Author Topic: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."  (Read 1098 times)

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Fugazi

  • That fullof fellow
  • I'm sorry, the bar's closed.
"Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:04:38 PM »
Was walking home from Town along Byker Bridge, and a kid on his BMX stopped me and asked for 50p to "put some air in his tyres.", This was at around half 12 aswell.

Thought it was a change from the usual request for money for the phone, bus etc.

Anyone on here ever had any odd requests for money from Charvs?
NE28

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #1 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:08:33 PM »
wasn't a request but i've threatened a charva for checking the change tray of a public phone whislt i was using it.
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

LBW

  • TPFKA lankybellwipe
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #2 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:15:35 PM »
wasn't a request but i've threatened a charva for checking the change tray of a public phone whislt i was using it.

for what porpoise were you using the change tray my lad?
"You're giving ME the 'it's naat you it's me' routine? If it's anybaady, it's ME!!"
"Ok George, it's YOU!"
"You're DAMN RIGHT IT'S ME!"

Gash?

  • If I'm dead, you've been dead for weeks.
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #3 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:18:42 PM »
In stoke they are honest, got any cash for a can  :rolleyes:

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #4 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:19:45 PM »
I've had an extension on the money for the bus one where that the charv's brother was having a heart transplant in an hour and he needed the money to say good luck, it was quite inventive tbf.

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #5 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:20:00 PM »
wasn't a request but i've threatened a charva for checking the change tray of a public phone whislt i was using it.

for what porpoise were you using the change tray my lad?
i was using it as charva bait.

in fact......http://www.newcastle-online.com/nufcforum/index.php?topic=35540.msg1115817#msg1115817
Bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all.

Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant.

Heneage

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #6 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:45:56 PM »
I had some 14 year oldgo "BUY UZ SOME TABS FROM THE SPAR" "No I don't smoke" "What If I give you the money" "No" "Aww what afuckin gay".

Adam^

  • Go Newc Jet Sox!!
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #7 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:49:50 PM »
Some lad stopped me outside the clayton street chippy, he had a just bought some curry and chips. He asked for 60p for something, I told him I have no change he then said well go and buy something. It was when I said well you obviously don't need the money as you've just bought some food. He just f***ed off them.

mattypnufc

  • Resident shirt designer extraordinaire
  • Park it.
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #8 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:54:10 PM »
Not myself personally, but my old boss when I worked part time at a newsy/offy during college.

Boss walks into work, gets asked by a charv to "get uz sum cans mista!" literally outside the shop.

He says "Aye, no worries", takes a fiver off this kid. 

Comes into the shop, says alreet, pops to the till buys the cans and takes them outside for the kid.

Presents the kid 2 cans of Panda Shandy.  Kid was like "Nar man I wanted Fostaz".  Boss looks at him, and says, "well you shouldve been clearer then.  Now, this is my shop, I'm the owner, I'm keeping your money, now f*** off!"

I was in stitches watching from the till. 

JH

  • Administrator
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #9 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 04:59:52 PM »
Someone I know has a way of making money and f***ing them off at the same time.

"How, can yee get iz some cans?"

"Aye, of course"

You take, say the tenner, off them, go into the shop, ask the shopkeeper if he has a back door, give him a fiver to use it, then nick off out the back door and go home.

Still make a £5 profit :lol:

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #10 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 05:01:44 PM »
Only time I've ever been asked was by some Polish bloke outside a petrol station asking for 50p for some petrol. :lol:

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #11 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 05:04:44 PM »
You like your walks like mate.
"I took the decision to resign in September 2008 only after very careful and anxious consideration. The decision to resign was one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had to take in my life. I believe that anybody who knows me and my attachment to Newcastle United and the North East in general will understand how difficult this must have been. I very much hope that the decision of the Tribunal now confirms why I felt that I had no option but to resign from the position as Manager of the Club that I love."- Kevin Keegan speaking on 02/10/2009

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,72878.msg3113451.html#msg3113451

Disco

  • Sax-ing all over Europe 2012/13.
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #12 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 05:25:50 PM »
Always get a few round central asking for 12p or whatever for their fare to some obscure place, same goes on the metro. Metro is generally full of scum. Always amusing.

BlueStar

  • 2006/07 Newcastle-Online Cup Winner
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #13 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 05:28:23 PM »
Was walking home from Town along Byker Bridge, and a kid on his BMX stopped me and asked for 50p to "put some air in his tyres."

Should have just given him a hand full of air
(╮°-°)╮┳━┳ ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #14 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 05:30:15 PM »
Was walking home from Town along Byker Bridge, and a kid on his BMX stopped me and asked for 50p to "put some air in his tyres."

Should have just given him a hand full of air

:lol: :lol:
"I took the decision to resign in September 2008 only after very careful and anxious consideration. The decision to resign was one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had to take in my life. I believe that anybody who knows me and my attachment to Newcastle United and the North East in general will understand how difficult this must have been. I very much hope that the decision of the Tribunal now confirms why I felt that I had no option but to resign from the position as Manager of the Club that I love."- Kevin Keegan speaking on 02/10/2009

http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,72878.msg3113451.html#msg3113451

The Bonk

  • "Bonk on"
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #15 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 05:33:03 PM »
Was walking home from Town along Byker Bridge, and a kid on his BMX stopped me and asked for 50p to "put some air in his tyres."

Should have just given him a hand full of air

:lol: :lol:

:lol:

Liam Liam Liam O

  • supports his local club.
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #16 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 06:43:53 PM »
Was running through Westerhope one night in my shorts & running vest when some kids asked me to stop & go into the off-licence and get them some beer.

Wouldn't have looked strange at all :lol:

Anth.Nufc

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #17 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 06:50:50 PM »
You ever seen the people in town who say will you buy my last issue of Big Issue as im diabetic and need to get home which is bull s***.
« Last Edit: Saturday 2 August 2008, 08:12:01 PM by Anth.Nufc »

LBW

  • TPFKA lankybellwipe
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #18 on: Saturday 2 August 2008, 06:54:53 PM »
My failsafe used to be "Hello there mister, I've lost my 10 pee for the bus home!  Do you have 10 pee you could lend me?"

This was when the bus ride home cost a child ten pence. I believe the year was shrouded in Heinkel manouvres over Essex!
"You're giving ME the 'it's naat you it's me' routine? If it's anybaady, it's ME!!"
"Ok George, it's YOU!"
"You're DAMN RIGHT IT'S ME!"

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #19 on: Sunday 3 August 2008, 01:05:54 AM »
At the cinema some middle aged blokes said that they'd been chucked off the train miles away from their house for having a kids ticket and they were trying to raise the money to get home again! Was inventive like!
Interviewer: Which pantomine contains the character 'Widow Twanky'?
Sean Thornton: Romeo and Juliet

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #20 on: Sunday 3 August 2008, 01:41:58 AM »
Me and 2 of my mates got stopped ages ago by this absolute wreck who says "can I lend 6p for the phurn like"

My mate could hardly keep a straight face and says nah I've got nothing, so this absolute smelly, wasted tramp says "let iz check ya pockets then" but before we could say f*** off he must have forgot he was talking to us or something and stumbled off :lol:
Fat b****** out!


Rich

  • Administrator
Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #21 on: Sunday 3 August 2008, 02:01:52 AM »
There's usually a tale involving jail, no money and needing to get a bus to some God-forsaken hole when they ask me.

Some of them are quite inventive.
Nar.

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #22 on: Sunday 3 August 2008, 07:48:11 PM »
I remember years ago I used to go with my mate who was a celtic fan to parkhead and when you parked the car, there was always kids there asking to look after your car for a quid.  Needless to say, it was a pound well spent as I did hear of some unfortunate accidents to other cars whose owner had refused this 'kind gesture'

Heneage

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #23 on: Sunday 3 August 2008, 11:33:35 PM »
Dad had same thing working in Liverpool. "Watch your car for a shilling" while they slept in Digs.

Re: "Hoo mister, lend iz 50p for..."
« Reply #24 on: Sunday 3 August 2008, 11:50:05 PM »
anyone had the c*** on Northumberland St. asking for money to ring his gran 'cos he's "just got oot tha polis stayshan?" - Had it about four Saturdays on the bounce at one point.

Black Berghaus, short back and sides, looks off his head...
I was a pure creep when I was a kid tbf. Used to spunk in deoderant can lids too