Author Topic: The Jokes Thread! (Don't Look if Easily Offended)  (Read 338525 times)

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Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #25 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 12:59:15 PM »
www.sickipedia.org

The very first joke I read on that is sick!





havent closed the site yet tho.....

Threelegs

  • Absolute Legend! (Grade A Cuntstable)
Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #26 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 02:41:25 PM »
oh i think i know the one you are talking about markluk

Is it this

What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?

The Pope died a virgin.   


And as is always the case, the best remedy to getting over a girl is getting inside another.

Verlaine

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #27 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 03:22:35 PM »
A pregnant woman walks into a clothes shop, picks a dress from the rail and says to an assistant "Is it OK to use the changing room?"
"Yes" says the assistant and the pregnant woman goes inside and closes the curtain.
Half an hour later she still hasn't come out and the assistant starts to get worried. She goes up to the curtain and asks "Are you OK in there?"
Voice replies "Yes. Just coming out" and the curtain opens.
Inside the changing room the floor, walls and part of the ceiling are covered in blood and there's a dead foetus in the corner.
Shop assistant cries "Oh my GOD! You only went in there to try on a dress!"
"Dress?" Replies the woman. "I only wanted the coat hanger."


I liked that one.

Dokko

  • TT
  • Uniting the Club 1 fan at a time
Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #28 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 03:24:25 PM »
Too many dead baby jokes for my liking.

 :crazy2:

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #29 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 03:30:21 PM »
oh i think i know the one you are talking about markluk

Is it this

What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?

The Pope died a virgin.   




That one is a bit sick like

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #30 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 03:55:38 PM »
oh i think i know the one you are talking about markluk

Is it this

What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?

The Pope died a virgin.   




i would say if there was a line, this joke crosses it blueyes.gif

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #31 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 04:36:43 PM »
oh i think i know the one you are talking about markluk

Is it this

What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?

The Pope died a virgin.   




i would say if there was a line, this joke crosses it blueyes.gif
In the current climate I'd have to say it's a disgrace.
Invicta_Toon 21st June 2007:
"you're a f****** c*** tbh AS9
and I say that in the knowledge that certain admins want me gone, in the face of their rank f****** hypocrisy in the face of pieces of s*** like yourself, blatant WUM's like NE5, blatant w*****s like Jay Jay Sea, and all other 12 year old cocks"
100% Pure Quality.

Mr. Snrub

  • Messi
Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #32 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 04:47:06 PM »
There once was a young girl called Maddie
She had such an irresponsible daddy
Snatched from her bed
She's probably dead
Raped by a Portuguese baddy.

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #33 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 05:53:36 PM »
oh i think i know the one you are talking about markluk

Is it this

What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?

The Pope died a virgin.   




Yep that was the one! sick!! some good ones on that site tho!

Dave

  • Administrator
Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #34 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 06:18:01 PM »
The clue's in the name...

Invicta_Toon

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #35 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 07:20:36 PM »
What goes tick, cross, cross, cross, cross, cross, cross, tick, cross, cross, cross, cross, tick tick?



















The class register at Virginia Tech

Geordiesned

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #36 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 07:29:15 PM »
Someone must sit in an office waiting for something newsworthy to make jokes out of. This one is on that site already:

What's black & annoyed?

The reincarnation of Bernard Manning.




PS Maybe a NTFW should be added to the thread title - I don't think I'd like to be caught reading half of these jokes at work!

Dave

  • Administrator
Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #37 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 07:30:33 PM »
PS Maybe a NTFW should be added to the thread title - I don't think I'd like to be caught reading half of these jokes at work!

Why, do you have to read them out loud? Bit spazzy like? ;)

Geordiesned

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #38 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 07:31:45 PM »
PS Maybe a NTFW should be added to the thread title - I don't think I'd like to be caught reading half of these jokes at work!

Why, do you have to read them out loud? Bit spazzy like? ;)

No, there's some right nosey b******s at my gaff!

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #39 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 07:34:38 PM »
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty eight year olds?

There's twenty of them.
Well focus on the quasar in the mist, the Kaiser has a cyst

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #40 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 07:50:11 PM »
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty eight year olds?

There's twenty of them.

i read that one earlier, found that really funny!

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #41 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 08:22:50 PM »
A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl:

"Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven.

Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike, you dickhead?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice"
I'm bored of Hampden anyway

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #42 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 08:26:40 PM »
A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks 'Why the long face?'
To which the horse replies, 'I have AIDS'.
I'm bored of Hampden anyway

Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #43 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 08:56:39 PM »
A Rangers fan and a Celtic fan jump off a 200ft cliff to see who gets to the bottom first.  Who wins?













Society.
I'm bored of Hampden anyway

garth

  • Save a whale, eat a Japanese!
Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #44 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 09:56:51 PM »
Some blond jokes.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"


 A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


 A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"



 There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."



A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."



A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"



Incognito

  • I am the eggman goo goo gjoob
Re: The Jokes Thread!
« Reply #45 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 09:58:57 PM »
f*** me, Bernard Manning hass hardly stopped breathing and he's being ostracised but some of these jokes are 20 times more offensive  than any of his.IMO.
RIP gejon/cajun/ Jon Lockwood.

Proud to have made your acquaintance Sir.

Yorkie

  • C'mTA
Re: The Bad Taste Jokes Thread! Do not look if easily offended...
« Reply #46 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 10:37:49 PM »
How do you stop a dog shagging your leg?

Pick it up and suck its cock.

:lol::lol:

Mr. Snrub

  • Messi
Re: The Bad Taste Jokes Thread! Do not look if easily offended...
« Reply #47 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 11:09:52 PM »
What is the worst thing about f***ing a 5 year old..


..getting the blood off the clown suit.

Re: The Bad Taste Jokes Thread! Do not look if easily offended...
« Reply #48 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 11:14:26 PM »
is it child molestation week or something?

Mr. Snrub

  • Messi
Re: The Bad Taste Jokes Thread! Do not look if easily offended...
« Reply #49 on: Tuesday 19 June 2007, 11:18:14 PM »
In Suffolk, yes.