Topic: The Stupid things your Lass has said thread.

[cp40]

Inspired to start this thread today, after the lastest in a long line of classics from my lass.


So, im just finishing work today about 1-30 , when she rings me, to tell me her meeting at st Nicks hospital has finished.
So i offer to pick her up.

She gets in the car, and without a hint of irony.

' This place is f***ing Mad!'

 



edit, to those who dont know, its a mental hospital.

[Chief Piggum]

"stalin? he's from Red Dwarf ain't he?"

[Pilko]

Last year:

"So, is Beckham playing for England?"

"Yeah, number 18 there"

"Ah, I thought he went off to play for America?"

[Shak]

"They have cars in Russia?!"

As we viewed the photos of our friends recent holiday.

About an hour later I went to the laptop and she had left the browser open after she'd finished with it. Was open on the wiki page entitled 'Russia'.

[matta]

"can we watch something else"(kan vi ikke se på no anna?, in norwegian)


newcastle vs boro this year.


we're still together. crazy i know

[Rocker]

Hope you brayed her 

[jimburst]

To her mother: "you know james is catered? Well his dinners cost £4.50 a night, and if you add breakfasts onto that it's almost £40 a day!
Her mother: Do you not mean...a week?
Her: Nah, I worked it out before, it's £40 a day.

[Dave]

'Yes'

[Kaizero]

"If you don't start paying attention to me it's over."

Easiest break-up, ever.

[Lazlo]

What number do you wear when you play football on sunday ?

'11'

Is that 5 a side ?

[SEMTEX]

"If you don't start paying attention to me it's over."

Easiest break-up, ever.

I hope you replied with:

"..... what?"

[Pilko]

'Yes'

Bet you'll update that in a year with "I do"

[Ste]

"Thats the wrong hole"

Yeah, I know. Your point? 

[Pilko]

"Thats the wrong hole"

The girl from crazy golf?

[Lazlo]

"Thats the wrong hole"

The girl from crazy golf?

[Cajun]

She said something (can't remember what)
Me: Bollocks
Her (without even blinking): If I had bollocks I would teabag you!


Random bitch


Shop in town named "The Sandwich Shop"
Her: Do you think they sell sandwiches? (geniune question).

[Leazes1986]

At the beach: "Is London on the other side of the water?"

[cp40]

At the beach: "Is London on the other side of the water?"

 

what fking beach??

[Leazes1986]

At the beach: "Is London on the other side of the water?"

 

what fking beach??

Shields 

[cp40]

At the beach: "Is London on the other side of the water?"

 

what fking beach??

Shields 

 

[LBW]

At the beach: "Is London on the other side of the water?"

 

what fking beach??

Shields 

 

 

I was gonna say you must be joking........ but that has to be true

[Leazes1986]

At the beach: "Is London on the other side of the water?"

 

what fking beach??

Shields 

 

 

I was gonna say you must be joking........ but that has to be true

  f*** off, she's from Jarra 

[TêteDeMaure]

You must have picked her up at Margie Suttons.

[LBW]

At the beach: "Is London on the other side of the water?"

 

what fking beach??

Shields 

 

 

I was gonna say you must be joking........ but that has to be true

  f*** off, she's from Jarra 

Really 

15 years ago, I was seeing a lass from Jarra called A****

Anyhoo me and a mate were playing Sensible Soccer at mine, well, my parents house, where I lived, when she appeared, fully expected. Me and my mate were starting a game (me toon - him Liverpool) and she said "Don't mind me, I'll sit and watch....... who's in the red?"

To which my mate responded "me!"

"And who's in the black?"

 

I do not lie!

[Leazes1986]

  To be fair wor lass is canny intelligent, she just comes out with some stupid f***ing questions. Hasn't got a clue about any sort of geography.