Topic: She's pregnant.

[Cajun]

This has been a public service announcement from your minister Babatunde

[madras]

it's the "my people" that's intriguing.

[Interpolic]

it's the "my people" that's intriguing.

True.

[Super Duper Branko Strupar]

Each sentence is gold. "That is a terrible breach of trust".

[Interpolic]

It's perfection.  Feel like reprising the Ample Samples thread.

[MW]

Each sentence is gold. "That is a terrible breach of trust".

first sentence i knew it was him straight away

[LucaAltieri]

Is she in the same country as you?

No, that would be too easy.

Visa will be through within the next 6 months.

Do you even need one if she's knocked up?

Yup. My visa will have taken 8 months to be issued which allows me to go there and marry her. Once I've married her I can apply to have a green card - which again takes months.

Having a kid doesn't even speed up the process. The only difference it makes is when they're assessing whether or not we're genuine. Basically means we won't be getting a visit from homeland security to check on us.

[SEMTEX]

Is she in the same country as you?

No, that would be too easy.

Visa will be through within the next 6 months.

Do you even need one if she's knocked up?

Yup. My visa will have taken 8 months to be issued which allows me to go there and marry her. Once I've married her I can apply to have a green card - which again takes months.

Having a kid doesn't even speed up the process. The only difference it makes is when they're assessing whether or not we're genuine. Basically means we won't be getting a visit from homeland security to check on us.

Odd. At least it rules out my missus pulling the ol' no-pill.

Anyway, good luck with the visa/child/america thing. It's the worlds biggest ball ache, but it's worth it. I'm sure the kid s*** will be bangin' too.

[Super Duper Branko Strupar]

Is she in the same country as you?

No, that would be too easy.

Visa will be through within the next 6 months.

Do you even need one if she's knocked up?

Yup. My visa will have taken 8 months to be issued which allows me to go there and marry her. Once I've married her I can apply to have a green card - which again takes months.

Having a kid doesn't even speed up the process. The only difference it makes is when they're assessing whether or not we're genuine. Basically means we won't be getting a visit from homeland security to check on us.

Odd. At least it rules out my missus pulling the ol' no-pill.

Anyway, good luck with the visa/child/america thing. It's the worlds biggest ball ache, but it's worth it. I'm sure the kid s*** will be bangin' too.

You f***ing liar!

[SEMTEX]

Kid's are good banter man, they wanna play football and that kind of s***.

[Super Duper Branko Strupar]

Kid's are good banter man, they wanna play football and that kind of s***.

Playing football with kids would be s***. Imagine putting them in goal, whats the point? Even worse when you're in goal, at least when you're out you can belt the ball at them.

[Tooj]

[SEMTEX]

Kid's are good banter man, they wanna play football and that kind of s***.

Playing football with kids would be s***. Imagine putting them in goal, whats the point? Even worse when you're in goal, at least when you're out you can belt the ball at them.

How could that possibly be s***? You're playing football against an immobile erratic 2 foot tall moron, with limited linguistic ability. He'd be straight in net and I'd be banging them past him for hours.

[Kaizero]

You going Yank or she going Brit?

[Super Duper Branko Strupar]

Kid's are good banter man, they wanna play football and that kind of s***.

Playing football with kids would be s***. Imagine putting them in goal, whats the point? Even worse when you're in goal, at least when you're out you can belt the ball at them.

How could that possibly be s***? You're playing football against an immobile erratic 2 foot tall moron, with limited linguistic ability. He'd be straight in net and I'd be banging them past him for hours.

Then you may as well go play football on your jack. At least you won't have to stand and wait while they try and drop kick the ball, only to swing and miss several times before they don't even reach the penalty spot and you have to go to get it.

[Kaizero]

Kid's are good banter man, they wanna play football and that kind of s***.

Playing football with kids would be s***. Imagine putting them in goal, whats the point? Even worse when you're in goal, at least when you're out you can belt the ball at them.

How could that possibly be s***? You're playing football against an immobile erratic 2 foot tall moron, with limited linguistic ability. He'd be straight in net and I'd be banging them past him for hours.

Playing footy against my nephew is one of the few occasions where I catch myself thinking "Damn, one of those of my own wouldn't be so bad." It's genuinly a great feeling. Kids man.

[Domokunwins]

This.

[MW]

playing football with my little lad is the only thing that makes me want a kid

[Cajun]

Kids are s***, you think 'f*** yeah, I can play with toys again' but you always have to play with the toys THEY want to play with and do what THEY want to do (normally build high walls with lego, boring!).

It's such a tease, they can f*** off tbh.

[Interpolic]

My dad used to say "No Blasties" every time he went in goal against us, I think it was borne out of us constantly blasting the ball into his bollocks.  Ended up calling our Wallsend Boys Club (RIP ) team "No Blasties" and he was the manager.  One of the other lad's dads used to turn up to the game p*ssed some weeks and tell us to break the other team's legs, thank f*** we were a bunch of fairies and half-realised he was taking the p*ss even though we were only 9 or 10.

[LucaAltieri]

You going Yank or she going Brit?

I'm going yank. I like cheeseburgers more than she likes healthcare.

[BarackObama]

My dad used to say "No Blasties" every time he went in goal against us, I think it was borne out of us constantly blasting the ball into his bollocks.  Ended up calling our Wallsend Boys Club (RIP ) team "No Blasties" and he was the manager.  One of the other lad's dads used to turn up to the game p*ssed some weeks and tell us to break the other team's legs, thank f*** we were a bunch of fairies and half-realised he was taking the p*ss even though we were only 9 or 10.

[LucaAltieri]

Guys, she's still pregnant. I'm beginning to think she's keeping it.

[BarackObama]

[Sewelly]