Topic: Your Football

[Ginola]

I'm absolutely f***ing s*** at football. Got no skill, pace or technique whatsoever. I basically run about a bit, make a few tackles and get rid of the ball as soon as it comes near me.

I love the brutal honesty there midds!

[Gash?]

I'm absolutely f***ing s*** at football. Got no skill, pace or technique whatsoever. I basically run about a bit, make a few tackles and get rid of the ball as soon as it comes near me.

Call yourself a 'work-horse' and you'll make a career of it, look at Rooney!

[madras]

I'm absolutely f***ing s*** at football. Got no skill, pace or technique whatsoever. I basically run about a bit, make a few tackles and get rid of the ball as soon as it comes near me.

Call yourself a 'work-horse' and you'll make a career of it, look at Rooney!

it works up until the last word.

[Cabaye]

Played for Ossett Town who are in the Unibond Prem from age 10 to 18/19 then left because I lost interest.

[Andy]

Play Sunday League, and two games of five a side a week. Pretty much just a goal scorer, I'm not the most skillful player by any means but I'm good at getting into the right positions and I have enough pace to open up the room to get a shot in. I'm a selfish t*** like, link-up play is a last resort.

[Jill]

I stopped playing competitively at about 16 due to horrid coaching sapping any enjoyment out of the game.

This. Played for Walker Central from the age of about 7 until I was 16, rarely enjoyed playing for them due to them just being complete dicks. Was the captain of my school team, played for the county and a few teams at Wallsend Boysa throughout this time as well though which I really enjoyed.

Arr man, Walker Central were a proper dirty bunch of c***s 

Aye. Who you play for?

Crammy Cobras. We played the Barcelona way.

My boyfriend's nephew played for them for a bit after turning down Wallsend. They stuck him outfield (he's always been a goalkeeper) and he ended up giving up. Now plays tennis & does martial arts.

[Doctor Zaius]

Haha I played for Crammy Cobras for a year two seasons ago. We were canny decent. 1st Division.

First year not playing since I was about 8. Missing it like. Might have a few games for N-O in the future like.

[Foluwashola]

Only played for them for the kits. Old school Parma, lush

[mrmojorisin75]

gave up at 16 when i went to 6th form, was in the school team every year and pitched up to trials where the team was already f***ing picked by the captain and teacher, all ended up from the same school (shock)...i had a stormer in the trial and ended up in the f***ing 3rd team, played a few games and bailed

didn't play again for about 10 years but have been playing 5's, 6's and 7's regularly for a while now - such a f***ing shame 'cause i'm canny good these days, would have been much better had i not stopped playing

was a left back my entire time 'til 16, turns out i'm actually a good attacker/winger...having been a defender for so long i seem to be very good at making runs they find hard to track and defend against, funny that

[Ginola]

was a left back my entire time 'til 16, turns out i'm actually a good attacker/winger...having been a defender for so long i seem to be very good at making runs they find hard to track and defend against, funny that

I know what you mean there. I started off as a full back, didn't bother mentioning in the OP as I didn't play there for long, but when I moved to the wing I had an idea of the kind of runs I found harder to defend when I was a full back, which seemed to work quite well for me.

[Ian W]

I'm returning to decent form after a period of being a bit unfit. Mainly play small sided games though, sunday league football isn't for me.

Being nearly 10 years younger than Ryan Giggs really puts it into perspective when people start moaning about being too old.

[Dem BABA]

Played constantly until I was 16 or so and really started playing basketball/grew four inches and became worse at using my feet. I was on my school teams throughout childhood, but I've always been a bit too aggressive and violent for football. A right back and centre back that disguised his lack of skill with effort and fouling. Had and still have a hell of a shot on me though. My only real skill.

[ElDiablo]

Played division 1 football for about 7 years, won basically everything going, went on a few 'tours' and won those as well. Never forgot in the final of one of them a mate went to cross it and sliced it in from near the corner flag which turned out to be the winner, hilarious. Not gonna lie, I wasn't up to the standard of a few of the lads who played, they eventually got picked up by Watford and Luton and I then dropped down to division 6 to start a new team with mates from school. Good fun but the most frustrating thing in the world, the standard was so s*** I lost interest after a while.

Now I play 5 aside every week which is good, but want to start playing 11 a side again, probably for a uni.

[Anderson]

I'm absolutely f***ing s*** at football. Got no skill, pace or technique whatsoever. I basically run about a bit, make a few tackles and get rid of the ball as soon as it comes near me.

Call yourself a 'work-horse' and you'll make a career of it, look at Rooney!

    

[LesPaul]

Just kick about stuff at school and in PE (hurling dominated). I was a very s*** striker but as I got older I drifted back into the midfield and just kicked everything that passed me... Haven't played in years like. Knees are a bit f***ed from fallen arches.

[MW]

Played for a couple clubs until I was about 13, was a bit of a utility player before then but at 13 our year 9 school coach thought I'd be a good striker so he put me there and I scored 71 in 72 goals for school, then started playing for my college at uni but my lifestyle has caught up with me, not the player i was a few years ago

[TRC]

Played in goal for Washy under 10's, played a few games. Got beat 9-0 every goal was my fault, so I feigned injury and quit.

Detication.

[Anderson]

Played in goal for Washy under 10's, played a few games. Got beat 9-0 every goal was my fault, so I feigned injury and quit.

Detication.

I bet you were just as dedicated to spelling tests back then?

[TRC]

I was.

[Ameritoon]

Played since I was a kid, all four years on my high school team, same with a relatively big club team. I only play five-a-side now indoor currently, outdoor in the summer. Scored quite a few goals in the last few games, actually. 

[Weznufc]

Play 6's every week now, really enjoying it.

same here. have my own team called cartoon army lol

[wormy]

I'm f***ing horrendous. I was always in goal at school even though I'm like 5'8. I was the only person that'd dive on concrete, or actually commit to one on ones. A teacher did once tell me to try out for the team, but I couldn't be f***ed. After school I barely ever played, kicked a football for the first time in years a couple of months ago, 3 hours of headers and volleys with mates down the park, I scored 2 fluke goals

[ross magoo]

I played amateur for about 10 years.  I preferred to play left-back but i could play anywhere across the back four or left-midfield when required.  I wasn't a world-beater but i enjoyed it.  I got a nasty knee injury in October 2008 and didn't play for about 6 months.  I spent a while trying to come back from it but i just couldn't turn anymore so i had to jack it in.

Only real claim to fame is that i played in the same team as a guy who used to play up front with Teddy Sheringham at Millwall http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McGlashan_%28footballer%29

[Sewelly]

I'm absolutely gash at football. Played for Wideopen for about 3 seasons, we got relegated from the top division to the bottom in straight seasons. I joined basically after all the good players left. Was decent craic like, but we'd get trounced every single week.

I played RB and RM for the most part. Our team was tiny so they tried to turn me into a CB but I'm shocking at heading and jumping for the ball so I was dire there too. RB was probably my best position as I could do the least damage there.

Also used to play 5-a-side at Benwell. That was nawty as f***. Ended up in goal most weeks, liability as usual.

Now I'm playing 7-a-side in Prudhoe, which is decent. I'm still s****.

[JH]

I love playing football so much, but I'm absolutely woeful at it.

I'm the most one-footed player on the planet. If I kicked the ball with my left foot, it would probably go behind me. I have a bit of minute skill which only comes on show once in a blue moon, the rest of the time my shots go so wide that the corner flag has to duck to miss it.

I'm too f***ing fat to play football, but it helps my strength and I can hold off players quite well. My favoured position is RM as my cross is pretty alright sometimes. I could play upfront as well but I wouldn't get many (if any) goals.

Have been put in goal a few times due to my size, but had to stop throwing myself around as much since my knee op a couple of years ago.