Topic: "I have the urge to throw myself off tall buildings"...

[Parky]

http://talk.guardian.co.uk/WebX?50@@.775c05cd



I have this urge, or sometimes it's more like a fear that a part of me that I can't control will throw me off the balcony/under the train/down the stairs/smashing into the parked cars anyway. I am scared of myself.

I only started feeling like this about 10 months ago, when my mental health hit rock bottom, and it's been there ever since. Going down the stairs worries me, like I have a feeling that one day they will be the death of me.

So glad to see I'm not the only one with these weird feelings!

Swert - 06:29pm Nov 20, 2006 GMT (#73 of 94)
I'm fine in enclosed heights (even outdoor glass lifts). But I cannot drive over bridges without feeling that undertow telling me to drive off. My one time atop the World Trade Center with nothing but the wind and a few slightly raised platforms around was so terrifying that I had to get on my stomach and have my friends drag me to the lift. The golden dome atop St. Paul's is a must to avoid - the outdoor balcony railing stops at about my navel. And you must walk all the way around to the exit; you can't go back down via the entrance.

JennyRad - 07:39pm Nov 20, 2006 GMT (#74 of 94)
I don't get the urge to push people under buses or whatever, but whenever I walk past a soft-topped car I get the urge to slash the roof. Very odd. 


I think I've discovered some kind of nutcase corner. bluebiggrin.gif

[Ian W]

I think it's more a fear that you might throw yourself off, I've felt that before...

strange  :roll:

[Parky]

"iWiggle - 08:16pm Nov 21, 2006 GMT (#83 of 94)
I sit on planes worried that I might flip out and open the door mid-flight. I can't watch the air stewards do their safety routine in case it gives my subconcious ideas. I used to be fine on planes, I don't know why this has started."


....and they're worried about terrorists..

[Invicta_Toon]

"I am scared of myself. "

schizo tbh

[Rob W]

FFS let us know WHICH  building you're going to jump from

I would never last easy in my grave if me tombstone read

"here lies Rob W killed by Parky jumping on his heid"

the embarassement    :bigbro: :bigbro: :bigbro:

[Parky]

Guaranteed soft landing tbh. bluewink.gif

[Parky]

LittleMissMuffet - 09:00pm Nov 21, 2006 GMT (#86 of 94)
At least you (hopefully!) don't have the impulse to put your hand into an engine, or into the gap between two adjoining conveyor belts.


 blueeek.gif blueeek.gif

[Rob W]

Guaranteed soft landing tbh. bluewink.gif

I thought it was a well established fact that my head is absolutely solid..............................

[Optomystyc Knight]

i see where their comming from actually. i dont want to sound like a nutter (failed but sometimes i get similar thoughts, not to jump off a bridge, but say in a chruch or assembly to just make a complete t*** of myself in the most embarrassing way possible. briefly touched upon on a coupling episode. to do fearing how much control we have or something similar imo. to say i have urges btw is not to say i have urges to, but i just think what a complete t*** of myself i could make right now, and from then on it it just preoccupies my thoughts.


now the door has been opened there can be no return to normality though. blueyes.gif

[Parky]

.....You have issues with authority tbh.. tongue.gif

[Optomystyc Knight]

"iWiggle - 08:16pm Nov 21, 2006 GMT (#83 of 94)
I sit on planes worried that I might flip out and open the door mid-flight. I can't watch the air stewards do their safety routine in case it gives my subconcious ideas. I used to be fine on planes, I don't know why this has started."


....and they're worried about terrorists..

with this one, should the thought "i could kill everyone in this plane by opening the door" enter my mind for the meerest second, it would preoccupy my thoughts for the rest of the flights.

I need to be sectioned blueyes.gif

[Parky]

Soemtimes my thoughts wander and I worry about stopping the engines with my mind.... blueeek.gif

[BlufPurdi]

I had exactly this when my OCD wasn't in check.  The desire to fall in front of a bus or train was quite incredible actually.

[Optomystyc Knight]

OCD- could be connected there too, although i don't have it. it seems to be an obsessive compulsive desire.

[Parky]

I have a little shrine of objects on my desk and they have to be in special positions, if the wife re-organises any of it or adds an alien item I get quite frantic.

[Optomystyc Knight]

now thats weird parky blueyes.gif

[ChezGiven]

now thats weird parky blueyes.gif

Not quite as weird as you though you dangerous freak! Opening doors mid-flight?

[BlufPurdi]

OCD- could be connected there too, although i don't have it. it seems to be an obsessive compulsive desire.

I'd be surprised if every person on that site hasn't got OCD and/or depression.  It's a bad mix. 

[Optomystyc Knight]

i'm still alive, so i've not obviously given into the temptation thus far. blueyes.gif

[Optomystyc Knight]

OCD- could be connected there too, although i don't have it. it seems to be an obsessive compulsive desire.

I'd be surprised if every person on that site hasn't got OCD and/or depression.  It's a bad mix. 

if you have it with depresssion then it could become much more dangerous, if you have the desire to kill yourself alongside those temptations then it could mean trouble. blueyes.gif

[BlufPurdi]

OCD- could be connected there too, although i don't have it. it seems to be an obsessive compulsive desire.

I'd be surprised if every person on that site hasn't got OCD and/or depression.  It's a bad mix. 

if you have it with depresssion then it could become much more dangerous, if you have the desire to kill yourself alongside those temptations then it could mean trouble. blueyes.gif

 blueyes.gif

[Parky]

When I'm a bit down, I try and focus on the things that I know work for me and try and not get bogged down in the past and worry too much about the things I could have done better.

[Rob W]

never look back Parky

remember you can't do anything about it (except maybe learn sommat) - its gone for good

all you can do is to make the future better

[Clay]

When I'm a bit down, I try and focus on the things that I know work for me and try and not get bogged down in the past and worry too much about the things I could have done better.

Good advice there Parky.. I havn't had a job for a while due to similar problems in this thread.. Anxiety etc.. Since i've stopped delving into the past and worrying how i've f***ed up, things are getting better.. Just applied for a job this morning aswell.. woohoo!

[Rob W]

"all things must pass"