Topic: Daft Confessions Thread

[Messi]

My mate had one of those efed things.

I'm waiting patiently for him to come online so I can ridicule him.

[Disco]

Hairline of a 33 year old tbf

Wrestling is the height of shitness like. Don't 'get it' in the slightest so therefore it's s***.

[SEMTEX]

Hairline of a 33 year old tbf

Wrestling is the height of shitness like. Don't 'get it' in the slightest so therefore it's s***.

Grr

I will wait until I'm 50, when my hairline has not changed, and you're all fat baldy c***s, that day I will be king.

[TheGuv]

When i got caught on the metro without paying a ticket i gave my mate's details

The unpaid ticket didn't get followed up so it's all good

[SEMTEX]

[Sifu]

The thread title

[Jill]

Visit me in prison, please.

[Tooj]

I used to do that all of the time like.

[ElDiablo]

Sometimes, in fact every time I need a p*ss in the middle of the night, I dont partake in the long, cold scary walk to the nearest toilet. I merely p*ss in a bottle or something similar and go back to sleep. Often leaving the offending bottle for days. Infact, I've just returned home from uni leaving behind a bottle of p*ss on my desk and a can full of p*ss by my bed that I keep forgetting to take out.

Does it not smell? Also, couldn't you easily circumcise yourself on an open can. 

[Dem BABA]

How would you even aim it into the can? I can barely stop from hitting the floor next to the toilet. This guy is pissing into holes with a diameter less than 5 centimetres.

[Ryan_Taylor]

I dopped the screw in the tuna.

[thomas]

cried watching little women

huge nerd but hate almost everything nerds like when it comes to TV/movies - loathe star wars, battlestar galactica, dr who, babylon 5 etc.  Star trek is decent. 

as a child would save my toenail clippings for weeks to leave embedded in mothers pillow and to this day she never knew which of the five kids it was

i sneak in my own spice mix to a friends house whenever he makes any food and secretly season it because it's so horribly mild and he thinks it's spicy

[Messi]

My mate had one of those efed things.

I'm waiting patiently for him to come online so I can ridicule him.

Just remembered the name he gave his character; Brett Maverick

What a colossal faggot.

[Doctor Zaius]

Sometimes, in fact every time I need a p*ss in the middle of the night, I dont partake in the long, cold scary walk to the nearest toilet. I merely p*ss in a bottle or something similar and go back to sleep. Often leaving the offending bottle for days. Infact, I've just returned home from uni leaving behind a bottle of p*ss on my desk and a can full of p*ss by my bed that I keep forgetting to take out.

Does it not smell? Also, couldn't you easily circumcise yourself on an open can. 

Suprisingly not. My rooms disgusting like. Aye, got to be very careful with those cans, still not worth a walk to the toilet though.

[Toon Hoser]

i sneak in my own spice mix to a friends house whenever he makes any food and secretly season it because it's so horribly mild and he thinks it's spicy

   Do you have to use creative diversionary tactics?

[thomas]

i sneak in my own spice mix to a friends house whenever he makes any food and secretly season it because it's so horribly mild and he thinks it's spicy

   Do you have to use creative diversionary tactics in the kitchen?

He's gone to Le Cordon Bleu and reckons he's Jamie Oliver/Mario Batali/Bobby Flay rolled into one.  The one time I tried to season it in front of him it almost ended in a fistfight. 

So yeah.  He does good bakes and chili/stews so it's not too hard to get it in.  It's not BAD by any stretch just nothing that excites the tastebuds

[Foluwashola]

Wrestling s****

So yeh, I'm going to hell. I wish he'd just change his f***ing password. Btw this isn't a regular thing as such, like twice a year when I'm really bored. But still, totally wrong.

Far too vague about e-feds there Jill. I took over one too as it happens...

wait...

Nah I've definitely changed my passwords.

EFeds = writing a load of s*** pretending you're a wrestler. All powerful efed owner then decides which of 2 fighters wrote the better bants during the week, then writes up a report of the "event". Canny cool.

Wow, that sounds....wow 

When I was like ten I signed up to some sort of fantasy football thing, that was advertised in the back of World Soccer, and you were given a team through the post and had to contact other people for transfers and stuff. One night some creepy man rang my house phone wanting to buy my Nedved or something though, so that was the end of that 

[Mike]

[Ryan_Taylor]

... May have been part of an E-Fed. I'll be in the corner having a word with myself...

[wormy]

f***ing EFeds. Let's start one, lads! Do they even still exist? Years after I partook in one this random guy still used to regularly pop up on my MSN asking if I wanted to start a new one with him.

[Ginola]

That wrestling efeeds s*** sounds REALLY gay

Alright big lad, we weren't all pumping metal and pounding vag at 13, some of us had a childhood.

[Nobody]

Sometimes, in fact every time I need a p*ss in the middle of the night, I dont partake in the long, cold scary walk to the nearest toilet. I merely p*ss in a bottle or something similar and go back to sleep. Often leaving the offending bottle for days. Infact, I've just returned home from uni leaving behind a bottle of p*ss on my desk and a can full of p*ss by my bed that I keep forgetting to take out.

Does it not smell? Also, couldn't you easily circumcise yourself on an open can. 

Suprisingly not. My rooms disgusting like. Aye, got to be very careful with those cans, still not worth a walk to the toilet though.

How far away is your toilet like?

[Super Duper Branko Strupar]

Thread of the year already!

I'll type up mine when i'm cained. Give me time to remember them all. I'm a f***ing atrocious human being.

[Mike]

Sometimes, in fact every time I need a p*ss in the middle of the night, I dont partake in the long, cold scary walk to the nearest toilet. I merely p*ss in a bottle or something similar and go back to sleep. Often leaving the offending bottle for days. Infact, I've just returned home from uni leaving behind a bottle of p*ss on my desk and a can full of p*ss by my bed that I keep forgetting to take out.

Does it not smell? Also, couldn't you easily circumcise yourself on an open can. 

Suprisingly not. My rooms disgusting like. Aye, got to be very careful with those cans, still not worth a walk to the toilet though.

How far away is your toilet like?

Too far to get up, but apparently close enough to make carrying multiple bottles of p*ss tolerable.

[JH]

I dopped the screw in the tuna.

haha class!