Slim
Neesy

1 Nomination:
Decky
WallsendMag
Shintonsghost
Jotenko
Disco
Interpolic
Mike
Altamullan
Bimpy474
Toondave
Froggy
KaKa
Felipao
Gorilla
Northerngimp
Newsted
Mole_Toonfan
Stray Mackem
Ndegwa
Foluwashola
Kingkerouac
Ian W
nufc4eva
LooneyToonArmy
Heron

Funniest Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Funniest Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Hanskissedhispantz, Interpolic, Mike, Northerngimp & Thomas

The following were nominated but did not make it:

4 Nominations:
Joeyt
SEMTEX

3 Nominations:
GeordieMessiah
Darth Crooks
Foluwashola
Disco

2 Nominations:
Bluestar
Neesy
Shak

1 Nomination:
Wullie
Si
Newsted
Segun Oluwaniyi
KaKa
Jill
TBG

Most Improved Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Most Improved Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Kid Icarus, Lush Vlad, The College Dropout & Triggs

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Thomas
Joeyt
Ronaldo
POOT
Ian W
QuakesMag
Yorkie
Mole_Toonfan
Hanskissedhispantz

1 Nomination:
Bimpy474
Paully
Andy84
Newsted
Lotus
TaylorJ
Si
Troll
Figures 1-0 Football
Northerngimp
hithere
Stray Mackem
Bluestar
Super Duper Branko Strupar
Darth Crooks

Most Deteriorated Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Most Deteriorated Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Kid Icarus, Madras, Neesy, Northerngimp & Triggs

The following were nominated but did not make it:

3 Nominations:
Ronaldo

2 Nominations:
Deuce
Froggy

1 Nomination:
TRon
Bluestar
cp40
Stray Mackem
Joeyt
Dave
Hanskissedhispantz
SEMTEX
Shak
GeordieMessiah
The College Dropout
OpenC
Kanji
Altamullan
Nobody
Dokko
Slim
Merlin
Stifler

Most Likable Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Most Likeable Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

BlufPurdi, Hanskissedhispantz, Interpolic, Jill, Mike & Newsted

The following were nominated but did not make it:

4 Nominations:
QuakesMag

3 Nominations:
Lush Vlad

2 Nominations:
GeordieMessiah
Northerngimp
Beren
Dave
B-More Mag
Mrmojorisin75

1 Nomination:
Mr. Logic
Chrisjraby
Midds
Greg
Bimpy474
Paully
Andy84
Leffe
Segun Olawaniyi
Thomas
Elliotman
Darth Crooks
Lenny
Bluestar

Most Dislikable Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Most Dislikeable Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Happinesstan, Ronaldo, The College Dropout, Toondave & Tubestationatmidnight

The following were nominated but did not make it:

4 Nominations:
Neesy
Kid Icarus
Shintonsghost

2 Nominations:
Ronaldo
Froggy
Stray Mackem
Triggs
Foluwashola

1 Nomination:
Ndegwa
Trumpet
WallsendMag
Scoot
Crumpy Gunt
GeordieMessiah
Northerngimp
Mrmojorisin75
Messi
Shak
Beren
robm
Ian W
Stifler
Heron

Most Repetitive Poster
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Most Repetitive Poster" are, in alphabetical order:

Happinesstan, Kid Icarus, Northerngimp, Ronaldo, The College Dropout & Tubestationatmidnight

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Disco
WallsendMag
Madras
Triggs
Neesy
Toondave
Stifler

1 Nomination:
Bluestar
Figures 1-0 Football
Stray Mackem
Chris Babalooba
Uncle Bingo
Froggy
Mr. Logic
Yorkie
loki679
Heron
Interpolic
Hanskissedhispantz
Mrmojorisin75
Ope
HTT

Poster You'd Most Like to Meet
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Poster You'd Most Like to Meet" are, in alphabetical order:

Deuce, Hanskissedhispantz, Mike, SEMTEX, Ronaldo & QuakesMag

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Mrmojorisin75
Northerngimp
Stifler
Jill
Felipao
Interpolic

1 Nomination:
Froggy
Disco
Lotus
Lovejoy
Fugazi
Foluwashola
STM
BlufPurdi
Decky
Billytray
Joeyt
Shak
Heron
B-More Mag
Dave
Segun Oluwaniyi
Mole_Toonfan
Tooj
Kanji
Cubaricho
Coco
jimburst
wormy


Poster You'd Least Like to Meet
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Poster You'd Least Like to Meet" are, in alphabetical order:

Kid Icarus, Stifler, Ronaldo, The College Dropout, Toondave & Tubestationatmidnight

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
Happinesstan
Northerngimp
Shintonsghost
Kingkerouac
Crumpy Gunt

1 Nomination:
SEMTEX
HinduTimes
Froggy
Dave
HTT
Interpolic
Bimpy
Skirge
Stray Mackem
Felipao
Coco
Wullie
Ian W
Dr Venkman
Heron


Poster You Wish Would Come Back/Post More Often
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Poster You Wish Would Come Back/Post More Often" are, in alphabetical order:

BarackObama, Belfast Mags, Jimburst, Keefaz, Rich & Segun Oluwaniyi

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
80
Indi
Gemmill
TaylorJ
Mike
Andy84
loki676
Beren
SSR
Ponsaelius
Messi
Mowen
GoldenGlory
NSG
Rocker
Pip
Fabregash
Mandoon
Neil
Tooj
Clay
Mowen
dinotheprehistoricgeordie
Mick
Wormy
Heneage

Best Football Thread
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Football Thread" are, in alphabetical order:

Alan Pardew, David Squires, Still Not Worthy of a Thread, The Other Games Today, Rafa Benitez

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
Other Clubs Transfers
The England Thread
NUFC Transfer Rumours in the Press


Best Chat Thread
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Football Thread" are, in alphabetical order:

NBA, NFL, US Politics & Your Pet Hates

The following were nominated but did not make it:

3 Nominations:
Daft Questions Thread
Gimp's Gash

2 Nominations:
What Are You Watching Right Now
UK Politics
Experiences of Depression and Anxiety
The Olympics Thread
EU Referendum - The Aftermath
The Hip-Hop Thread
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
What Mood are you in?
Star Wars Geektastic
Some More Vaguely Amusing Internet Jocularity

1 Nomination:
Netflix Suggestions
Shoe Council
The Darts
Ace Posts
Fantasy Sci/Fi Books Thread
The Car Thread
The Little Things in Life

Best Thread Started in 2016
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Football Thread" are, in alphabetical order:

NBA, NFL, NFL Predictions, Rafa Benitez, The Olympics Thread, US Politics: Trump Edition

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
Forum Moments that have Stuck with you
2016/17 Betting Thread
David Squires


Best Post of the Year
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Best Post of the Year" are:

Spoiler
Tributes still pouring in




egr5h6j7y

You're already logged in mate :thup:





We seem to be like beavers today, chasing and winning everything.


He's honestly like your first real girlfriend/love.

You stand in awe of them, then ask them out. In this case he said yeah. You have a few dates and things look positive (good performances/results), you hit a little snag by trying a risky joke (getting relegated) and hope you haven't ruined things, they then get back in touch and everything is fine. Now you're waiting for a few more dates, you have one special one in mind and they have agreed to stay at yours/you stay at theirs/hotel and seal the deal. Now all you have to do is go through your date and do things right and you get to hit a home run (win a trophy), in the mean time everything they say leaves you in awe.

The following were nominated but did not make it:


1 Nomination:
Spoiler
Rumoured to be going on I'm a Celebrity.

He going to be one of the f***ing minging things they eat in the bushtucker trial?


If movies have taught me anything, and I think they have, there's a chance we can stay up if we can find a football playing dog.


Just pegging it in a straight line doesn't do it for me either.

If my last name was Gay you could bet your arse I'd be an olympic sprinter too from running away from people all my life.


Remember ALF? He's back. In GIF form.


Tits



x-post Disco's Divas

my biggest turn on (apart from feet, and arse holes) is a woman in a footy Jersey absolute w*** material

Wow, I'm a feet and arsehole guy too. I feel like people who like one, like the other. Thought about making a feet thread, but I can see a bunch of hate for it.  :undecided:

Aha f*** the haters lad !!!! Suck toes and eat s****


'Kind of vomit consumers that spend £60 on an NUFC with Colback in it'.

Ah aye, forgot watching your team was a resounding vote of confidence for every player within it. Sure our fans of the early 90s saw Barry Venison as a superior alternative to Franco Baresi.

Four paragraphs of unmitigated wet.

nah, you clearly only wrote 3 paragraphs there.


'Substitution for Newcastle. Number 27 Steven Taylor...'

*Crosses touchline*










Reads like an alternate version of Eminem's lose yourself. :lol:

I implore someone. :lol:

His balls are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's semen on his pants already, Pards' spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks smug and ready to drop bombs,
But the team keep on ignoring what he wrote down,
The whole crowd goes so loud
He rocks a move, but the win won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality. Oh, there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Alan, he choked
The f***ing c***




That's you getting blocked on Facebook.


Reads like an alternate version of Eminem's lose yourself. :lol:

I implore someone. :lol:

His balls are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's semen on his pants already, Pards' spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks smug and ready to drop bombs,
But the team keep on ignoring what he wrote down,
The whole crowd goes so loud
He rocks a move, but the win won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality. Oh, there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Alan, he choked
The f***ing c***

:lol:

You're a father of two, Dave.


Which man invented photo-synthesis?

Which man designed osmosis?

Who was that man that programmed the earth to orbit the sun so that we might have the energy to grow?

Shaft!


Ah, good old 999. The one phone number I wouldn't ring if I came across the Palace manager dying in the street.


Remember this melt?



In hindsight Lennon was probably right to cut that verse...


Don't understand why the two men don't just have sex and make an arsebaby instead.

Most Brutal Post
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Most Brutal Post of the Year" are:
Spoiler

Great game. Lucky deflection for the goal cancels out the penalty decision. Fellaini should have put it to bed. Draw probably fair result. Very enjoyable.
:lol: All those worms and no fish. Drown yourself.

On the other hand, I quite like it when the yanks on here type in Geordie

Yeah, true. That's different somehow.

Because it's funny/charming. Like watching a monkey use a typewriter. You know it can't actually write anything cohesive on it, but it's still f***ing charming that they try.

:lol: Says the f***ing Norwegian. In English. Like watching a Herring operate the enigma machine you f***ing prick.

Wallsendmag is so f***ing bipolar. :lol:

Well that's me finished with it all now. Season ticket holder for over 20 years up until 2009 when I couldn't afford to renew due to moving house and since then i've just bought tickets for (nearly every) home games match by match. If i'm not welcome at away games I won't be bothering to line his pockets by attending the home ones either and will copy of the Mackems and watch them in the pub.

I remember the old saying, managers, players and directors come and go but the fans are there for life.

Not with a lot of the modern day, cowardly type supporters that claim to support NUFC these days it would seem.

I can't stand Pardew but I love NUFC more than I dislike him so he certainly won't be stopping me from watching my team next season should he still be here.

Should push Pardew closer to the sack. 2nd derby in a row we haven't been up for it. Unfortunately he'll be here for the long term or if he was sacked an equally hopeless replacement would be brought in.

So glad I didn't renew my season ticket. This club's going nowhere.

I've packed in my season ticket that I'd had over 20 years and pay match by match now. Ill never buy another season ticket as long as Ashley's here because if we're doing well he'll cash in on it in January and leave the last 8 or 9 games as pointless kickabouts like last season.

To me when I think back over the last 8 years all I get is Sports Direct, relegation, derby day defeats, Pardew's smug face, Kinnear in the dugout, Ben Arfa being drove out, Carver and then Jonas being told to f*** off despite saving the club from relegation again. Utter grim. Nothing nice or memorable at all. What a waste of 8 f***ing years. When the the history books refer to this chapter all it needs is a Sports Direct sign. There has been no football or football club. Its a shell of a club and the fans are not Newcastle United supporters any more, they are Premier League customers now there to watch a game of Premier League football. Cheers Mike!

A very good summary  :clap:

Glad I wrapped in my season ticket so I'm not part of it anymore.

I voted no but the more I think about it I'm starting to be swayed more to hoping we go down. I haven't renewed my season ticket so regardless of the league we're in I won't be watching anyway so it's really a choice of another season of trying to finish 17th in the PL and Ashley raking in more £millions or the Championship where I haven't got a clue how we'd get on but I do know Ashley wouldn't be making any money out of the club.

I think I'd also take a degree of satisfaction watching the mugs that point blank refuse to stop going sitting through Rotherham at home on a Wednesday night in January.

I would happily take a defeat if it meant that would be the last we'd see of Pardew in our dugout. I hate the bloke the same way as I hate Souness and Allardyce. Win, lose or draw on Sunday, it matters not one bit. We'll either be 8th or 9th afterwards which is where we'll be in May after 38 games

Jacked his season ticket in, then went back, then jacked it in again because of Pardew (never going back remember) then comes out swinging at a) empty seats at other grounds and b) Newcastle fans who chucked their season ticket in because of Pardew. For someone who's obsessed with other clubs' attendances, it's amazing how many times he's said he's not going back to Newcastle.

can u go bak

So roleplaying-wise. Do your character have to be black for the drugdealer-thing to work?

:lol: Is your relentless Scandinavian paleness why you can't sneak anywhere you glowing ghost motherfucker.

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
Spoiler
Yorkie's standard 'I'm a not very bright, sexually ambiguous student' contribution.

In all seriousness, what sort of University degree allows polling like this? Methodologically-speaking it's weak as p*ss. It's not a degree you're getting, it's a piece of toilet roll. Worthless. Utterly f***ing worthless. How the f*** your dissertation tutor scraped a pass at GCSE, let alone somehow got a Doctorate when she's permitting s*** questions like "What is the image transferred between sponsor and sponsee of Newcastle United Football Club?" to be part of a survey beggars belief. And they say the value of a British education has been depleted in recent years... :lol:

That said, the very best of luck to you in the future. You're gonna f***ing need it.



I've been thinking........................... If for say you dig under the pitch at football grounds and installed a panic room there then surely you would then be able house a large amount of people?

Have you?

:lol: Bullshit that's not Pardew at 51 seconds.





Rafa is taking the p*ss out of us all. Absolutely taking the p*ss. Just f*** off.

I dont know why everyone is so negative towards this bloke. After all after the portsmouth game you were all licking his arse stating how much of a good job he has done etc etc etc. Now after a poor xmas period (which we never f***ing do well in anyway) you want him out. From reading this forum for a while everytime we go through a bad patch the majority of regular posters want the manager out. Joe Kinnear has done a decent job considering the state that the club is in. Had we won those tight games in which we drew we would be level on points with Wigan who by all accounts are having a great season.

What we need is a little bit of stability and if Kinnear is going to give us a few seasons of mid table consolodation while putting in place a quality scouting network and continue to develop our academy then so be it.

The last thing we need is to get rid of him and bring in another high paid so called savoiur only to be in the same position. The problems we have are not going be fixed by changing the manager, its much deeper than that. If it wasnt for Kinnear lets face it we would probably be bottom of the league right now, but with Kinnear we are in 11th position.

The problem with this forum is that the majority of posters only know Newcastle United from KK first reign in charge and therefore havent seen or experienced the dark days of the eighties and early ninety's where we were really s***. I am not saying this position that the club finds itself in is acceptable but it could be a lot worse....look at Leeds United.

Kinnear done miracles at Wimbledon, give him a chance to change us around..... we may be suprised

From the US thread:

The shooter was apparently killed by a robot delivered bomb.  That's truly frightening.  No capture, no trial, summary execution.

Maybe that's why the police have been shooting so many people recently, needed the killstreak to call in the bomb robot?

'I'll describe the relationship that I have and define it as perfect for everyone because I'm a narcissistic spastic c***'


Best GIF/Image Reply
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Bes GIF/Image Reply" are, in alphabetical order:

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
Spoiler
Entelequia
Alféizar
Almáciga
Caracola
Crepúsculo





If that c*** starts releasing singles on the chart like that mess from Wigan, I certainly will be.

Sick of this now.

I'm not just saying this, I'd be absolutely raging if I was you mate. I can't handle that sort of s***. There was this kid in A Level Geography who used to repeat mine and my mates jokes but louder so he could get the laughs and pretty quickly my A Level in Geography became an AS Level Geography because I dropped it.






Garth Crooks Nodding GIF
Pardew Dance GIF
Vote For Thomas  GIF

Poster You Wished Would Leave the Forum Forever
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Poster You Wished Would Leave the Forum Forever" are, in alphabetical order:

Shintonsghost, The College Dropout & Tubestationatmidnight

The following were nominated but did not make it:

3 Nominations:
Kid Icarus
Crumpy Gunt
Ronaldo
Neesy

1 Nomination:
Froggy
Toondave
Trumpet
Triggs
HTT
Happinesstan
Northerngimp
Stray Mackem
Foluwashola


Admin/Mod Appreciation Trophy
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "Admin/Mod Appreciation Trophy:" are, in alphabetical order:

Bluestar, BlufPurdi, Dave, Kaizero & Mike

The following were nominated but did not make it:

1 Nomination:
Disco
Greg
Nobody
Midds
Beren
Wullie

The Jon Lockwood Award for Long Term Achievement
Spoiler
The Nominees for the category "The Jon Lockwood Award for Outstanding Long-Term Achievement:" are, in alphabetical order:

BlufPurdi, Disco, Interpolic, Jill & Kaizero

The following were nominated but did not make it:

2 Nominations:
SEMTEX
Beren
GeordieMessiah

1 Nomination:
JH
Nobody
Decky
Ian W
Heron
Neesy


Previous winners:
Mike - 2015
Wullie - 2014
Cajun - 2013
Rich - 2012
Dave - 2011



Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #2 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 04:04:55 AM »
Apologies for taking a while getting the awards topic out. Been a hectic week for me. Hopefully better late than 2009 :lol:


Jill

  • Don't really care what.
  • Pizza Life.
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #3 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 09:50:39 AM »
Great stuff Kaiz! :aww:

I don't have a speech prepared. I've never won anything before.

Incognito

  • I am the eggman goo goo gjoob
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #4 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 12:53:48 PM »
Congratulations to all of the winners, all richly deserved, in the positive sections anyhow.

Thanks also to the solitary poor old soul who nominated me and further kudos to said person for using the username that I used for the first 5 years of my existence on N-O but haven't used for the last almost 6 years  :lol:

Special thanks to Kaizero for undertaking to this task year in year out also. O0
RIP gejon/cajun/ Jon Lockwood.

Proud to have made your acquaintance Sir.

newsted

  • Everything Louder Than Everything Else. RIP Lemmy.
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #5 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 01:16:59 PM »
Congratulations to all of the winners, all richly deserved, in the positive sections anyhow.

Thanks also to the solitary poor old soul who nominated me and further kudos to said person for using the username that I used for the first 5 years of my existence on N-O but haven't used for the last almost 6 years  :lol:

Special thanks to Kaizero for undertaking to this task year in year out also. O0

:lol: Yeah, Billy, noticed that too. Well done, Kaizero.
:( For f***'s sake. What is the matter with people?

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #6 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 02:58:19 PM »
Congratulations to all of the winners, all richly deserved, in the positive sections anyhow.

Thanks also to the solitary poor old soul who nominated me and further kudos to said person for using the username that I used for the first 5 years of my existence on N-O but haven't used for the last almost 6 years  [emoji38]

Special thanks to Kaizero for undertaking to this task year in year out also. O0
No worries. :thup: I refuse to acknowledge you as Incognito.
{o,o}
|)__)
-“-“-

Worst Chat Poster 2016
Most Boring/Repetitive/Deteriorated/Repetitive Poster 2016

Incognito

  • I am the eggman goo goo gjoob
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #7 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 04:38:31 PM »
Congratulations to all of the winners, all richly deserved, in the positive sections anyhow.

Thanks also to the solitary poor old soul who nominated me and further kudos to said person for using the username that I used for the first 5 years of my existence on N-O but haven't used for the last almost 6 years  [emoji38]

Special thanks to Kaizero for undertaking to this task year in year out also. O0
No worries. :thup: I refuse to acknowledge you as Incognito.

Good on you. O0
RIP gejon/cajun/ Jon Lockwood.

Proud to have made your acquaintance Sir.

Deuce

  • Book Wanker
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #8 on: Sunday 22 January 2017, 11:48:14 PM »
As always Kaiz, even though you take immense glee in all of this, kudos to you for knocking it all together.

Shay's Given Tim Flowers

  • Stephen f***ing Hawkinson
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #9 on: Monday 23 January 2017, 09:52:42 AM »
Fair play Kaiz

thomas

  • NO's Best Foreigner - Participant
  • arf
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #10 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 08:09:54 AM »


C'est la vie.

Thank you Kaizero, as always.

54

  • NUFC54
  • Remember the Cant.
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #11 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 10:58:04 AM »
Well done Kaiz, spiffing job old chap. :thup:
My name is 54, and this is my favourite forum on the internet.

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #12 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 11:04:41 AM »
The sad part of being late is that I feel like my Thomas joke isn't getting an audience :lol:


Lush Vlad

  • Vlad The Impaler (Nath)
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #13 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 06:21:12 PM »
Good work, Kaiz. 

Most Improved, eh?  I put it down to my peers in the NFL thread and the name change  :aww:

Thanks to all my fans. 

oldtype

  • Book Wanker
  • Rafa in public
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #14 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 08:14:37 PM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? :lol:

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #15 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 08:38:09 PM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? [emoji38]
I posted exactly the same.

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #16 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 08:44:19 PM »
It's our BREXIT/Trump tbh
Newcastle Online Safe For Work CSS
Last Updated Apr 29, 2016

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #17 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 08:51:38 PM »
Democracy is overated.

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #18 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 09:19:43 PM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? [emoji38]
I posted exactly the same.
It's madness how more aren't seeing it [emoji38]
So raise your fists and march around
Dont dare take what you need
I'll jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed
Crawl with me into tomorrow
Or i'll drag you to your grave
I'm deep inside your children
They'll betray you in my name

Sleep now in the fire

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #19 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 09:23:39 PM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? [emoji38]
I posted exactly the same.
It's madness how more aren't seeing it [emoji38]
:thup:

Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #20 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 09:26:40 PM »
Clearly blinded by hatred for KI.
Aye. Just felt I did it at the same time as you and you came out tops every time. Just in a bad mood now after Pixelhax.

Have to get this out now:

Pixel you're either hacking with the demo, or you're too f***ing good to constantly hammer us to the ground with it every time we play. Starts to take the p*ss a bit. I mean, I don't want you to not enjoy the game, but at the same time I'd quite like to enjoy playing it too.

Lush Vlad

  • Vlad The Impaler (Nath)
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #21 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 09:29:59 PM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? :lol:

Yep. I like KI. Even if he is a bit hostile at times. Never has been to me and he sparks debate, at least. Stan just posts utter drivel. Thought I had escaped him, he was even worse on another forum.

Disco

  • Me reading your posts
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #22 on: Tuesday 24 January 2017, 10:00:09 PM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? :lol:

Yep. I like KI. Even if he is a bit hostile at times. Never has been to me and he sparks debate, at least. Stan just posts utter drivel. Thought I had escaped him, he was even worse on another forum.

Not sure if possible.

Deuce

  • Book Wanker
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #23 on: Wednesday 25 January 2017, 02:28:48 AM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? :lol:

Yep. I like KI. Even if he is a bit hostile at times. Never has been to me and he sparks debate, at least. Stan just posts utter drivel. Thought I had escaped him, he was even worse on another forum.

:lol: link please

Inferior Acuña

  • (Grant) Geordie in Chicago
Re: N-O Forum Awards 2016: The Results
« Reply #24 on: Wednesday 25 January 2017, 04:18:52 AM »
Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong threads but it boggles my mind how happinesstan didn't win worst chat poster.  What has KI done? :lol:

Same, I thought that was a no brainer.